Daily Conversations
by Yarrie - Water Master
Summary: No longer on Hiatus! In which Kouji and Izumi talk about parrots, sails, tsunamis, politics, and much much more. Oh, and love. Can't forget that. 365 - and a quarter - days of Kouzumi drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

My inspiration is a little...shall we say, off? Rusty? Old?

Whatever.

So this is the product of having too many tests in one week. Have fun with this guys...

And yes. There will be delicious, delicous AU. Probably a different one every day.

And yes. Daily means _daily._

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

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"Are you serious, Kouji?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I didn't ask if you were sorry, I asked if you were serious. Why, of all things..."

"Well, you did say that - "

"I know what I said!"

"So why are you complaining?"

"You've corrupted my parrot!"

"I hardly see how I corrupted it."

"It's going to annoy me all night now!"

"Well, good, because that happens every day for me."

"You, you - don't change the subject!"

"Why not? I followed your instructions exactly, word for word."

"You taught my bird how to _propose_ to me!"

"...well, you told me to stop asking you."

"..."

"So I had to improvise."


	2. Chapter 2

Second day of this.

And it's another AU, although it could count as canon XD

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Hey, Izumi, if you had a choice, would you want roses or lilies for Valentine's Day?"

"Where did this come from?"

"From my head."

"I know that. But why?"

"Well, as long as _you_ choose the flowers, you don't have an excuse."

"Excuse?"

"To refuse them."

"I wouldn't refuse them!"

"In front of me, no."

"Kouji, you do realize that Valentine's Day is six months away?"

"Well, yes, but I need all the preparation time I can get with a girl like you."

"Why, oh why, are you so unromantic?"

"...Izumi?"

"Yes?"

"There are many things wrong with what you just said..."

"There are just as many things wrong with your head."

"Hey, I _know_ how to be a gentleman. I just don't feel like doing it for you."

"Kouji, your idea of chivalry is pushing the handicapped button to hold the door for me."

"...what's wrong with that?"

"You know what, I give up. You're completely and utterly hopeless."

"Okay."

"..."

"So, lilies or roses?"


	3. Chapter 3

Third day of this. The reason why Izumi is tired of proposals...

And it's another AU, although it could count as canon XD

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"What about this one?"

"No. It's too…white."

"Izumi."

"Yes?"

"You _are_ going to a wedding, right?"

"Kouji, only the bride is supposed to wear white."

"Exactly."

"…"

"…"

"…did you just…oh my god."

"Yeah, you finally got it."

"That was the worst proposal ever."

"I guess it doesn't matter unless the wedding is just as bad."

"…or unless the marriage is just as bad."

"This is a Kodak moment, isn't it?"

"No, it's not. I refuse to acknowledge that the past twenty seconds happened."

"But it was more than twenty seconds ago."

"The past sixty, then."

"Fine. I need time to get a ring anyways."

"You proposed in a dress store without a _ring_?"

"I think I should take it as a good thing that you're so forgiving and merciful?"

"Yep. One or two whacks should do it."

"Okay."

"Or five."

"Okay."

"Or a hundred."

"Okay, that's a bit much."

"Ugh...nine, eight, seven..."

"Aren't you supposed to count down from ten? That's a nice round number."

"..."

"Ow."

"Damn you, Kouji. Now we have to pretend that the past five minutes didn't happen."


	4. Chapter 4

Fourth day, going strong. This will be a nice shot of normal...before I start dishing out some really wacky stuff.

Canon verse this time!

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Hey, Kouji. Which outfit do you like better, this one or the other one?"

"...why are you dressed up as a nun?"

"I'm not a nun! This is just a dress, Kouji!"

"Nuns wear dresses."

"It's not called a _dress _for them, idiot."

"But why?"

"Just answer the question. C'mon."

"I'd like to know what you're going to do with my answer first."

"I just want to know which one you like better."

"But you might be using reverse psychology on me again..."

"Hey, now, don't blame me for _your _double-guessing."

"Fine. What does the other dress look like?"

"...This!"

"...holy..."

"Well?"

"..."

"You like?"

"I'm not sure."

"That was such a tame response. You're no fun, Kouji."

"So you've told me. The other dress was better..."

"Ehhhh? Why?"

"You think I'm going to let other guys see you like this?"


	5. Chapter 5

I said I would bring the wacky, right? Well, here it is. Day 5!

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Kouji, I think you killed him."

"No, he's still twitching."

"That's just a reflex. He's probably very, very dead."

"How can someone be very dead? You're either dead or not."

"What if you're in a coma?"

"But I'm not."

"No - I mean, theoretically, what if someone was in a coma?"

"They're still technically alive."

"If you wanna call _that_ living."

"I do."

"For your peace of mind?"

"...maybe."

"Shut up. Don't say it."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"Of course I do. You're my partner!"

"Whatever. Want to go for a drink later?"

"Maybe...I think you got blood on me."

"Izumi...grasshoppers don't have blood."


	6. Chapter 6

Day 6, I think! Awesome. The next three days will be linked, each one taking place at different times in the same AU plotline.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

Part 1/3

* * *

"This corset is so tight. Can I take it off now?"

"According to your mother's instructions…no."

"I despise you."

"Ah, what good posture! Stay like that."

"I. Despise. You."

"Why's that?"

"You're helping my mother marry me off."

"Well, she's the one paying me. I do like having food to eat, you know. The starving artist ideal doesn't feel very pleasant."

"I don't care about your stomach."

"How nice of you. Is that also how you're going to treat your husband?"

"I'm not getting married!"

"Shall I say so to your mother?"

"…You're _helping _her! I don't want to let random foreigners look at my portrait and decide if I'm pretty enough to have their children!"

"What an utterly fascinating opinion. Do you plan on telling your family anytime soon?"

"I already have."

"Much good that it did you."

"Shut up. Wait. Minamoto?"

"Yes, Miss."

"Does the contract specifically say that you have to make me look pretty?"


	7. Chapter 7

Guess what, guys? I got over the first week! Only 51 more to go!

The sequel to yesterday's drabble.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

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Part 2/3

* * *

"I can't believe it! I spent hours sitting here for absolutely nothing!"

"So it would seem."

"…"

"Here. The contract. Your mother's already paid the cancellation fee, so you should just take it to her."

"Minamoto? You're really upset about this, aren't you?"

"Well, it's not so bad. She compensated me for my time."

"You're doing it again..."

"Doing what?"

"Bottling up. You shouldn't do that anymore. It's bad for your health."

"Deal with it."

"Minamoto, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Didn't you say that your pride was important to you?"

"Survival's better. I'll see you around if I ever come back."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Most likely, the capital. Plenty of merchants who want their faces painted over there."

"Paint on their faces? I'll never understand the middle class."

"No, I mean that they want to be painted on canvas. Really, _I'll_ never understand the upper class."

"I'm sorry – "

"What's up with that attitude? Aren't you glad that your mother's changed her mind?"

"…I suppose. She's never let me write this much before. I think I'm still in shock, actually."

"Hm. From one artist to another…good luck."

"Kouji – "

"Bye."


	8. Chapter 8

I seem to have this habit of thinking too hard about drabbles...because now I really want to make this into a full-fledged story. But I will restrain myself. Maybe. Most likely will end up channeling my creative energy by posting more drabbles from this 'verse.

Also...I have nearly ten thousand words archived on this site. Wow.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

Part 3/3

* * *

"It must have taken you a while to track me down."

"Not really. You're pretty famous hereabouts."

"What, for art?"

"No, for drinking. What else would they possibly see in you?"

"Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Miss Orimoto."

"My pleasure. How have you been?"

"Not too bad. You?"

"I'm fine. Say, did you ever finish my portrait?"

"Yes. For a gallery exhibition. Someone offered me three thousand for it."

"Oh. That's…good, I guess. You've been doing really well for yourself."

"You wanted it? The painting, I mean."

"Maybe. I just wanted see how other people see me. It seems kind of childish now..."

"You can have it."

"Wait, what? I thought you said –"

"They offered. I refused."

"I'll pay you, then."

"No. It's a gift. Artist to artist, remember?"

"…Thank you."

"I'll take it to you. Are you going to dinner at the Constable's later?"

"Yes, but what are you waiting for?"

"What am I...You aren't…?"

"Does that surprise you, Kouji?"

"…so your mother never…"

"No. Couldn't find a suitable match for me, I suppose."

"…You're so straightforward."

"And you?"

"I'll come by in the afternoon. If you don't mind."

"Should I set out the tea?"

"Do what you want."

"I'll see you soon, then."

"You see me now."

"Ha. Ha. Ha."


	9. Chapter 9

9th day. Watch out for the strange, the bizarre, and the terminally insane.

This is definitely AU.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"So...what now?"

"I don't know."

"Hey, it's your fault, so fix it!"

"I don't know how. I'm not a mechanic."

"Well, _I'm_ not an mechanic either."

"That's a pity."

"No, you know what's a pity? _You!_"

"That's very nice of you."

"I know. You _do _realize that if we can't repair the ship, we're basically sunk, right?"

"Technically, it's impossible to sink when there's no gravity."

"That's not at all reassuring."

"Why?"

"There's _no oxygen either."_

"Oh. That might be a problem."

"This is so ridiculous. I'm going to die because my coworker spilled his yogurt."

"Which is a shame. That was some good yogurt."

"...Kouji?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."


	10. Chapter 10

Day 10~

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"...Well, I've never seen this before."

"Neither have I. This is going in the record books."

"...Guinness."

"No, not that one."

"...what other record books are there?"

"Scrapbooks."

"But we don't have any."

"We'll make one."

"I love how a messed up traffic light makes you want to make a scrapbook, Izumi."

"I've had weirder moments of inspira-_Wait!_ No, don't go!"

"What?"

"We've got a red light, Kouji!"

"Correction. Our lane has a red light. The one to our right has a green light. So does the one to our left. And the one to the far side has a yellow light. I don't think normal traffic rules apply for bipolar intersections."

"But what if the other street is messed up too? I'm not ready to die yet! I still have a scrapbook to make!"


	11. Chapter 11

Day 11 is here.

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist! Even though I've already finished Ultimatum, I just love those characters too much...so here is a cameo appearance!

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"I think I'm in shock."

"Oh, really? That's good."

"..."

"You're reacting a lot more calmly than I expected, Izumi."

"..."

"Watch out. The cake's going to drop if you keep clenching your hands like that."

"The _cake_ is the least of my worries right now. When did you arrange all of this?"

"When mother came to visit."

"...that's the important business that you had with your family?"

"Basically, yes."

"If we weren't in public, I'd smack you."

"Go ahead and try. What's stopping you?"

"...public humiliation."

"You mean parental humiliation."

"That too. Why would you invite my parents to our engagement party, Kouji? Actually, why would you arrange an engagement party at all? I don't like being shown off. You know that."

"Let's just say that if they try anything funny, I know how to handle them. With plenty of witnesses, too."

"..."

"Have I earned a kiss for that?"

"Maybe. I still haven't forgiven you for the serenade."

"Yet."


	12. Chapter 12

Day 12~

Expect these two to show up sometime in the future. Because I like them.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"...Those are lovely feathers."

"Yeah, it's a pity they only look like that when they're burning off."

"Does it hurt?"

"Burning up, you mean? Of course it does."

"No, dying in general."

"...unless your nerves stop working, I would think so."

"Stop taking everything so literally, Kouji."

"Sorry. My morbid sense of humor seems to be taking over again."

"No problem. Supposedly, it's natural to think that way on your deathbed."

"....ha."

"What?"

"You're completely serious, aren't you?"

"So are you."

"Yeah, but it's more problematic with you. Take care of yourself, Izumi."

"Of course. I was perfectly fine before you came along, you know..."

"Hey, Izumi?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not nice to tell the dying that their lives are unimportant."

"But you're used to it. Isn't this your third time?"

"Yeah. See you in the next life."

"Haha. Is there anything in particular you want me to do for your ashes?"

"Not really. Contrary to popular opinion, phoenixes can be reborn anywhere."

"I see. Have fun going through puberty again."

"Oh, hell."


	13. Chapter 13

13th day. Canon verse!

Also! I was going to tell you guys that I accept requests for drabbles here but the gray matter up there don't work so well anymore...so I forgot. Well, anyways. Onwards!

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"I have decided what I want to do when I grow up."

"...That's good for you, Izumi. What is it this time?"

"I am going to reinvent the bandaid."

"Say what?"

"Exactly!"

"Izumi, please. A _bandaid?"_

"Not just a bandaid. _The_ bandaid."

"It might help, possibly, if you explain what the difference is."

"The definite versus indefinite article."

"...those are grammatical terms, aren't they?"

"So what if they are?"

"Grammar is cheating. I could say that the difference between a boy and a girl is the pronoun if I use grammar."

"...so what do you think is the _real _difference between a boy and a girl?"

"...no fair."

"Haha. Your foot fits so well in your mouth, you know that?"

"...Out of pure curiosity, was all of your strangeness for the past three weeks an act put on for the sake of proving this point?"

"Well, what else would it be?"


	14. Chapter 14

14th day. Canon verse!

Two weeks, only fifty more to go!

**Open for requests**.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Ugh. This place looks like it hasn't had a good wash in centuries."

"...But the building's not even a decade old. That's not possible."

"Those are set-in stains!"

"Don't be like that. See, the chairs look new. At least you can sit down , right?"

"That's not the problem, though. I don't like looking at dirty walls."

"..."

"...what?"

"Doesn't graffiti make walls dirty too?"

"But graffiti actually looks good."

"Only when it's family friendly."

"...What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Hey, watch out - "

"Kyaaaah!"

"...I warned you."

"That does it. Come hell or high water, I am going to clean this place up! Where's the cleaning closet?"

"Wait, Izumi."

"What?"

"I don't think the cafeteria ladies are going to appreciate that very much."

"So?"

"So...how about you wait until I find a video camera before you go around making them mad?"


	15. Chapter 15

15th Day!

Untrained Counselor Izumi. Have fun.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"...C'mon, Kouji. You can do better than that. Smile!"

"..."

"...Okay, stop. That's going to haunt my nightmares for the next two weeks. Thanks a lot."

"And now you see the reason my classmates flee from me in terror. Apparently, I give off ax-murderer vibes."

"Well - it's - not _that_ bad?"

"Right. Who are you trying to convince?"

"You suck. I'm just trying to decrease the chances of you becoming an anti-social hermit living on a random mountaintop ten years from now."

"That's a good idea."

"No, no, Kouji. It's a bad, bad, bad, bad idea. Very bad."

"Why?"

"Because I have enough to do without trekking three miles up and down a mountain every day to see you."

"...What if I move to a ski resort?"

"Have you forgotten how sensitive you are to the cold, Kouji? You'd be the first ever human popsicle. "

"Actually, in 1918 - "

"Kouji. Rule #356, remember?"

"...Oh. Sorry."

"Repeat after me. _I shall refrain from using morbid statistics in the middle of perfectly nice conversations._"

"This is your idea of a perfectly nice conversation?"


	16. Chapter 16

Day 16~

Phoenix Kouji makes his reappearance! ...Years later.

A few more details on how phoenixes work in their world - and a hint for what Izumi is. =D

Any guesses?

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Hmmm. I need a bubbling tentacle, three dove feathers, a masquerade mask, and a chessboard."

"What the hell. Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not. Shoo, shoo, go fetch! There's a reason I keep you around, you know."

"Slave-driver."

"Not my fault that you decided to sign the contract of loyalty."

"Well, it's not _mine_ either. And I kind of saved your life in the process, so you owe me."

"I thought we agreed to clear the life debts."

"Control freak."

"...Didn't we?"

"Yes, we did. I was teasing you, stupid girl."

"You think a stupid girl would have survived this long?"

"Well, _I'm_ the reason that you're still alive, so that's not a very good argument."

"And we are_ not_ having this discussion again. Go fetch."

"I'm not a dog."

"You were _once_ a wolf. Same difference."

"But that was before. It doesn't count anymore."

"...Are you completely human now, Kouji?"

"Until I die."

"Oh."

"What's with that face?"

"It's not very common for humans to be familiars, is it?"

"No, but it's not completely unheard of either. Why? Having doubts about it?"

"Of course I am. How are you going to protect yourse-"

"Don't worry. Dying's not a problem for me, but it_ is_ for you - that much is normal. If you're going to treat me as your familiar, do it properly."

"I'm still worried!"

"That's nothing new..."

"...Okay then. You should leave before I change my mind."

"Sure. Bubbling tentacles, right? Does it matter which animal I use?"

"...Depends. Are you in the mood for calamari?"


	17. Chapter 17

17th day. Canon verse!

**Open for requests**.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Mmm. Good morning, Kouji."

"Hey. Had a good night?"

"Mmm-hmm. I dreamed that we went to the Bermuda triangle and found a treasure chest. It was a good dream."

"I figured. You were saying something about gold."

"Oh! Did I wake you up?"

"Not by talking, no."

"...You know...if I accidentally suffocate you in your sleep someday, you have no one to blame but yourself. I did give you fair warning."

"Yeah, you said that you liked _hugs_. I assumed that you meant the conscious kind."

"So why are you complaining?"

"Who said I was complaining?"

"...Don't tell me. You were just _stating a fact_, right?"

"No."

"Okay, what then?"

"I was giving you the reason that I can't get up and make breakfast."


	18. Chapter 18

18th day. Canon verse!

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"You sure work hard, Mister!"

"...I suppose."

"You've been here all day. Did you even eat breakfast? That's bad for you, you know. Not eating breakfast."

"..."

"I mean, you're already so skinny. Are you anorexic?"

"..."

"It's bad to be anorexic."

"..."

"It's also bad to ignore your employer's daughter....Kouji-kun."

"Stop talking nonsense then. What do you want?"

"One of these days, I'm going to have to teach you the meaning of subtlety. It's business. I'll be in the library's meeting room at five o'clock. Can you make it?"

"I'll find a way. Back me up if I need an excuse to leave."

"Will do."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. And make sure to eat enough, Mister!"

"Why do you act like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like a brainless idiot."

"It makes things easier for everyone if they think that they don't have to worry about me."

"...Wouldn't it make things even easier if I didn't know?"

"Well, someone has to keep an eye on things when I'm not here, right?"

"...Izumi, you're such an idiot. That was a horrible excuse."

"Presidents have been elected with worse."

"Do you want to be president?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"Well, it depends. Are you going to outlaw paperwork?"

"So demanding, Kouji-kun...if you're that busy, you don't have to do anything for me today. It's only a minor issue."

"In other words, there's a catastrophe on the horizon that will _only_ affect half the nation, right?"

"Of course!"


	19. Chapter 19

Day 19, guysssss.

A short one with much wtfery. And then I'll be going into another multi-part drabble, I'm so excited.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"So why am I here?"

"According to my classmates...all boyfriends like bikinis. I'm bringing you to prove them wrong."

"I thought we agreed not to use the 'b' word."

"Which one? Boyfriend or bikini?"

"Both."

"Don't be so stubborn. It's only this once. Then you can return to your den of hibernation for the rest of the winter."

"Izumi...I don't want to go."

"My _apologies_. I am exerting peer pressure on you."

"But you're not my peer, Izumi."

"...I'm not your inferior, either."

"Or my superior."

"So what am I?"

"A robot?"

"Good point...but so are you."

"Technically, you're still a girl. And I'm...not."

"Anatomically, there's no difference between us."

"...ERROR: Logical Fallacy!"

"Damn it. The older models are always like this!"


	20. Chapter 20

Day 20

I...I don't know where this came from. Trust me, if I could tell you I would.

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DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Izumi, is that what I think it is?"

"Depends on what you think it is."

"...cat ears."

"Oh, no, of course not! I would never take the ears off a poor innocent cat!"

"Izumi, please don't use any more sarcasm. It doesn't suit you. At all."

"Haha. But you have to admit, the ears look pretty cute."

"...Either you have been possessed by your otaku friends or I'm dreaming."

"You have dreams like this?"

"Admittedly, no."

"Hmm, but I don't think I've been possessed. I'm still Izumi. Or rather, I know that I'm still Izumi, and not possessed Izumi, even though possessed Izumi would still kind of be Izumi, and - "

"And you need to stop talking in the third person."

"Izumi is sorry."

"...Let me ask you one thing. What did you have for breakfast this morning?"

"Huuuuh? I don't know. My friends took me out to eat."

"That explains so much."

"So are the ears cute?"

"...Maybe."

"Haha! I have succeeded! Minamoto Kouji has admitted to my cuteness! Alert the newspapers!"

"Huh?!?!?!!?!"


	21. Chapter 21

Day 21, three week mark!

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Izumi, I don't think you understand what dating means."

"Hm? Of course I do!"

"...or, at least, you don't understand what dating is supposed to involve."

"Um...?"

"..."

"So..."

"..."

"Does this conversation have a point?"

"Ugggh, let's try this again. Stupid Kouichi, talking is _not_ always the answer..."

"What does Kouichi have to do with this?"

"Never mind that. Hypothetically, if your goldfish and I were drowning in the Red Sea somewhere, who would you save first?"

"The goldfish, of course! Maru-chan can't stand salt water."

"..."

"Geez, Kouji, don't make a face like that. Besides, you know how to swim!"

"See, this is why I say that you don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"Why we're dating."

"Kouji, are you jealous of my _goldfish_?"

"...that's not the point."

"But are you?"

"I am not jealous of your goldfish. Let me go. You're constricting the veins of my right arm."

"So why did you ask that question?"

"...Hang on a second. Let me go beat Kouichi up first."

"Kouji!"

"..."

"What a guy...I wonder if he realizes that goldfish can't drown?"


	22. Chapter 22

Day 22...out of 365. Dear me.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Good evening."

"…Evening."

"You're in a bad mood today, Izumi."

"Because _you're_ taking this too far."

"Taking what?"

"This joke."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Yes, you are."

"I am not joking, Izumi."

"Taking me in as your personal cook. Making deals with my manager behind my back. What are you planning?"

"…a festival?"

"Good reply."

"Of course. I've spent most of my life learning how to not upset women."

"...Well, obviously, not long enough, because I am very upset with you right now."

"But you don't count."

"What do you mean,_ I don't count_?"

"...It's the truth."

"I am 100% female, thank you very much!"

"Technically, half of your genes came from your mother, and half from your father...And your father is male, is he not?"

"I will _end_ you."

"I'd like to see you try."

"..."

"...hey, I was eating that!"

"Too bad."

"Oh, that was a low blow, Izumi. A really low blow."

"I'm sure it was."

"What an insulting little mouth you have. There are better things you could be doing with it, you know."

"Like what, chewing your ear off?"

"...not exactly what I was going for..."

"Well, how about it? No ears means no more hearing. No more hearing means better sleep at night, right?"

"...you have a point."

"I always do. You should pay me for discovering the perfect solution to your insomnia."

"Ouch. That hurts, Izumi. That really does."

"You deserve it."

"Is it too late to give you a raise?"


	23. Chapter 23

Day 23: And I have so much work nowadays. Grrrr.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Heeeeeeey."

"Is for horses."

"Shush, Kouji. Don't ruin the moment."

"What moment?"

"Shhhh! Watch."

"...That's...disturbing. Why are you watching people swallow tongues, Izumi?"

"Er, Kouji? It's called making out."

"It's called _PDA_."

"Which you're apparently allergic to."

"Obviously."

"You know, even though we're actually going out now, nobody's even seen us hold hands once."

"No surprise there - and that can't possibly be hygienic."

"What can't be?"

"..."

"Oh my god."

"..."

"...Turn it off! Turn it off!"

"There. Better?"

"Yes. Thank you!"

"You're very welcome. Now, why was _that_ rated PG-13?"

"I don't know. Kids today are scary."


	24. Chapter 24

Day 24! And I have two major projects due for the same class in two weeks. Screeeeeew English.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Why me?"

"Shut up. Don't whine."

"You're such a bastard! Why am I here? Why am I taking this class? Why am I taking this class with _you_?"

"Because you were a stupid girl and forgot to check to see if your mortal enemy was also taking Psychology."

"Screw. You."

"After we work on the project."

"I despise you."

"Well aware of that."

"So."

"So, tell me about your life. Not that I care."

"Well, I'm fifteen years old and in hate with you."

"Tell me something that I don't know."

"Could you be any more of a - you know what, never mind."

"...so?"

"I'm also somewhat - kind of - stupidly - in love with you."

"Hmph. Tell me something that I don't know."

"Like hell - wait. What?"

"You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know that?"

"...Are you serious?"

"What do you mean?"

"You already _knew_?"

"I'm not stupid, Orimoto."

"I...you..."

"It's mutual."


	25. Chapter 25

Day 25~

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Where have you been all day, Kouji?"

"My growlery."

"Your what?"

"Growlery. It's sort of like an emo corner only I don't need to be there all the time."

"So it's...a place to growl?"

"More like a place to steam and rant to myself about life."

"A _growlery_."

"Uh-huh."

"Is that even a real word?"

"Of course it is. Grammar Nazi, remember?"

"Word coinage and grammar are two different things."

"The same goes for soap and shampoo, doesn't it?"

"Kouji, I'm not even going to pretend to understand how shampoo relates to being a Grammar Nazi."

"It's an analogy."

"I think you need more sleep."

"So do I."

"Why don't you get some?"

"I did."

"...you just took a nap, didn't you. In your growly place."

"Growlery."

"Fine, growlery."

"No, I didn't take a nap. I was too pissed off."

"You were pissed off? Why, that only ever happens once every fifteen minutes!"

"Che. I was pissed off at you."

"Me? Why?"

"...and you still have no idea. How dense _are_ you?"

"Hey, if you would just spit it out, maybe I would actually know what you're talking about!"

"Do you know what today is?"

"The fourteenth?"

"Of what month?"

"...Well, it's February....and Valentine's Day...but why are you upset?"

"You _still_ don't get it? See, this is why I say that you're dense."

"I already gave you chocolates, didn't I?"

"Izumi, I'm _lactose intolerant_."

"I know."


	26. Chapter 26

In honor of Mother's Day!

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Izumi, what are you doing?"

"What, this?"

"Yeah."

"It's for my mother."

"...you have a mother?"

"No, I was born under a rock. _Yes_, I have a mother."

"Geez, no need to be snippy. What's wrong with you today?"

"What's wrong with _you?"_

"Insensitivity?"

"No kidding."

"Hey, that was mean."

"Just remember, Kouji...you're the one who admitted it."

"Yeah, yeah. So why are you writing your mother a card?"

"Because if I call her, she'll ask me why I don't have a boyfriend yet."

"..."

"At least this way, she'll be too focused on the pretty card to remember that I'm single."

"Supposedly. You know, there's an easier way to get her off your back."

"Yeah, I know."

"So?"

"Not yet."

"...when are you going to tell her?"

"Probably on Christmas."

"Be sure to put lots of pillows on the floor, then."


	27. Chapter 27

We return to canon verse!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

'Izumi, you're very visible today."

"Eh? I'm always visible. I mean, it's not exactly possible for a human being to be transparent."

"Unless they're a ghost."

"Kouji, ghosts don't exist."

"Says you."

"Because it's true. I am going to repeat this for emphasis. Ghosts don't exist."

"That's what they all say."

"Where's your proof?"

"Where's _yours_?"

"I asked first."

"Izumi, have you ever been to my house?"

"Do you seriously believe that there's a ghost in your house? I mean, really."

"Yes?"

"Oh, Kouji. You're hopeless."

"Hey, even you said it was creepy."

"I said it was creepy because it was dark, storming, and halfway _burned to the ground_."

"You've never spent the night there."

"What, are you inviting me?"

"..."

"...Okay, that question never happened. Next!"

"What if I want to invite you?"

"The answer is a two letter word."

"Ok?"

"Okay has four letters."

"No, it has two."

"How did we get to this conversation?"

"I said that you were very visible."

"Oh, I see. And somehow we started talking about things that don't exist?"

"Ghosts do exist. But you're right."

"I am?"

"That we should get back to the matter at hand."

"What _is_ the matter at hand?"

"Well....why are you wearing a sombrero?"


	28. Chapter 28

Continuation of yesterday! The whole sombrero thing is a belated Cinco de Mayo celebration, by the way.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"-and the cultural significance of Latin America is extremely important to the rest of Europe, namely those countries that once played a major role in exploration. The advent of imperialism denotes a singular bond that is supported by years of historical trade, both in the language and-"

"Izumi."

"Yes~?"

"You've been waiting all day for a chance to say that, haven't you?"

"Maybe."

"So that's what you were doing in front of the mirror this morning."

"Uh huh. You know I would never monopolize the bathroom for anything but the most important of reasons."

"...I'm sure. But you're still not Mexican."

"Racist! Ra-cist!"

"..."

"I could be Mexican at heart, you never know!"

"What the heck - you know what - never mind. I give up on you."

"..."

"I saw that smile, Izumi."

"I wasn't trying to hide it."

"You're hopeless."

"It's the only reason I know how to put up with you."

"Because I'm just as bad, I know."

"Why not?"

"Why?"

"Is it any of your business?"

"Do you always answer questions with questions?"

"Isn't that the best way to answer them?"

"How is a question an answer?"

"Why can't it be?"

"Don't you think it gets old after a while?"

"You don't want to play the question game anymore?"

"Why do you want to play all the time?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I want to know."

"...Ha!"

"Damn it, I just lost, didn't I?"

"It's okay, Kouji. I'm feeling generous today!"

"Oh, god."

"You just have to wear the sombrero tomorrow."


	29. Chapter 29

I don't know where this came from. I don't know where a lot of these came from...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, s-stop it!"

"I had no idea you were so ticklish."

"Well...hahaha...well, you're going to make me sneeze!"

"Hmmm..."

"Stop, really! You're going to make me spill my soda."

"Wouldn't be that much of a loss."

"What's with you hating Dr. Pepper so much?"

"Every time I try to open a can, they explode on me."

"That's because you shake them."

"No, I don't."

"Or because your brother shakes them."

"That would explain a lot, but I buy soda straight from the vending  
machine."

"You're such a paranoid guy, Kouji. Dr. Pepper is NOT out to get you."

"You have no right to say that. You're part of the conspiracy."

"Hmph...hahahaha, I told you to stop!"

"Surrender the soda first."

"Never!"

"Fine. One, two, three, four, I declare a tickle war..."


	30. Chapter 30

I don't know what day it is anymore. I could check, but that would be...bothersome. Whatever.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Takuya's not here again?"

"Nope."

"Geez, what a lazy bastard."

"Agreed. We should have called him to make sure."

"Izumi, do you even know his number?"

"The landline, yeah. His mother loves me."

"...I bet."

"It looks like he's not coming."

"No, really?"

"Kouji, I could use a few minutes without any of your sarcasm."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"...Ugh. I guess we're going to the park alone today."

"What a guy."

"I know, right?"

"Haha. You know, people are going to think that we're dating again."

"Why, because we're alone together?"

"Oxymoron - but yeah."

"Heh. We wouldn't care about being alone if we were dating."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Let's unplug his alarm clock tomorrow."

"What-I was joking, Kouji!"

"Well, I'm not. Deal with it."

"Kouji! Put me down! I'm allergic to public displays of affection!"


	31. Chapter 31

Indeterminate Fantasy AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Make a wish, Kouji."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"What's the point?"

"Kouji, would you stop - "

"Like hell."

"Argh! You're...you're..."

"Why do you people make wishes all the time?"

"Because wishes are good for people."

"I don't have anything to wish for."

"As if! You should ask for happiness or something. Seeing as you're _never_ happy."

"And make the birthday wish fairy angry at me again?"

"That was a one-time deal, and she's retired now!"

"Doesn't heal the trauma."

"If this is you traumatized, I'd hate to see what you look like when you're healthy."

"...so what am I supposed to think when a fluorescent pink thing flies in my face and curses me out?"

"...Oh, Kouji. The new birthday fairy is pretty nice. You don't have to worry about it."

"If _you_ say she's nice, I'm better off running for the hills."

"...Kouji?"

"Yeah?"

"_I'm _the new birthday fairy."

"I know."

"You should start running now."

"Duly noted."


	32. Chapter 32

Canon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Is it morning already?"

"Depends on what you call morning."

"How long did you stay up, Izumi?"

"Til three. You?"

"...til now."

"Kouji..."

"No, it's fine. I've done worse."

"I know you have, that's the problem. Don't study too hard."

"I wasn't studying."

"...Don't play too hard."

"Videogames soothe the soul, Izumi."

"You have no soul."

"Wow, _thanks_."

"How do you live with yourself?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, violence doesn't feel _that_ good...does it?"

"I comfort myself by remembering that no matter what I do to the characters, your father wants to do worse things to me."


	33. Chapter 33

Untrained Counselor Izumi strikes back!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, I want you to wear a Mood-o-Meter."

"What? No."

"At least get a mood ring or something."

"Those things don't work, you know."

"You only say that because whenever you wear them, they go straight to _Depressed_. What if they're right, huh?"

"But they're not."

"Let's just say, hypothetically, that they are."

"...okay?"

"I'm going to read you some quotes, tell me if you relate to any of them."

"What are you, a psychiatrist?"

"Just listen. _Depressed individuals often blame themselves for negative events."_

"I only blame myself when it's actually my fault."

"Huh. Like when?"

"Like when I leave the keys in the car."

"...I don't think it's referring to that kind of negative event."

"What's it referring to, then?"

"Never mind. Next is..._They do not believe they can influence events or achieve personal goals."_

"...So I'm depressed because I don't think I can cause car accidents telepathically?"

"Don't take things so literally, Kouji."

"What's the point of listening, then?"

"UGH. _They have a lack of enthusiasm and motivation_."

"Am I supposed to feel enthusiastic in high school?"

"Are you capable of giving an answer without sarcasm?"

"Yes."

"..."

"...where did you get those quotes, Izumi?"

"Wikipedia."

"No comment."

"Well, that's a first. How about this, then: _Aggravates the heck out of everyone around him_."

"Is that also on Wikipedia?"

"It is now."


	34. Chapter 34

Nobility AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I'm taking your bishop."

"I have another one."

"Not for long."

"Oh, really...it's _my_ turn."

"Uh huh."

"There goes your queen."

"Sure. Check."

"I see that. You're trying to corner me."

"Well, it's working."

"Check for you, too."

"Ha."

"Hm?"

"Checkmate, Izumi."

"..."

"Well? I think you promised me something if I won a chess game against you. Pretty women ought to keep their promises."

"Fine. I'll marry you. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic."

"Hmph. Is this how you proposed to all of your wives?"

"What do you mean, _all_ of them?"

"But - your mother said - that you were already married?"

"I...No?"

"Eighteen years old and you're still unmarried?"

"I think I'm supposed to feel insulted..."

"I read that it's normal in your country to have more than one wife!"

"It is, but not at the same time!"


	35. Chapter 35

Coworkers AU. Oh, it's already the fifth week!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Three broken ribs, two stab wounds, and a concussion. You must have had a rough night."

"Don't forget the bruised ego."

"...So, Minamoto, what did you do last night?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"You pissed off the most dangerous man in the United States and you don't know _how_?"

"Is that a problem?"

"Er...yes?"

"Oh. Do you want me to try to remember?"

"Er...yes?"

"Okay. Can I have five minutes by myself to wrack my brain?"

"You'd use those five minutes to jump out the window."

"I'm not_ that_ suicidal."

"Actually, you are. Remember the diaphragm incident?"

"That was a fluke."

"A fluke that repeats itself every time you step foot outside, apparently."

"As long as I get the job done, it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Minamoto."

"If you're going to lecture me, let me get my headphones first."

"Are you allergic to being healthy or something?"

"Says the girl with a broken arm."

"A broken arm is nothing compared to what you have right now."

"I heal faster than you do."

"But I'll be back at work faster."

"That's because you work at a desk job. How did you even break your arm? Did you fall down the stairs or something?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. We've only got elevators in the Technology Building, remember?"

"Wow, you managed to fall down the stairs...on an elevator. That takes skill."


	36. Chapter 36

Canon future!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So, Kouji, I'm guessing that the flooding in the streets isn't a good sign. What does your trusty Buddha statue say?"

"I didn't bring it, so I wouldn't know."

"Never mind, then."

"Why do you always bring that Buddha statue up? It's not like I pray to it every morning or anything."

"No, you just pray to it every _night_."

"It's called meditation."

"Or ignoring your spouse-to-be."

"Hmph. Just leave me to my thinking time and I'll leave you to your computer time."

"Ugh, this is going nowhere. Are you done fencing us in yet?"

"Yep. The room's as rain-proof as it's going to get."

"I guess it's just up to the storm, then."

"You know...a sane person would have given up trying to beat Mother Nature by now. What does that say about me?"

"That you're a maniacal masochist?"

"You might be right."

"I don't want to be right."

"Well, right or wrong, there's still a hurricane outside."

"And it's a hurricane on our honeymoon."

"Right."

"...I hope this isn't some kind of foreshadowing, Kouji."

"Depends. What kind of foreshadowing are you talking about?"

"The matrimonial kind."

"Relax. You shouldn't worry so much. Right now, we're more likely to die than divorce."


	37. Chapter 37

Random antagonism.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So."

"So."

"Why are you sitting at the dinner table with a bottle of wine, Bane-of-my-existence?"

"Efficiency."

"...what?"

"I might as well get an early start on the headache that I'm going to have in a few minutes."

"What headache?"

"The kind that comes from talking to annoying girls."

"Sorry to disappoint, but that's not going to happen today."

"It isn't?"

"Of course not."

"Does that mean you're going to be a nice, quiet, obedient girl today? I hear the apocalypse approaching."

"Oh no, no, no. It means that you're going to get a different kind of headache."

"Oh?"

"Because I'm going to punch you in the face."


	38. Chapter 38

Undercover AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, where's my hat?"

"I already burned it."

"Oh, thanks."

"No problem. What about these books?"

"Do _you_ want them?"

"I can't read Greek, Kouji."

"Exactly."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Think for a minute. If I can't bring them with me, and you can't read them, why on earth would we want to keep them?"

"I'm not burning any books, Kouji."

"I mean selling them, not burning them."

"Oh. Okay then."

"Izumi?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you ready to blow the house up?"

"Pretty much. Are you going to leave now?"

"Yes."

"I know I'm going to regret saying this, but I'll miss you."

"Wow. I feel so flattered...and to think you couldn't stand the sight of me for the first year or so!"

"Oh, lovely. I already regret saying it."

"Izumi?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you quitting?"

"I'm not. I finished up the job, that's all."

"So why won't you take up another one?"

"I'll be busy with my little sister."

"...Seriously, Izumi...not even _I_ can compare to the level of evilness in that girl. Why don't you stay with someone who's actually halfway sane?"

"You're _not_ halfway sane."

"Okay, a quarter then."

"I'll give you that much, but the answer is still no. Here's your rubber band, by the way."

"Speaking of which, have you seen my - "

"Socks are in the dryer. T-shirts are on the counter. There are boots at the front door. Your scar makeup is hidden in the backseat of your car. Most of your formal clothing has been donated or given to your brother because both of you are _such _cheapskates and can't stand to throw anything away - "

"Thanks for the compliment, and I'll be sure to pass it along to Kouichi."

"...Alright."

"And I was actually asking about the glasses."

"The fake ones or the real ones?"

"Both."

"The real ones are in your suitcase."

"What about the fake ones?"

"...Kouji?"

"Yes?"

"They're on your forehead."


	39. Chapter 39

Canon. Just so you guys know, I'm in the middle of a really busy time, so AYDSTU isn't going to be updating until Pure Coincidence is over. Which it will be....Soon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"If you could pick one person to spend the rest of your life with, who would you pick and why?"

"Anyone?"

"Sure."

"Amasterasu."

"Kouji, I don't think that goddesses count."

"Why not?"

"Because this is for our English assignment."

"Fine. Buddha."

"...Why would you want to spend forever with _Buddha_?"

"Oh, you have a point...but I don't think I know anyone else who's immortal."

"Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with an immortal?"

"Why else? They'd never die on me."

"Kouji, look at the question."

"I'm looking."

"Maybe, but you're not _thinking_."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know!"

"I don't either."

"Ugh. Who do you _really_ want to spend the rest of your life with?"

"...Lobomon."

"...Oh."

"Yeah, kind of stupid of me...Sometimes I just miss him. And the Digital World in general."

"I do, too."

"You miss Lobomon?"

"No! I miss _Kazemon!_"

"Oh. You should have been more specific."

"...Hey, Kouji."

"Yeah?"

"If I write about the Digital World in my essay, do you think she'll take off points?"

"Izumi, this is a nonfiction essay."

"Exactly!"

"If you write about the Digital World, I'll come visit you."

"What do you mean?"

"When they put you in the insane asylum, of course."


	40. Chapter 40

Canon. Just so you guys know, I'm in the middle of a really busy time, so AYDSTU isn't going to be updating until Pure Coincidence is over. Which it will be....Soon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Oh, she shouldn't have gotten together with him. The other guy was better."

"I don't know. I think she belongs with this one."

"Kouji, that's because you don't like her."

"I can't help it. She reminds me of Kouichi."

"...that's kind of creepy."

"What is?"

"That a girl who always wears a bikini reminds you of your brother."

"...I don't get it."

"Kouji. Think. You see a girl with a bikini. You think of Kouichi. Isn't there something wrong with this picture?"

"...Oh, hell."

"Yeah."

"That's just sick. I think my eardrums are bleeding."

"No, they're not. I checked."


	41. Chapter 41

Canon. Just so you guys know, I'm in the middle of a really busy time, so AYDSTU isn't going to be updating until Pure Coincidence is over. Which it will be...Soon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, I have decided once and for all..."

"Decided what?"

"That I absolutely hate school."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

"So what was the final straw? The endless essays or the random grading system?"

"Neither. Guess."

"I already guessed twice, idiot."

"Guess again."

"No."

"Fine. I'll give you a hint."

"Uh huh?"

"I see the reason every single day."

"...your reflection?"

"You know, Izumi, I don't look in the mirror every single day..."

"Really?"

"Really."

"...what about your brother?"

"...How about this. I'm _standing_ in front of the reason right now."

"...Me?"

"No, your glasses."

"I don't wear glasses."

"...that was sarcasm."

"You still haven't explained why you hate school because of me."

"Angry ex-girlfriends."

"Which one?"

"The one that used to be your best friend."

"Again...which one?"

"...Shiori."

"You remember her name. Oh my god."

"I remember because she sent me sixteen love letters today, all signed in nice calligraphy."

"Did you throw them away?"

"Only after analyzing how she made the characters so elegant."

"...right. So why is this my fault?"

"Because you set me up with her."

"But she was my best friend. Why wouldn't I?"

"She was scary, Izumi. Very scary."

"So why did you go out with her for two months?"

"Because she was your friend."

"Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_."

"I'm sorry."

"I might forgive you if you do _one_ favor for me."

"Which is?"

"Copy these love letters onto non-perfumed paper so that I can trace over them without sneezing."

"...Kouji, you're really serious about this handwriting improvement thing, aren't you?"


	42. Chapter 42

Canon. Just so you guys know, I'm in the middle of a really busy time, so AYDSTU isn't going to be updating until Pure Coincidence is over. Which it will be...Soon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji?"

"Uh huh?"

"Kiss me."

"...Okay."

"...the cheek doesn't count."

"You should have specified."

"_You_ should have assumed."

"You should have accepted when I asked you out to prom."

"And you...you should have checked to make sure I wasn't already going with anyone else."

"You could have ditched them."

"Kouji?"

"Uh huh?"

"It's still your fault."

"Why's that?"

"Because you're such a wallflower and then you get mad at me because I'm not."

"Wallflowers are women, Izumi."

"Close enough."


	43. Chapter 43

Canon. Just so you guys know, I'm in the middle of a really busy time, so AYDSTU isn't going to be updating until Pure Coincidence is over. Which it will be...Soon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Once upon a time..."

"How can something be _upon_ time? It's an abstract concept - there's no way to get on top of time."

"It's an idiom, Kouji. Idioms don't have to be logical."

"Fine. Go on."

"There was a beautiful princess."

"Like always."

"Er, yeah. Like always. This particular princess - "

"Who apparently has no name..."

"Would you stop interrupting me?"

"No. It's fun."

"Not for me."

"Who cares about you?"

"I could say the same for you."

"But you don't, Izumi."

"I just did."

"So you did."

"Could we get back to the story now?"

"Izumi, I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but it only helps to read a bedtime story if the listener is less than six years old."

"That's it. I'm hanging up now. Deal with your insomnia on your own, bastard."

"No good-night kiss?"

"No."

"Fine. See you tomorrow."

"Unless you oversleep."

"That's...not happening."

"Oh, I know."

"...quit rubbing it in."


	44. Chapter 44

Canon. Pure Coincidence will update this weekend, I swear! ...I think.

Actually, there's only two chapters and an epilogue left.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"It smells like something rotten."

"That's just the fertilizer."

"I know."

"...Could you pass me the fertilizer box?"

"Kouji, you are _not_ reading the ingredients to me. You've already scarred me for life by explaining what's in macaroni and cheese. Ruined it for me, completely!"

"Ignorance is not bliss, though...at least, not for your health."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Could we get back to the garden?"

"Fine."

"...Hey, Kouji."

"Uh huh?"

"If I plant a seed today, do you think that we'll find a tree here in twenty years?"

"Not if we plant tomatoes."

"God damn it, Kouji. You've reached your daily quota for sarcastic comments...Happy now?"

"Very."


	45. Chapter 45

Canon. Pure Coincidence will update this weekend, I swear! ...I think.

Actually, there's only two chapters and an epilogue left.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji?"

"Uh huh?"

"What do you think would happen if I tried to scan water?"

"Scan water? You mean, with a scanner?"

"Uh huh."

"...You mean, with _my_ scanner?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, first, I'd have to kill you for touching my things."

"What about after that?"

"I'd bring you back to life so you could pay for a new scanner."

"Oh. So, I guess it doesn't work."

"Well, water does very bad things to expensive equipment."

"I'm guessing that you know this from experience."

"Maybe."

"...What did you do?"

"...Remember the time we ran out of honey after only two weeks?"

"What on _earth_ were you planning to do with a scanned picture of _honey_?"

"...I'm an artist. Planning is a dirty word."

"...Right."


	46. Chapter 46

Pure Coincidence is updated, full of typos. [sigh]

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"...Damn it!"

"What the hell - Izumi, don't scare me like that! You're going to give me a heart attack someday."

"I don't really care right now. Too busy pondering the meaning of life. Go away."

"...What do you mean, the meaning of life?"

"Exactly what I said."

"Izumi, I think you're the first ever person to start _cursing_ about the meaning of life. Not that I'm surprised - "

"Kouji, please don't finish that sentence."

"I won't, but..."

"What?"

"You need to explain to me from the _beginning_ what you're so upset about. Okay?"

"..."

"...Okay?"

"...It's not fair."

"What isn't?"

"Kissing me."

"...am I not supposed to?"

"Not when I'm mad. Kisses makes me not-mad. Being not-mad is a bad thing when I want to be mad."

"Oh, and here I was thinking that it was a _good_ thing not to be mad...my bad."

"...Sorry. I'm just in a horrible mood right now."

"I kind of figured. What's wrong?"

"Life."

"I see that. Why?"

"Um."

"...You're blushing. My god. I've _never_ seen you blush before."

"..."

"Never mind. I don't want to know what your problem is."

"You're such a good boyfriend."

"Hey, don't talk to me. Talk to the bottle."

"What am I supposed to do with you if you won't let me talk?"

"..."

"...Oh. Okay."

"No talking."

"Right."


	47. Chapter 47

Somewhat alternative to yesterday's.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Life is...six years of freedom, then many more of slave labor."

"...Okay, that's number seventeen. How many of these are you going to get?"

"As many as my brain can come up with, I guess. Oh, here's another: Life is birth, death, and maturity, in that order."

"You have such an optimistic view of life."

"Well, what did you expect?"

"I don't know."

"Which basically means that you don't want to admit that I'm right. Again."

"What do you mean, _again_? That's the first time you've been right all year, you know."

"I'm pretty sure that's an exaggeration."

"Prove it."

"Don't tempt me...Hey, Izumi?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I've finally run out of ideas."

"Okay. I'll figure out three more by myself then."

"What kind of professor would ask you for twenty statements about life?"

"Uh...well..."

"...Izumi, this isn't a school assignment, is it?"

"No, it's a challenge from your fangirls."

"...seriously?"

"Seriously."

"What kind of challenge? And why the hell did you accept?"

"Well, they asked me for twenty good reasons not to chase after you."

"...Good god."

"So, I'm compiling a list of things that show how clinically depressed you are. I figure that should be enough."


	48. Chapter 48

Canon verse

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Kouji."

"Izumi."

"It's official."

"So it is."

"Boys are stupid."

"So are girls."

"Both."

"Neither."

"Contradiction."

"Paradox."

"Do _you_ want kids, Kouji?"

"I don't think so. Not anymore. Not after that sex ed class. What about you?"

"Only daughters."

"Sexist."

"Honest."

"That's lovely. What are you going to do with the sons?"

"Divorce my husband and leave the boys with him."


	49. Chapter 49

I have to say, I'm frustrated with the Digimon fandom right now. Sometimes, I feel like only a few good authors are posting non-yaoi, and _nobody_'s reading non-yaoi. And even a lot of the yaoi is so...so...OOC...It's probably just me getting into my annual depression, but...I don't see anything that convinces me otherwise.

This is not canon. This is breaking the fourth wall.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"So, Izumi, I'm curious. Why do you have a Japanese name?"

"I have no idea. I'm supposed to be Italian, so I guess that means my father was Japanese or something..."

"You guess? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, the series never expanded on my home life...you and Kouichi just got lucky."

"As lucky as a pair of twins who were separated at birth can get, anyways."

"Hey, at least you _have _parents. The rest of us were spontaneously generated!"

"Hey, at least _you_ have ethnic diversity."

"That's true. I do love Italy."

"Then why do you speak such pathetic Italian in the series?"

"I don't know, blame the voice actress!"

"But blaming you is so much more fun."

"You have no life."

"Technically, that's true. I live in a television. That's not much of a life."


	50. Chapter 50

50 chapters! I'm very excited.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"...So what's on the menu?"

"Shhh! You're supposed to wait until I ask you if you're ready!"

"..."

"Hello, are you ready to order?"

"...I'm not going to repeat my question."

"Fine, be that way."

"You're a horrible waitress."

"Excuse me?"

"Where's your manager?"

"I _am_ the manager."

"That's not in the script."

"Screw the script. I demand a rewrite."

"_You_ wrote it."

"Which means I can rewrite it any time I want."

"Why. Why. _Why_ am I doing a movie project with you?"

"Because I'm the only person in the class who doesn't want to kill you. Including the teacher."

"..."

"And if you worked with someone else, they would do a horror movie and accidentally make it real."

"...so making me want to kill _you_ is so much better?"

"...You're right, Kouji! This is unjust!"

"Exactly!"

"This is _sexism_!"

"...Not exactly."


	51. Chapter 51

Summer is finally here!

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"I hate doing the dishes so much."

"...Okay."

"Well?"

"_I'm_ not doing them. I have homework, Izumi."

"So do I. Yet I'm still doing the washing, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are."

"...Well?"

"I don't get your point."

"Stop playing dumb!"

"...Was that an expensive vase?"

"I don't know."

"I think it was."

"Does it matter?"

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch tonight, Izumi?"

"..._Yes_."

"Okay."

"..."

"You look very red. Do you have a fever?"

"No. Don't touch me."

"Fine."

"..."

"...Now you look a little purple."

"Oh for crying out loud! We're going to buy a washing machine. Let's go."

"What?"

"Come on."

"...I don't understand women."


	52. Chapter 52

Summer is finally here!

And now we finally return to AU.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Um...hello?"

"Good afternoon. We're closed for today. Come back tomorrow. Good bye."

"Hey, wait! Geez, you're pretty rude for a shopkeeper."

"I'm the shopkeeper's son, actually."

"Same thing?"

"Well...I don't have stress lines."

"...Yes you do."

"Those are frown lines."

"But you're too young to have frown lines. And frowning is caused by stress, so frown lines are technically stress lines."

"Do you have a reason to be here or are you just trying to be as bothersome as possible?"

"Both. Do you have any rockets left over?"

"...We sell rockets?"

"...Yes?"

"...Oh. No wonder my father got sued so much."

"You didn't know?"

"No, obviously. Little girl, have you ever seen me before?"

"I am not little! And no, of course not. I would have recognized you, you know."

"My father decided to sell his business."

"...Oh. So why are you here if he sold it already?"

"He sold it to my friend, who is hopeless at selling things."

"Okay. Wait, does that mean I'm going to see more of you if I want to buy rockets?"

"First off, why do you need rockets? They're bigger than you are."

"I am not little!"

"Yes, you are. And yes, you're going to see more of me."

"Damn. I'm going to get my vandalism supplies somewhere else, then."

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that and offer you a discount."

"...I love you."

"Love's not cheap. Specifically, it costs $12.95. Then I'll send you three rockets because I feel guilty about taking your money."

"...three rockets for $12.95?"

"Yes."

"I love you. And I was kidding about the vandalism, by the way."

"That's okay. I was kidding about feeling guilty."


	53. Chapter 53

It's a beautiful day~

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"I was surprised."

"...by what?"

"By the fact that my cats didn't bite you."

"Well, that's because they have better judgment than their owner."

"Or it might be because you didn't bitch at them, Minamoto."

"I didn't bitch at _you_ either."

"..."

"...I didn't."

"I think that you've got a serious, chronic case of denial."

"Either that or _you've_ got a serious case of paranoia."

"I am not paranoid."

"_I_ am not in denial."

"Stop copying my syntax."

"...Orimoto, you are now officially the first person I've ever heard use the word 'syntax' in a completely normal conversation."

"Wonderful. What was the point of telling me that?"

"I have no idea."

"...Minamoto, can we get back to the original topic?"

"Which was?"

"You being in denial."

"I am not."

"You are a bastard and you refuse to admit it. That's denial right there."

"Where the hell did the quiet girl in class go?"

"That's just a fake personality. It makes my mother happy, but that's about it."

"Oh."

"Want to go home yet?"

"No. I have to put up with you for two more hours. Otherwise my stepmother's going to be upset. She wants me to socialize more."

"..."

"...Got cards?"

"Only the kind from birthdays."

"...Can we just sit here and argue then?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."


	54. Chapter 54

It's a beautiful day~

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Izumi, are you still mad at me?"

"No, of course not. Why do you ask...?"

"Because you don't look very...er..._happy_."

"Oh."

"...Okay, that's it. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What? I'm smiling, aren't I?"

"Izumi, if that's considered a smile, then my sense of emotional empathy must be even worse than my _psychologist_ thinks it is."

"...damn it, why do you always have to be smart at the wrong time?"

"I'm going to consider that a compliment. So, what's wrong?"

"Mother doesn't like you."

"I already knew that."

"No, I mean, she _really_ doesn't like you."

"Again...I already knew - "

"Kouji, she wants to kill you and smother you in your sleep."

"...Oh. That bad?"

"Yes, that bad."

"What did I do?"

"Apparently, you insulted her cooking."

"...But...it wasn't my fault that she used too much pepper?"

"I know it wasn't. She's just upset because you're taking away her baby girl."

"You're a baby? Scratch that. She's actually attached to you?"

"Apparently."

"Oh."

"No need to look so doubtful, Kouji. It's kind of insulting."

"Sorry. I'm just kind of in shock. I've never had a girlfriend's mother hate me _this_ much before."

"I highly doubt that you would still be here if you did."

"...are you sure that it's that bad?"

"Yes."

"I guess we're going to be avoiding family reunions in the future, then..."

"Of course. Otherwise we're going to have a very, _very_ short engagement. Not necessarily ended by marriage, either."


	55. Chapter 55

I am dead tired. Dead. Tired. It was work, don't ask.

Featuring Izumi the Master of Logic. And Kouji the Master of Pessimism.

* * *

DAILY CONVERSATIONS

* * *

"Oww."

"What is it now, girl?"

"I think that my leg has freezer burn."

"...Freezer burn only applies to _food_."

"So? Polar bears, remember?"

"Oh, for crying out loud...what is with your fear of being killed by polar bears?"

"Excuse _me_ if I don't like big animals that are capable of crushing me with one paw!"

"That's an exaggeration."

"..."

"...Wait, actually, you _are_ that small."

"...Thanks."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"That was sarcasm. How did you make it past high school without learning about sarcasm?"

"How did _you _make it past high school without learning that polar bears are not man-hunting machines?"

"I was homeschooled, actually."

"...Well, damn."

"Yeah."

"That explains so much. Were you the resident rich girl or something?"

"Er...Well...my adopted mother had chronic fears of me turning out like my birth mother."

"Teenage pregnancy?"

"Yeah."

"So, instead of getting pregnant at age 17, you volunteered to be part of a science experiment in the Arctic. Forgive me if your logic doesn't quite make sense."

"They're paying me. Of course it makes sense."


	56. Chapter 56

Continuation of the last drabble some time later.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Want to trade?"

"I thought you said that you didn't do the whole cooperation thing."

"This isn't cooperation. This is survival. I'm going to starve if they keep giving me pasta, Blondie."

"...I'm going to ignore that nickname and focus on how good it feels to eat pasta again."

"You really are a stereotypical Italian girl, aren't you?"

"Mmmhmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmm."

"No, I don't like cauliflower that much either. But it's better than pasta."

"Mmm? Mmmm mmmm."

"Because I have to. Beggars can't be choosers."

"Mmmm mmm mmmm?"

"My favorite food is ice cream, actually."

"..."

"..."

"...Mmph...that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, Kouji."

"Why?"

"I would have thought that living in the Arctic would make you not want to eat cold things anymore. Kind of like how parents with hyper kids don't want to give them any more candy."

"...Again, your logic...it makes my head hurt."

"Don't be a drama king."

"...There's something wrong with that sentence..."

"But Kouji, you _are_ a drama king."

"...Just eat your pasta."

"In a bit. Have you figured out what they're going to do with us yet?"

"Well, first, they're going to lull us into a sense of security by giving us free food. Then they're going to murder us all and say it was an accident."

"A _serious _answer would be nice, Kouji."

"Well, I'm not nice, so that'll do for now."

"Aren't you going to eat your cauliflower?"

"I am."

"Playing with your food is not eating, Kouji."

"..."

"Neither is chewing without swallowing. There you go. That's better. You're going to look like a stick if you don't eat enough."

"Good god. If they _are_ trying to kill us, they're doing a pretty good job of it."

"It's completely your fault that you aren't eating enough, though."

"Details, details."


	57. Chapter 57

Phoenix Kouji reappears! To no one's great surprise.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Ugh. Why do you hate me so much?"

"Why, Kouji, you're back early! And what kind of greeting is that?"

"More importantly, why did you sent me to an erupting volcano on a remote island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean without any way to get _off_, all to get a chunk of _rock_?"

"Because I needed it to be fresh."

"...You needed the rock to be _fresh_."

"Yes. Of course. Young rock is much nicer for Potions."

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand. Get me a towel."

"But I just washed them!"

"Towel. Please."

"Oh, fine. How exactly did you get barnacles stuck to your skin...?"

"Pacific Ocean."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

"I get the feeling you're not too happy with me."

"I wonder why."

"Well...don't you feel better knowing that you can support a mini-ecosystem?"

"_No_. I would prefer to stay nice and dry in my bed, thank you very much."

"Oh."

"Did you not realize that lava is actually _painful_ to touch?"

"You've never complained before."

"That's because I figured that you would already understand!"

"Oh..."

"...I'm getting a divorce."

"Eh? But - we're not married!"

"Well, no, but it's such a mouthful to say that I'm going to appeal the contract in front of the witch elder council in hopes that someone will take pity on me and annul the stupid thing. It's much easier to say that I'm getting a divorce."


	58. Chapter 58

The battle of the sexes begins in three...two...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"That's definitely blue."

"No, no, there's too much red for a true blue. I say purple."

"That's _blue_, Izumi."

"Is it just me or does it look a little green now?"

"Izumi, green is a sign of tornadoes. I don't think that we're going to have a tornado on a perfectly still day."

"But it is! I can see the green, I swear!"

"No, you can't. You're just imagining it."

"No, I'm not!"

"You know what? Women should never be meteorologists. They can't accept _not_ being right!"

"What the - fine! Men should never be doctors! They don't know when to admit that something's _wrong_!"

"Women should never be pilots, either! They'd end up in the Bahamas on a trip to China!"

"What's wrong with the Bahamas?"

"It's not China."

"Er...Okay. Personally don't see a problem with going to the Bahamas instead of China, but that's my personal opinion."

"Um...alright. Weren't we arguing approximately two seconds ago, Izumi?"

"Yes, we were."

"So...why exactly did we stop?"

"Because I see no reason to argue with you about going to the Bahamas."

"But that wasn't the point - ah, fuck it. You win."

"Win what?"


	59. Chapter 59

In which both characters regress. And digress.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Wait, Kouji, I thought you said you weren't hungry."

"I'm not."

"So why are you in the lunch line?"

"Because I need to fetch food for my twin brother."

"Why...why would Kouichi eat six cinnamon rolls? He doesn't like sugar."

"..."

"Well?"

"Shut up."

"Aw, does the itsy bitsy little brother like cinnamon rolls? That's so cute."

"Shut. Up. Izumi."

"Make me."

"What are you, in kindergarten?"

"Hey, that's mean."

"Got a problem with it? I'll prove it to you."

"Wha - hey! No cutting in line!"

"..."

"..."

"Kouji: 1. Izumi: 0."

"I don't like you anymore."

"Right. Sure. What if I gave you a cinnamon roll?"

"You cannot bribe me with sweets! I will ward off your evil spirit of meanness!"

"Technically, it's my brother who has the evil spirit."

"Fine. Evil personality, then."

"Hell-o, he nearly _killed_ me a few times. If that's not an evil personality..."

"But killing you doesn't count as an evil deed."

"Wow, _thanks_. I feel so happy knowing that one of my best friends wants to kill me."

"I don't want to kill you, Kouji! I just think that it might be good for society, that's all."

"Again. Such a good friend."

"It's not a matter of friendship. It's a matter of sleeping well at night. Do you know how many times Kouichi's called me in the middle of the night to complain about you?"

"Kouichi. Calls. You. In. The. Middle. Of. The. Night?"

"Um, Kouji? I don't think that cinnamon buns taste good when they're squeezed like that..."


	60. Chapter 60

In which both characters regress. And digress.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why, why. Oh why..."

"Kouji, I don't think that the sky is going to respond to your complaining."

"I don't care. I just need to vent."

"Oh, for...Kouji, it's all your fault to begin with, so why are you wasting your time complaining?"

"Because I didn't ask for my father to assault the principal for threatening me!"

"He's not _assaulting_ the principal. I'm sure of it!"

"You don't know him."

"But I'm sure that he's not...assaulting...the...I mean...he's _your_ father..."

"..."

"...ooh. Good point."

"You were saying?"

"But if he is, he's doing it for your own good, Kouji!"

"..."

"I think."


	61. Chapter 61

Kouji decides to try his hand at literature. Mainstream literature.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

Roses are red

Except when they're not

They turn brown

And die and rot

Some are pinkish

Some are blue

Some are yellow

(Just like you)

I hate roses,

Really, I do.

So why the hell

Do I like you?

To tell the truth,

I have no clue...


	62. Chapter 62

Izumi responds.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

I suck at poetry

But so do you.

We fought like cats

Last time we spoke.

Your valentine,

Was it a joke?

It's not nice

To hide a smirk

Can't believe

You're such a jerk!

PS. Ask me out...

It just might work.


	63. Chapter 63

The end of the world is upon us!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I just realized. I'm never going to see you again."

"There will always be reunions, Izumi."

"But it won't be the same. I won't need to argue with you for hours to find out if there was a pop quiz in physics or not - and there won't be lunch table territory to fight over - and I won't be able to rant about horrible food with you anymore!"

"Izumi..."

"And I won't have a study partner after hours, either..."

"Izumi..."

"Or someone to smash open my locker for me..."

"Izumi...is that seriously all you're going to remember me for?"

"What are you talking about? It meant a lot to me!"

"You're not going to think of how we played every single Final Fantasy game together from start to end?"

"Oh. That too."

"Oh? _Oh?_ That deserves a lot more than a mere _Oh!_ ...Damn it, I'm sorry. Don't cry, okay?"

"..."

"C'mon. No tears. You promised."

"But...I'm going to miss you."

"I know."

"You're such a smartass. Where am I going to find a friend like you when I'm off to college?"

"The phone."


	64. Chapter 64

So what happened?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, today I realized that you would make a bad mugger."

"...I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that."

"No, I'm serious."

"Izumi. You have just been through a traumatizing experience. Sit down and rest."

"But I want you to listen. It was an epiphany!"

"Later."

"Please? It doesn't even hurt anymore. Seriously."

"You must have hit your head even harder than I thought."

"I'm sorry."

"...not your fault."

"Okay."

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Less than five."

"...Could you please be serious?"

"Oh! Less than ten! I forgot that you have two hands."

"...That's it. I'm taking you to the doctor's."

"But Kouji...the doctor wears white. White hurts my eyes. Can't you see the _halos_?"

"Fuck. Where's your phone?"

"It's in the phone charger, of course."

"That doesn't help me at all!"

"Why are you so worried? There's no light at the end of the tunnel yet...I mean, I'm not supposed to die until that happens, right?"

"Izumi. Where. Is. Your. Phone?"


	65. Chapter 65

Extended metaphors for the win. Exactly 300 more days to go, are you ready?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I wish humans were like chickens. They wouldn't even need a high school diploma to do their jobs."

"But Izumi...you're female. Which would make you a hen."

"So?"

"Do you really want to go through labor daily?"

"...normal chickens don't lay eggs that often, do they?"

"What do you mean, normal?"

"Non-domesticated ones."

"But non-domesticated ones don't have jobs. They live in the wild."

"Exactly! They survive without all this commercial stuff. Why can't we?"

"Because it's a lot more convenient to buy eggs from the grocery store. Speaking of which...scrambled, poached, or boiled?"

"Scrambled. Don't forget the salt."

"Of course not. Iodized or normal?"

"Um...does it matter?"

"Nutritionally, yes."

"Oh, fine. Just use the normal kind."

"Olive oil, butter, or vegetable oil?"

"Does it matter?"

"Probably not."

"Kouji, why the hell do you have to be so specific?"

"Because I don't want to give you any reason to complain."

"Well, firstly, I'm very creative. Secondly, we can't exactly afford high quality food to begin with. Trust me, I'll find something."

"Probably. Whoa - "

"Watch it!"

"You...you just threw yourself onto the ground to catch an _egg_. I applaud your maternal instinct, Mrs. Hen."

"Oh, shut up."


	66. Chapter 66

Embarking on a journey...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Are you sure we're on the right boat?"

"No, but there aren't any others, so it's not like we had a choice."

"...Comforting."

"Isn't it?"

"Izumi, why exactly are we using a sailboat to get out of Hell?"

"...You're right. There's no wind down here, so sails are just useless weight. We should take them off."

"That's not the point, Izumi. Why are we using a boat at all?"

"Because there's a river."

"But why can't we just fly?"

"Because there's a harpy in the air."

"..."

"..."

"I could have sworn that it wasn't there a minute ago."

"That's because it wasn't."

"Izumi?"

"Yes?"

"Why couldn't we get a motorboat, at least?"

"Because Heaven has a monopoly on technology."

"You could have used your messenger license to bend the rules...and get us a motorboat."

"Actually, I couldn't have. You see, Hell has an embargo on Heaven and refuses to let any of its over-commercialized merchandise in. They are, however, perfectly okay with entertaining Heaven's messengers for a while."

"How hypocritical. They don't pay me enough to deal with Hell."

"Why's that? The devils don't flatter you enough at the parties?"

"...God, they don't pay me enough to deal with _you_."

"Well, what do you expect? I'm priceless."


	67. Chapter 67

Remember...fashion is what you make of it.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, come help me with this zipper. God, I hate putting this dress on."

"Mm-hmm...You always trip in it."

"Okay. I'm going to boycott walking for the rest of the day."

"How are you going to move around, then?"

"You can carry me. Please?"

"No."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Do you need help with your tie?"

"Burning it, yes."

"Kouji! You promised not to do that. It's only for tonight!"

"I promised formal wear. Ties are not formal wear. They are gallows wear."

"Kouji, we've been through this. You can't hang someone with a _tie_."

"Yes, you can."

"Kouji, ties aren't exactly made to support the weight of a person. _You can't hang someone with a tie_."

"That's what they all say."

"...They all? Who exactly have you been talking to about your tie phobia?"

"Che - Izumi, stop tightening it! I can't breathe!"

"If you can talk, you can breathe. Just wear it for me, please?"

"Oh, fine."

"See, that's better. How is this?"

"...Huh. I have to admit, Izumi, you know how to tie these things without suffocating me - something that my own mother has yet to learn."

"Oh...really? Wow. I just cured your tie phobia! Go me."

"Yes, you cured my tie phobia. You're also going to make us late."

"Hang on. Go away. I need to immortalize this moment forever...on my Facebook wall."


	68. Chapter 68

Sarcasm - it's not good when people can't tell.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why are you hogging the computer so much today, Kouji?"

"I'm trying to figure out whether or not you need to call Poison Control if you swallow too much pool water."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"...who are you planning to drown today? Because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't care otherwise."

"It's not for today. I need to find out by next week so I can throw you in the pool without worrying about your health."

"Oh okay - wait, what?"

"I was kidding, Izumi."

"Oh. Well, make it more obvious next time."

"It _was_ obvious. I hate pools more than you do. Why on earth would I throw you into one?"

"Because misery loves company?"

"True, but I don't."

"...Oh. That's right. You like to wallow in self-pity all by your lonesome self."

"Exactly."

"...Kouji, I was kidding."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, make it more obvious next time."


	69. Chapter 69

Timing is _everything_.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji."

"..."

"Hey, wake up. It's me."

"...zumi?"

"Oh, wow, you sound horrible. Here, drink this."

"M'not thirsty."

"Yes, you are. It's just that you don't realize it."

"...at?"

"The drugs, Kouji. The drugs are messing with your body. Trust me, you need this water."

"Dun want any."

"Kouji? Kouji. _Kouji_. If you don't drink this, your throat is going to _kill_ you later."

"Don't care."

"Yeah, neither does your nurse, apparently. Where _is _she? I thought nurses were supposed to...well, nurse."

"How...was it?"

"The surgery, you mean?"

"What? No...I'm talking about soccer."

"...This is so surreal. You're all drugged up after ear surgery and the first thing you ask is how the World Cup is going?"

"Well?"

"You're absolutely hopeless. Argentina just beat Greece, 2-0."

"I _missed it_?"

"Oops. I shouldn't have mentioned that, huh?"

"...Ugh. Just go ahead and give me spoilers. I'm probably not going to remember any of it anyway...Stupid drugs."

"Don't worry. I ran home and taped the match while you were in the operating room."

"...God, I think I love you."

"I don't accept confessions from people in drug-induced trances, Kouji. Try again later."


	70. Chapter 70

Priorities? What are those?

Normalcy? What is that?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hello?"

"..."

"Oh, for crying out loud! Give me some signal, you stupid phone."

"..."

"Please."

"..."

"..._score_."

"Hello? I'm in the middle of a meeting right now, so can you-"

"Hey, Izumi. I just had the most amazing girl walk into the store."

"...Kouji, I think that you're calling the wrong person if you want to talk about girls."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...you know what...forget it. What amazing girl?"

"Well, you know how we have signs all over the store?"

"Signs? Like at the cash register?"

"Yeah."

"Um, sure. Who doesn't?"

"That's not the point. You've seen them before, right?"

"How does this relate to the girl?"

"I was getting to that."

"Yes, well, _I _was in the middle of a meeting, so if you don't mind..."

"Shush. I'm on a roll here. She taped an enormous marshmallow on every single letter O without anybody realizing it. They were _delicious_. All thirty six of them."

"...That's your definition of an amazing girl?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"


	71. Chapter 71

. 'Nuff said.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, let me have my laptop back for a minute."

"But I'm trying to get a high score..."

"On what?"

"On Solitaire."

"Oh, I see. And you couldn't possibly play Solitaire with _real_ cards."

"No way, the computer gives me an automatic timer. I don't want to use a stopwatch. I don't even know where my stopwatch is anymore."

"Fine. Who exactly are you trying to beat?"

"Myself."

"You're trying to beat...yourself?"

"Uh huh. Oh, for God's sake - dammit, I just lost again."

"Izumi?"

"Yes?"

"Normally, trying to beat yourself is considered a problem."

"...Kouji, has anyone ever told you that you have the strangest sense of humor ever?"

"Nope. Usually, people get to tell me that I have _no_ sense of humor."

"That's because you don't know how to deal with people."

"No, it's because I ignore the rest of humanity."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like it when people look at me."

"So? I look at you all the time."

"But I don't mind when you do it."

"Uh, Kouji, newsflash. I'm part of humanity."

"Sometimes I have doubts about that..."

"What? Why?"

"Well, your love of solitaire is seriously inhuman..."

"It is not!"

"But more importantly, so is your metabolism."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Why, yes I am, you're practically a balloon! You're so fat that you've actually reversed the evolutionary path of whales!"

"..."

"That was sarcasm, if you didn't realize."

"I noticed."

"Thank god, because if you get any skinnier you're going to disappear."


	72. Chapter 72

Random inspiration makes people do crazy things. By the way, this is the prelude to the poems posted earlier.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, I just realized...Valentine's day poetry is a lie."

"...I just got up ten minutes ago. Couldn't you wait a little longer before trying to be philosophical with me?"

"Okay."

"...Thanks."

"..."

"..."

"I waited. Can I say it now?"

"After this egg. You're really impatient today, aren't you?"

"Not really. More like I'm bored and have nothing else to do."

"There's laundry in the washing machine."

"Correction. Nothing _interesting_ to do."

"You're so demanding."

"More like I don't enjoy laundry. Like the great majority of teenage males."

"Except maybe the gay ones."

"We've already established that I'm not gay."

"You have a point there. Sadly."

"What do you mean _sadly_?"

"Never mind. I don't really want to know what you're getting at with the whole love poetry thing, but you're still going to tell me, aren't you?"

"Depends. Are you going to laugh at me?"

"Probably."

"Oh. Well, that's nothing new."

"I could say the same for you."

"True."

"Well, Kouji? What was _so_ important that you had to tell me twenty minutes after waking up?"

"Valentine's day poetry is a lie. Violets are not blue."


	73. Chapter 73

Some boyfriends know how to be romantic. Others, not so much.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So, Izumi...Why exactly are you in my house this late at night?"

"Trying to run from my mother."

"You're...running away from your mother?"

"Uh huh."

"But that's _my_ job."

"I'll be your coworker, then. Please treat me well and teach me all the ropes."

"Izumi, really. If you start living here, what am _I_ supposed to do?"

"Just go on with daily life. It's not like the apocalypse has come, you know."

"What if your mother decides to file kidnapping charges?"

"Is that a _serious question_?"

"Yes."

"What makes you think she would go to the police just because of something like this?"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't put it past her."

"But you don't even know her as well as I do!"

"Are you denying that she's insane?"

"...No..."

"Well, then."

"But I thought you never jumped to conclusions without proof. You always say that."

"I do have proof."

"Oh yeah?"

"Because insanity is genetic."


	74. Chapter 74

AU. Part 1.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...is there someone named Izumi here?"

"That would be me."

"Oh."

"Well? What do you need?"

"I was hired to be your bodyguard."

"By my father?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"I figured, but there are ways around that. Blink once if it was my father, twice if it wasn't."

"...You're a rather interesting girl."

"So I've been told. I might as well cut to the chase, sir. I don't need a bodyguard, and I'm guessing that you probably prefer to do something else with your time. Just ignore me, alright? It's a win-win situation - privacy for me, and free pay for you."

"With all due respect, ma'am, I refuse."

"With all due respect, sir...you're a bastard."

"Unfortunately, you're not the one paying me."

"What's your name?"

"Minamoto Kouji."

"That's too long. Can I just go back to calling you _sir_?"

"I don't think it matters. My job description doesn't include talking."

"Yes, well..._mine_ doesn't include being stalked for no good reason at all."


	75. Chapter 75

AU. Part 2.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Sir, please don't scare away my customers."

"I'm not. If I wanted to _scare_ them, then that bald man in the corner would be missing internal organs right now."

"Please, sir. I'm going to have to duct tape your mouth if you keep talking."

"Wouldn't that scare even more customers away?"

"I don't care. The lack of whimpering and simpering would be worth it. Do you have lasers in your eyes or something?"

"...or something."

"Hmph. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that your face is so scary."

"_My_ face is scary?"

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing."

"For the sake of not wanting to smash your face into the floor...I'm going to pretend that you never said anything."

"Okay. Does that mean I can say whatever I want now?"

"I thought talking wasn't in your job description."

"It's not. So?"

"So why are you wasting your energy talking?"

"...Why, you're absolutely correct."

"I am?"

"Yes, you are. Why am I wasting my time talking when there are perfectly good people around me to practice on?"

"I swear to god, Kouji, if you beat one of my customers up - "

"Oh, you remembered my name."

" - not even your mother is going to recognize your face after I'm done with you."

"I'm so terrified. What are you going to do? Smash my nose in?"

"No, I'm going to put makeup on you and hire you as a barmaid."


	76. Chapter 76

AU. Part 3.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So much for keeping the peace! Do you do this a lot?"

"Beat people up? Yes."

"I didn't ask you to."

"It's the job of the bodyguard to act before he is needed. Prevention is better than preservation."

"It doesn't matter! Overkill is overkill!"

"Your point is?"

"My point is that you destroyed an irreplaceable national monument in the process!"

"Your point _is_?"

"_Putting up with you just isn't worth it! Go back!_"

"...Okay. Up we go."

"Wha - hey! Put me down! Put me DOWN!"

"You said to go back."

"I didn't mean to go back _home_! I meant that you should go back to my father!"

"I never worked for your father."

"...You...didn't?"

"Oh? You calmed down so quickly. Today must have been a very profitable day."

"Don't change the subject. You never worked for him?"

"No. He approached me to talk about you, and that's the end of it."

"...Oh."

"Are you calm enough to talk yet?"

"NO! You almost killed one of my regulars! How am I supposed to calm down after something like that?"

"Shush, girl. You're going to make me drop you."

"Go ahead. It's not like I'll die from a two-story fall."

"What the hell...are you suicidal?"

"No, just experienced."

"...and you say that _I'm_ reckless?"

"Well, it takes one to know one, sir."

"..."

"Wait, I'm supposed to be angry at you, aren't I?"


	77. Chapter 77

AU. Part 4.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Well, this is awkward."

"Indeed."

"...I think I'm going to have that glass of water now."

"It's on the counter."

"I know, sir."

"...Out of pure curiosity, why do you call me sir? I'm not that much older than you."

"It's a habit. Would you just shut up for two minutes so that I can stop blushing?"

"Why are you blushing?"

"..."

"Oh. The kiss?"

"Right."

"..."

"...That's not helping."

"What isn't?"

"You're staring at me."

"Oh. Better?"

"Could you leave the room for a while? Pretty please?"

"No, I can't. Bodyguard, remember? I'm not going to leave you alone just because you asked me to. Have you forgotten what happened last time?"

"I hate your job."

"Even more than you hate me?"

"I don't _hate_ you, per se. It's closer to severe dislike."

"Does that mean that your plan to smother me with a pillow has been put on hold?"

"Well...since you saved my life and all...Maybe."


	78. Chapter 78

AU. Part 5.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Izumi...I've been meaning to ask you for a while now. Why do you even need a bodyguard?"

"I don't. My father is just overprotective."

"...Really? I don't think so. He's not exactly the overprotective type."

"Well, neither are you, but you still act like it sometimes."

"That's only because it's my job."

"Well, he's my father. That's a job too."

"Very true. It sounds like a pretty thankless job, though. Too bad he doesn't get paid for it."

"Hey, I do feel grateful. It's not completely thankless."

"Hmm. You don't really resemble him. Why?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure that I'm even related to the guy."

"I'm glad you don't look like him, you know."

"...Really? He's pretty handsome."

"Handsome is not a good way to describe a girl, though."

"You...!"

"What?"

"You recognized me as a girl! I think we're making progress."

"I thought we were making progress a long time ago."

"No, no, you're wrong. Arguing does _not_ equal progress."

"No, you're the one who's wrong."

"Wha? Why?"

"Progress toward becoming enemies is still progress."


	79. Chapter 79

AU. Part 6.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"How do you like your new popularity?"

"I don't really want to be known as a hero...is there any way to barricade myself in your room for a while?"

"Hey, it's your fault for saving me in public!"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"It would have been fine without you. I told you, a two-story fall won't kill me."

"You're...such a _cat_."

"I'll take that as a compliment, sir."

"Stop wasting my time. Go find me a place to hide. Preferably somewhere not too far away, since I still need to watch you."

"...I should have expected that."

"Of course. Now, where's the tallest building around here?"

"That would be the clock tower."

"..._That_ short, stumpy thing?"

"It's five hundred feet high. Not all that short, you know."

"Well...as long as they can't find me, it's fine."

"Haha. I never took you for the kind to hate crowds, sir. Isn't it easier to blend in?"

"It's hard to keep track of you in crowds. That's all."

"...oh."

"Do you have any idea how fast you run when you're chasing a customer?"

"As long as they don't get away, it doesn't matter. The bills don't exactly pay themselves."

"You would jump off a building for the sake of paying the bills...?"


	80. Chapter 80

AU. Part 7. Woah, so many parts.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I think that it's contagious, little Izumi."

"Mmph. M'not little."

"Ha."

"What do you mean by contagious?"

"The madness. There's something wrong with this whole town."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't explain it."

"...This isn't like you. Maybe you should take a break from work for a while."

"Forget it. I'm not going to fall for a trick like that."

"Sir, you misunderstand me."

"Oh, no, I understand you perfectly. This is another one of your ploys to lock me out of the house, isn't it?"

"...You suck."

"No, I'm just good at sniffing out your thoughts. You really wear your heart on your sleeve, you know."

"Is it too much to ask for five minutes of privacy?"

"Of course."

"...You bastard. Don't complain about the rest of the town. You're just as mad as the rest of them."

"That's why I say that it's contagious. I used to be quite normal, thank you very much."

"Normal? You?"

"...What?"

"Normal? _You_?"

"Are you insulting me?"

"No, just...just commenting on the irony."

"What irony? Hey."

"Hahaha..."

"Don't laugh at me! Get back here!"

"...haha..."

"...Godammit, that girl runs so fast. Why the hell do you even need a bodyguard?"

"I don't! That's what I've been saying since the beginning!"

"Hey, don't get too far ahead of me! I still have to watch you, you know."

"Go to hell!"

"Not until I'm done with this assignment!"


	81. Chapter 81

AU. Part 8. Game, set, match.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What the hell did you do to Izumi?"

"...Interesting. You were much more docile before I bought you as a bodyguard. Why the sudden change?"

"You bastard - answer the fucking question!"

"Release me and I'll consider it, boy."

"..."

"Ah...Your grip is surprisingly strong. Perhaps you'll be interested in another job sometime in the future?"

"...I did what you asked. Now _talk_."

"I said I would consider it, not that I would tell you. There's no reason for you to know about my daughter's whereabouts. Since your contract is already over, I will prepare the money for you shortly."

"Screw the contract. _Where is she_?"

"Didn't I say that it was not longer your business?"

"I don't believe you. Aren't you worried? She's your only daughter!"

"No, but I'm feeling generous today, so I'll tell you what you want to know. _Try not to make me angry_."

"So? Where is she?"

"You're so impatient."

"You said that you would tell me."

"I never said that I would tell you _now_."

"...This game of yours...I quit. If you won't tell me, I'll find out myself. You're not the only one around here with eyes."

"Ah, but I _am_ the only one around here with money. Why don't you learn to be a little more realistic?"

"Funny how you say that. You offered me money to quit asking, but that didn't get you very far, did it?"


	82. Chapter 82

AU. Part 9.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, what...are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Why are you locked up?"

"That's not an easy question to answer, sir."

"I figured. How...how have you been, Izumi?"

"Except for the fact that I've been cooped up in this cell for two months, I'm perfectly fine. What about you?"

"Good. I think."

"Are you going to join me?"

"No, I'm just breaking in."

"Oh, I see..."

"..."

"..."

"This is a pretty surreal conversation, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir. It is."

"Why are you here, Izumi? You never answered my question."

"It's a favor for my father. Sometimes, when he comes home, it's only because he has too many things to do. I have to fill in some of the jobs for him, and staying here to watch is one of them. That's all."

"So if it's for your father, you don't even mind being a prisoner? Geez. So much for caring about your privacy..."

"You're not my father, sir. There's no comparison."

"...No comparison?"

"...Mm...Kou..."

"..."

"...You never play fair, sir."

"If I did, I would lose. And I refuse to lose. Heh."

"What?"

"Just realized that I definitely have the right Izumi. No one else would call me _sir_ right after a kiss."


	83. Chapter 83

AU. Part 10. Second to last. Whew, that was a long drabble set.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Sir? Where am I?"

"On the outside. You've never been this far from home, have you?"

"No. It doesn't look any different, sir."

"That's for sure. Humanity is essentially the same everywhere you go."

"...the same..."

"How do you feel?"

"Pretty decent, all things considered. Where's father?"

"Taking a headcount of everyone that's left."

"Like that's going to help us now."

"Well, he's rather like you in that respect."

"In what respect?"

"He likes to do useless things."

"Hey, I'm pretty useful, you know!"

"Not when you're lying in a bed twenty four seven."

"That's your fault!"

"Izumi, it wasn't exactly _my_ decision to jump in front of a burning wall."

"I didn't know that it was going to fall!"

"...because burning walls are _so_ structurally sound, right?"

"...stop making fun of me."

"I'm not. Just pointing out that you reap what you sow."

"Hmph. It doesn't matter. I'm going to be returning to work soon."

"Your day job?"

"I don't work during the day, silly."

"It's an expression. I guess that you won't be needing a bodyguard anymore..."

"...No, sir, I guess not. I could always use a barmaid, though."


	84. Chapter 84

AU. Part 11. I won't be posting any more of this world for a while, but they'll come back eventually. I would miss them too much otherwise.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"This is probably the first time that you haven't opened our conversation by lecturing me."

"Hmph. This is...different, sir. It's been a while."

"Yes."

"..."

"...Is that all?"

"Er, not exactly. My father - "

"What does that bastard want _now_?"

"Sir, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't call him that."

"...Alright. Here."

"_Writing_ it doesn't make it any better, you know!"

"Then you should have been more specific. What does the old man want?"

"...nothing much. He wants you to do something for him."

"Doesn't he always?"

"Are you interested?"

"Not really."

"Read this, please. What about now?"

"What the hell. He's_ selling you_?"

"No, no, you misunderstand. This is another one of my jobs."

"...He's _selling you as a slave in the underground human trafficking ring_?"

"It's just for show!"

"..."

"Sir? _Sir_?"

"..."

"...Kouji?"

"What?"

"Does my father need to go into hiding?"

"...if he goes through with this, yes."

"Could you give him a head start, at least?"

"_No_."

"...Please?"

"Izumi, I'm sorry to say that in the real world, puppy dog eyes don't prevent murder."


	85. Chapter 85

Featuring yet another pair! ...two part, this time. I swear.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Are they still there? Geez. They never give up..."

"Who?"

"The reporters."

"Seriously? I saw them at six o'clock this morning. Why haven't they given up yet?"

"I don't know. I can't tell if they're persistent...or just stupid."

"Kouji, don't insult them. They're just doing their jobs."

"Couldn't they get a better job?"

"Well, maybe they were good at stalking people in high school - and they didn't want to stop."

"...Let's get them to leave."

"And how do you plan on doing _that?"_

"Elementary, my dear."

"...Wha, Kouji...What're you doing?"

"I'm taking you out with me."

"But I'm not dressed!"

"...Izumi, you're covered from neck to knee. How is that not dressed?"

"...but...this is a nightgown."

"Which, of course, would tell them very kindly that we were in the middle of something."

"_What? _This is your grand plan? Forget it. I'm going back inside."

"Not so fast."

"...Kouji, are you seriously _trying_ to make headlines?"

"Not really. I just want them to leave me alone."

"_Us_, Kouji. Leave _us_ alone."

"See? You would benefit from this too."

"...Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"Just blush."

"I can't exactly blush on command, Kouji."

"Then I'll help you."


	86. Chapter 86

Second part.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"_Trouble in Paradise?_ Wow. I didn't realize that the media was this stupid."

"...Not talking to you. **Why** did you do that in front of the reporters yesterday? I'm so...so..."

"_Caught Cheating on Camera..._oh, nice alliteration."

"It's not funny, Kouji!"

"Of course it is. Oh, look at this one! _Genius Businessman Finds Love in the Arms of Another_! These are so dramatic! It makes me want to die laughing."

"...you're saying that with a straight face...how typical."

"Mmmhmmm. What's your point?"

"Why doesn't this bother you?"

"Because it's completely bullshit."

"Kouji, that doesn't really make me feel better. Why couldn't they figure out that the woman in the pictures was me?"

"Well, you look pretty different with your hair down."

"But my face is still the same."

"They didn't get a good shot of your face."

"Hmph. I'll give you that one. What are you going to do?"

"Nothing."

"What? _Why?_"

"Izumi, do you really want to ruin your Ice Queen reputation? If we tell them the truth, they'll be all over how romantic the pictures are."

"...On the other hand, if we tell them the truth, I can legally sue them for slander and get their newspapers shut down."

"...You have a point. Shall I call the lawyer?"

"No need. I'll sue them myself. Might as well get the most out of my years at law school."

"Better do it quickly, o wife of mine. The fallout is worst when the scandal's hot."

"You're too calm about this."

"That's because I finally got a decent picture of you blushing. I've always wanted one."


	87. Chapter 87

Modern day AU. Slightly darker than the others I've written. Also going to be continued. I seem to be incapable of simple storylines now...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Izumi...I told you not to wait for me."

"I wanted to. Besides, I had nothing better to do."

"Is that a vein popping in your forehead?"

"_Yes~_"

"Are you upset about something I did again?"

"You broke up with another girlfriend!"

"...So?"

"I actually liked that one! She was really sweet. Now she won't even look at me."

"...Izumi..."

"And you can't keep doing this! I know I said to try it out, but you're not even trying!"

"...Izumi?"

"What?"

"It's just a phase. Talking to you probably reminds her of me."

"That's not the point! The point is - "

"You'll have to catch her on your own time. I have no interest in being around when she is."

"What? Kouji! _Kouji Minamoto! _What happened?"

"We had a disagreement."

"And that's _so_ specific. I want to know what it was _about_."

"Oh. Why didn't you say so from the beginning?"

"...Just tell me already. God, if I were your girlfriend, then I would've dumped you already."

"Yes, but you've got boatloads more self-esteem than Yamamoto does."

"Calling her by her last name already? Doesn't take long for _you_ to move on."

"I never called her anything else."

"...You bastard. Why can't you just act like your normal self around other girls?"

"This is my normal self."

"No, it isn't! The Kouji that I know actually has a conscience somewhere under all the crappy manners!"


	88. Chapter 88

Modern day AU, same as yesterday. In which Kouji attempts to make Izumi a little less pissed off.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You still mad, Izumi?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, first off, you didn't jump on me to say hello this morning."

"Well, maybe I'm just tired."

"_Or_ maybe you're mad."

"..."

"Izumi...you're going to have to talk to me eventually."

"No, I don't."

"There's a Chemistry test coming up."

"..."

"And you still don't understand Van der Waals forces."

"...Fine. What do you want?"

"An explanation."

"What's to explain? I want you to find yourself a girlfriend. A _proper_ girlfriend."

"We've been over this. You're the only girl I want to _date_."

"I don't need a boyfriend, I need a best friend. And that's you."

"Hmph. It kind of figures. Your cluelessness in science carries over to the rest of your life."

"...huh?"

"Because you don't understand Chemistry when it gets too complicated."

"...Kouji...that's a joke only you would understand."

"Maybe, but you don't mind it, do you?"

"No, I don't _mind_, but I don't _understand_ your sense of humor either."

"I think that you're underestimating yourself a little."

"Are you looking for someone who understands, Kouji?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Then why don't you start dating your reflection?"


	89. Chapter 89

More of the modern AU. Izumi realizes that something is wrong with this picture.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji!"

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"...Tell you what?"

"That _she_ was the one to dump _you_?"

"It's not exactly something that I want to talk about..."

"What happened?"

"She thought I was cheating on her."

"..."

"With you."

"...Oh. I'm sorry..."

"Honestly, Izumi - I'm just sorry that it wasn't true."

"You're a bastard."

"Did you expect any less?"

"I don't know. If you're so much of a bastard, why didn't you tell me from the beginning that it was my fault?"

"..."

"See, you _do_ have a conscience."

"Ahaha. No way."

"Come on, Kouji. It's not that bad to be the nice guy."

"...I'm sure that I'll find a selfish way to justify it. Tomorrow."

"Hey! That was a compliment, you know."

"...a serious compliment?"

"Yeah."

"...Oh...Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"..."

"...Kouji?"

"Yes?"

"Did you just thank me or was that a hallucination?"

"...You have _so_ much faith in me, Izumi."


	90. Chapter 90

More of the modern AU. In which Izumi cannot win.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Izumi, how did you do?"

"Not too bad. I forgot about dipoles until the very end, though..."

"That's alright. There were only two or three questions about them. Do you have a free period after this?"

"Uh huh."

"Want to go for an ice cream run?"

"...Sure, but not as a date."

"I wasn't trying to suggest that."

"Good. Think of it as an outing with your little sister, 'kay?"

"But I never thought of you as a little sister..."

"Not even when we were ten?"

"No, you were too tall. Not exactly little sister material..."

"Oh. But _you're_ much taller now, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"So what's the problem, Kouji?"

"You're too pretty, I guess."

"...I know I _should_ feel flattered, but I don't."

"It's the truth. You're too pretty to be a sister to me."

"You're so simplistic."

"Yep. At least I'm honest, though."

"I wish you weren't."

"Why not?"

"..."

"You look guilty, Izumi."

"No, I don't."

"Look, if you like someone else, just tell me. I won't freak out."

"..."

"...Much."


	91. Chapter 91

More of the modern AU. In which the most awkward confession ever takes place.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey. What are you doing, Izumi?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"What a coincidence. So did I."

"No, seriously. I wanted to talk about...about yesterday."

"Ah. Relationship things again?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You asked me if I like someone. Well, I do."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Any chance that it's me?"

"Um..."

"...Seriously?"

"...Yeah."

"...Wow. Was _not_ expecting that."

"..."

"You're blushing, Izumi."

"_Am not_!"

"Yes, you are."

"...You're milking this for all it's worth, aren't you?"

"Well, I never thought that this would happen, so tell me why I shouldn't."

"Ugh. I knew telling you was a bad idea."

"Yes, Izumi, it was."

"You don't seem to be all that happy about it..."

"Trust me, I'm ecstatic. And you're still blushing, by the way."

"Kouji, you really are a bastard."

"Why exactly do you like me, then?"

"I was going to ask you the same question."

"Well, that's obvious. How much do I talk to you every day, Izumi?"

"We don't talk. We argue. And debate. And fight."

"Fine. How much do we _verbally communicate_ every day?"

"Do _mis_communications count?"

"..."


	92. Chapter 92

More of the modern AU. In which CPR is too intimate.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What's the tension force again?

"Looks like...57. What a weird number."

"Eh, well, that's Takashi-sensei for you."

"..."

"...Hey, Kouji?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you get this answer?"

"Let me see. Nope."

"Ugh."

"Don't beat yourself up too much. It's not your fault that you're hopeless in physics."

"...that's the longest sentence you've said all day..."

"Technically, it was _two_ sentences."

"Still. Why are you so upset?"

"We-ll, it's not everyday I find out that my best friend would rather give up on dating me than give up on befriending my ex-girlfriends."

"Hey, it's not like that! Your exes and I have lots in common."

"There's a _reason for that_."

"Shush, you. We are not having that conversation a second time."

"There wasn't even a first time."

"Like I said, shush! I still don't see why you broke up with some of them. They're really sweet people, Kouji."

"Unlike you."

"Hey, you're the only one I'm not sweet to, mister."

"And again, I ask you - why?"

"Because I know you. And I know that you don't react well to sweet things."

"Prove it."

"I love you."

"..."

"See?"

"..."

"...Kouji, even if you go into shock, I am _not _giving you two rescue breaths."


	93. Chapter 93

More of the modern AU. In which PDA is used...strategically.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"How does it look?"

"Like a tyrannosaurus rex."

"...but it's a teapot."

"That doesn't mean anything. It still looks like a tyrannosaurus rex."

"Geez. If you're just going to criticize my work, why are you here?"

"...No reason, really."

"Scary thought."

"You really don't have any faith in me at all, do you?"

"Nope. In fact, I think I'll leave while I'm ahead."

"Hey, wait!"

"...what?"

"You're not going to finish the teapot?"

"Nope."

"Izumi, really. I'm not even going to touch you, see?"

"...Okay. Here's the deal. No touching, no boyfriend-esque talking, and absolutely no possessiveness. Can you do that?"

"...Are we going to have the same rules when we're alone?"

"I don't know, Kouji. Depends on how well you behave. We're still in public, so don't embarrass me."

"But we're completely alone. Your classmates saw me and starting running. I think that they're expecting you to murder me."

"Wimps. It figures."

"If I don't do anything bad today, will you go on a date with me tomorrow?"

"...fine."

"Good."

"...then I'm leaving."

"Hey, wait!"

"What, Kouji?"

"You forgot your dinosaur teapot."

"You can keep it. It's supposed to represent you."

"...So...I'm a tea-pouring device that resembles a tyrannosaurus rex?"

"No, no. You are _proof_ that if there is a divine creator, he's got a sense of humor."


	94. Chapter 94

More of the modern AU. In which many things are discussed.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What on earth was _that_?"

"The look on your face...priceless!"

"..."

"Oh, you're blushing!"

"...Izumi, you just kissed me."

"You dared me to."

"I didn't think you would actually do it."

"Hmph, well, I couldn't let you have the upper hand forever."

"...Oh. You have a point."

"...Hey, Kouji, this isn't exactly a typical first date, is it?"

"You're right. Hm."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not really. Let's just call this date #0 instead of date #1."

"Okay. What are we going to do, Kouji?"

"Go to the ice cream shop."

"No, I mean, relationship-wise."

"...Izumi...we're currently _on a date_, which means that we're dating, right?"

"I guess. If we're dating, does that automatically make you my boyfriend?"

"I don't know."

"...Helpful, Kouji. Really helpful."

"Well, it _is_ your choice, isn't it?"

"No, no, it's not about choosing. I'm asking if there's a certain number of dates that you need to have before someone becomes your boyfriend."

"...You want an exact _number_?"

"Uh huh...why are you looking at me like that? I'm just curious!"


	95. Chapter 95

**Epilogue** of sorts for the modern AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Hey, Izumi."

"Yeah?"

"Remember the time you asked-"

"Oh, no, we are _not_ getting into things that I asked a long time ago. You're going to tease me for hours!"

"Please? Just this once?"

"...You're still an amateur at this puppy-dog eye business, Kouji."

"Damn."

"Haha. Hey, I'm curious..."

"Oh, no, is this another one of those invasive questions that you are going to guilt me into answering?"

"Uh huh."

"Great."

"Who was your first kiss?"

"..._What_? Where did that come from?"

"Well, I've been wondering for a while."

"I...can't tell you."

"What? Why? I'm not going to get jealous or anything."

"..."

"C'mon, Kouji."

"I'm serious. I can't."

"Well, why not? I'm your girlfriend. I deserve a little bit of honesty, at least. Don't I?"

"..."

"Uh oh. Was it bad?"

"No, it was pretty good."

"Why can't you tell me, then?"

"Because I don't remember her name."


	96. Chapter 96

Canon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, I don't really understand why you put crackers in water."

"They taste better."

"But water has no taste."

"Fine. They've got a better texture, then."

"But...crackers aren't meant to be soggy."

"They're easier to eat that way."

"...Kouji...graham crackers are never _hard_ to eat. Why you need to make them even softer?"

"Because it's nice. You've never tried dunking a cracker in water?"

"Only when I was seven and had a wiggly tooth."

"Not even Oreos?"

"Oh, no no no. Oreos do _not_ belong in water. Oreos belong in _milk_."

"But there's water in milk."

"There's also a whole bunch of other stuff. And it's the other stuff that goes well with Oreos."

"...Personal opinion."

"Nuh-uh. _Fact_."

"Opinion."

"Fact!"

"Opinnnion."

"Faaaaaaaact. Don't even try. I've got better lungs than you any day."

"Doesn't stop me from trying. Opi - "

"Fa - wait a minute."

"What?"

"Are we seriously arguing about _graham crackers_?"


	97. Chapter 97

English as a second language can make things a little bit complicated. AU, exchange students.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Ah...keep me awake, okay? If I fall asleep, I might not wake up again."

"Long day?"

"...not really. The longest day of the year is the summer solstice and that was last month."

"...No, Kouji, I was speaking figuratively."

"Figuratively? With a figure? What kind of figure?"

"...Actually, I don't know."

"I wish Tommy-san was here. He would clear this up for us..."

"Maybe we should look in the _dizionario_."

"Oh, good idea."

"Where is it?"

"It's not in your bag?"

"No."

"..."

"...Kouji, is it under your pillow?"

"Why on earth would it be under my pillow?"

"Well...one of the boys was planning on switching your pillow out for the book to see if you noticed."

"So _that_'s why my head was hurting so much this morning..."

"..._Uffa_...clueless boy."

"Here it is...but I don't know which word to look up..."

"I dunno either..."

"What should I look for?"

"Maybe a list of idioms?"

"A what?"

"You know, those funny things English people say that don't make any sense to anybody."

"Oh. You mean like the business with raining furry animals?"

"Exactly!"


	98. Chapter 98

Izumi likes to ask for strange things.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, I need an empty soda bottle."

"Wait, what? That's got to be the weirdest thing you've ever asked me for."

"No, it isn't. Remember when I asked for spare wood on my birthday?"

"Oh, right...what did you do with all of it?"

"Made a bonfire. To burn my textbooks."

"...and you didn't invite _me_? I've always wanted to see one of my history books burn..."

"Yes, well, I called you...and your father picked up..."

"...I'm sorry."

"Nah, it was your loss anyways."

"Mean girl, aren't you?"

"What else is new?"

"...Pyromaniac, then."

"...I have no comeback for that."

"Good."

"No need to look so happy, sheesh."

"Do you want me to stop rubbing it in your face?"

"Yes...?"

"What's the magic word?"

"...Please?"

"Okay. Now, why on earth do you need an empty soda bottle, Izumi?"

"Mentos and diet coke."

"Ah, I see. Carry on, then."


	99. Chapter 99

Possibly canon. In which Kouji has way too much fun.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You're late!"

"By two seconds, Kouji! Besides, the professor's not here yet."

"_I_ am, and I'm the TA. That's gotta count for something."

"So? It's not like you can change the attendance."

"I know the professor's passkey."

"...Wait, you what?"

"Well, he's pretty lazy. He won't let me do any of the grading, but punching the numbers into the computer is obviously below him."

"..."

"So, yes, I _can_ change the attendance."

"...You're lying, Kouji."

"Ack. What gave me away?"

"You had one of your dishonest smiles on."

"...You can tell? How much do you stare at my face, Izumi?"

"Hey, it's not like that! I don't have anything better to look at, that's all..."

"..."

"I mean...would you rather I stared at the teacher?"

"Isn't that the entire point of taking a class?"

"...but ah...as..we...hablbubu..."

"I had no idea that it was so easy to make you flustered..."

"That's it, I'm dropping this class."

"And running away? That's not like you."

"...shut up."

"Cute."

"Shut up!"

"See? You're flustered again."


	100. Chapter 100

Possibly canon. Going shopping.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I kind of like this one! What do you think, Kouji?"

"...Why is there a bow in the middle?"

"Decoration. Isn't it cute?"

"...it's really small...won't you lose it?"

"Nah. I'm not that bad."

"Oh, _really_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Hmph. Oh, dang it. It's over five hundred yen. Not worth it at all."

"Five hundred yen is not that expensive."

"It's bad luck to pay too much for something like this."

"...right."

"Oh! Look at this one! It's got a tadpole design on it. How cute!"

"...what a weird pattern."

"Plus it's biodegradable. I'm getting this one, okay?"

"Izumi, only _you_ would care about choosing a good luck charm that's good for the environment."


	101. Chapter 101

Army AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"At ease."

"Yes, General."

"...what the hell are you doing? I said _at ease_. You aren't my subordinate anymore."

"M'apologies. How have you been?"

"I'm alive. That's about as good as it gets."

"I can see that, sir - oh, sorry, _Minamoto_."

"Where did they station you?"

"At the coast. I thought I might as well come over to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? What, are you planning on dying there?"

"No - I mean...Ugh. You haven't changed."

"That's a good thing."

"And how exactly is that a good thing?"

"It means I'm still somewhat sane."

"You...have a point, Minamoto."

"I always do. How did you get promoted?"

"...Intelligence."

"I doubt it."

"Alright, Minamoto, what's the deal with you today? I am _not_ an idiot."

"I wasn't implying that."

"...Then what?"

"I doubt that you were promoted for intelligence. Your superiors probably thought you would be easy to control."

"You sure are optimistic."

"No. Realistic."

"Hmph. So, do you still yell like a maniac at the women in your command?"

"No."

"...You don't have any left, do you?"

"No."


	102. Chapter 102

In the middle of nowhere AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Fixing you up."

"...you _ripped_ my shirt in half, Kouji."

"You needed a sling."

"I appreciate the effort, but please tell me what you're doing _before_ you go around stripping me."

"I'll try to keep that in mind. How's your arm?"

"It's still broken."

"Yes, I know, but how does it _feel_?"

"You sound like a therapist. 'How does it make you _feel_...?'"

"Izumi...you can call me whatever else you want, I don't care. Just don't call me a therapist."

"What's your problem? Therapists are useful. Especially for people like you."

"Yeah, useful. And disturbingly emotionless."

"So are you."

"Have pity on your partner in crime."

"Okay, fine. You don't sound like a therapist, you sound like a _shrink_."

"Synonyms don't count."

"Jerk."

"See, that's the perfect example of a name that I don't mind."


	103. Chapter 103

Stereotypes. Canon AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Nnnnnngh. My head is about to explode. Let me crash on your bed for a bit."

"Sure. What's up, Izumi?"

"Nothing much. Just bad people and worse people."

"In other words, business as usual?"

"Yeah. Maybe I should get another job..."

"...Izumi, we've talked about this. You are _not_ getting another job. The one you already have sucks all of your energy out for weeks whenever they ask for overtime."

"Nah, I'm thinking of quitting."

"...Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"...My faith in your common sense has been revived."

"Oh, shut up."

"Seriously, though. Load off my mind. You finally took back one of your worst blond moments."

"What blond moment?"

"The moment you walked into the interview."

"...how is that _blond_? You've walked into dozens of them!"

"Yeah, but not when the guy making the appointment sounds like a flirt on helium."

"Hmph. I've had worse blond moments, you know."

"Like?"

"Like when I started dating you."

"...Low blow, Izumi."


	104. Chapter 104

Sleepy Kouji is sleepy.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Guh."

"Ne, Kouji, you look dead. What's wrong?"

"No coffee."

"Ahhh. That explains everything. Did you run out?"

"Kouichi."

"I didn't know that Kouichi drank coffee..."

"No, he accidentally broke the coffee maker. I'm kind of mad at him."

"Just kind of? I thought you would be ready to wring his neck..."

"...too tired."

"How is that _possible?_"

"Izumi, not even _I_ can beat someone up in my sleep..."

"But you're not asleep right now."

"Close enough."

"Hahaha, okay, okay. You can stop looking at me with your death glare now."

"Must not be much of a death glare if you can laugh at it."

"Oh, no, it's a death glare all right. I'm just immune."

"You're immune to death?"

"Oh, look, you're being all witty and mean again. Finally awake?"

"...Yeah. I feel alive again. Kind of."

"Good, because you have a pop quiz today."

"...wait, _what_?"

"Completely alive now?"

"Hell no. I'm _dead_. I haven't paid attention in that class for a month."

"...wait, so you'll be dead but alive at the same time..."

"...I'm sensing a really bad joke."

"Oh, hush. Tell me what it's like to be a zombie after you finish taking that quiz, kay?"


	105. Chapter 105

The simple pains of life.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What are you doing right now, Kouji-san?"

"The wings. Are you sure that you want blue feathers? They might not show up well on your skin."

"...it's fine."

"But you're too tan."

"It's _fine_."

"If they turn out green, it's not my problem, alright?"

"Sure, sure."

"Why did you decide to get a tattoo anyway? I thought you liked your skin the way it was."

"Well, I do."

"So?"

"There's nothing to it. I just wanted to get a tattoo. Is that a crime nowadays?"

"If it was, I would be out of business by now."

"True..."

"...Orimoto. Why did you choose to come _here_?"

"Why not? I know you."

"You know me because we went on a blind date two weeks ago. A _disastrous_ blind date, might I add."

"That was entirely your fault."

"No, it wasn't."

"Yes, it was."

"No, it _wasn't_."

"The customer is always right."

"...Godammit."


	106. Chapter 106

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Wow. That looks amazing."

"What did you _expect_?"

"Quit fighting me and just take the compliment, okay?"

"Fine, fine. I still say the feathers look green."

"It's your work. Take some pride in it, Kouji-san."

"I do. That's the problem."

"Why do you work here anyways?"

"Because the pay is pretty decent and the customers don't care if you talk back."

"..."

"You're an exception."

"Sure."

"Orimoto, please don't come here again."

"I thought you liked customers."

"I don't actually like them, I like _having_ them."

"Your social skills leave _much_ to be desired, Kouji-san."

"Like I said, I don't exactly want you coming back."

"And _I_ ask, why not?"

"That's none of your business."

"Hmph. Your manager is so much nicer than you are."

"...You've _met_ him?"

"What's with that look?"

"...Never mind. Don't come back. Please."

"Seriously, Kouji-san, what's wrong with you? Besides the personality, I mean."

"You met my manager. That's the problem."

"He's nice."

"Because you're a girl. And...not unattractive."

"...Was...was that a compliment?"


	107. Chapter 107

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You again?"

"Hey, at least I'm not at the shop. You said, and I quote, please don't come _here_ again. _Here_ being the shop."

"You're pretty snappish for a damsel-in-distress, Orimoto."

"I am not in distress! I'm just waiting for a taxi."

"Orimoto, you do realize that standing in the rain is like asking for pneumonia, right?"

"I'm not that delicate."

"Clearly."

"Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Yes. Now, listen closely. I have a ride. You do not. Stand up and get in."

"...No thanks. My mother taught me not to trust strangers."

"Suit yourself. I'm sure your mother also taught you to stand in the rain."

"..."

"...The seat belt's over there."

"I can find it myself, thank you."

"...Do you...want a towel?"

"...No...thank you."

"..."

"Er, Kouji, why exactly do you have a towel in the car?"

"Just forgot it in here, I guess."

"...Oh. Wha-what are you _doing_?"

"My shirt is wet. I'm taking it off."

"Couldn't you give me some kind of warning before you do that?"

"Why?"

"Because...because..."

"As funny as it is, I'm getting tired of your stammering. Spit it out already."

"Because!"

"...Okay."

"..."

"Is this the first time you've seen a guy shirtless? Seriously. You're completely red."

"No, it's not! Jerk."

"Could have fooled me."

"Look, you've got a freaking towel. Put it on!"

"...so...you would rather get pneumonia than see me shirtless?"

"...You're having fun with this, aren't you?"

"Not at all, Orimoto."


	108. Chapter 108

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji."

"No honorific?"

"...Kouji-_san_."

"There we go."

"Kind of a bastard, aren't you?"

"What else is new, I wonder?"

"Hush. I'm trying to ask you a serious question."

"Ask away. I'm not going to guarantee a serious answer, though."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Why don't _you_ have any tattoos?"

"Because I want one on my back and I can't exactly do that on my own."

"Why don't you let someone else do it? Like your coworkers?"

"Don't trust them enough."

"...Kouji-san, do you actually trust _anyone_?"

"Yes. Kind of."

"Not your manager, obviously."

"Hell no."

"Yeah...I can understand why."

"...Did he do something, Orimoto?"

"Just a little phone stalking. Nothing major."

"_Nothing major?_"

"...Kouji-san?"

"What do you mean, phone stalking?"

"Well, he got my number somehow..."

"I am going to kill him."

"Kouji-san, get away from that door! It's two in the morning!"

"...Fine. Tomorrow, then."

"...There's no way to change your mind?"

"Not unless you invent a time machine."

"What if - what if you just got him to apologize?"

"...Izumi, I am tired, upset, and pissed off, and there's a girl in my apartment, and my manager is a perverted bastard, and I am not in the mood for renegotiation."

"...N...no honorific?"

"...No."


	109. Chapter 109

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Good morning, Kouji-san."

"...Why are you in my apartment...oh, right."

"Mmmhmm."

"Are those pancakes I see?"

"_My _pancakes. Get your own!"

"...Are you a rabid dog or something? And by the way, this is _my_ kitchen."

"You're not very good at sharing, are you?"

"Neither are you, Orimoto Izumi."

"Hmph. No wonder you're still single."

"Well...sort of."

"Sort of? How can someone be sort of single? Don't tell me...you're in an open relationship?"

"What? _No._"

"Are you a polygamist?"

"No."

"Are you a cheater?"

"No!"

"Then how is it possible to be _sort of_ single?"

"I'm single, but I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

"I don't get it. Why did you go on a blind date with me?"

"No reason. A friend told me about you and I had nothing better to do. Not that it's any of your business, Orimoto Izumi."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"...I don't know."

"Oh, god. This is turning into one of those awkward I'm-going-to-tell-you-about-my-shady-past conversations, isn't it?"

"Pfff...Ha! Oh, shoot."

"My pancakes!"

"Sorry, I guess."

"You _guess_? Your glass of milk just demolished my poor pancakes! Apologize! Now!"

"But...I did."


	110. Chapter 110

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"How on earth did you get me to make another stack of pancakes? You're such a tyrant."

"Well, it's your fault that I'm still hungry."

"Like I said, tyrant."

"Hey, don't make me start listing all of _your_ personality flaws."

"Nah. You might as well save your breath, Orimoto Izumi."

"Okay, that's the third time you've called me by my full name. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Sure. And you're absolutely the kind of person who does things for no reason."

"What's wrong with calling you Orimoto Izumi?"

"Doesn't it take too long to say the whole thing?"

"Time me."

"Huh?"

"You said it takes too long, so time me."

"...I didn't mean it literally."

"I'm serious, Orimoto Izumi."

"Fine. Let me get my cell phone...ready, set, go."

"_Orimoto Izumi_."

"..."

"Well?"

"1.2 seconds."

"You see?"

"...Kouji-san, I think you're obsessed with being right."

"There are worse things to be obsessed with."

"That's true."

"...well, damn. You just agreed with me. I don't know if I can handle that."

"Kouji-san, are we friends?"

"Huh?"

"Are we friends?"

"I don't know. I guess?"

"Okay. Since we're friends and all, you won't mind if I give you a punch, right? It's for your own good!"


	111. Chapter 111

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"No, you're not. You've practically got bags under your eyes."

"Well, if you already knew the answer, why'd you even ask?"

"It's called being polite, Kouji-san."

"Which is just as foreign to _you_ as it is to me."

"...Do you have any idea what _small talk_ is?"

"In theory, yes. In practice, no. It's a waste of time."

"Geez. Is the shop really busy?"

"Not exactly. What is this, an interrogation?"

"...That's it. You are going home and taking some time off. Now."

"What?"

"You're even crankier than usual. No, don't look at me like that - it's not a good thing!"

"I'm fine. Why are you so worried?"

"We _are_ friends, aren't we?"

"...I guess."

"What kind of answer is that...Kouji-san, you don't have very many, do you?"

"Friends? Not really."

"I can tell. Come on. Let's go."

"I have a customer."

"Let someone else handle it."

"We need to get more tattoo needles."

"Let someone else handle it."

"The manager is in one of his moods again."

"Let...someone else...handle it."

"..."

"Trust me, Kouji-san. I'm more stubborn than you are."

"Damn, I didn't know that was possible."


	112. Chapter 112

The simple pains of life, continued but not finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji, where's Tomoki?"

"..."

"Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Hey, Kouji-_san_."

"I don't mind."

"Do you really want people to start gossiping again?"

"Like I said, they can do whatever they like."

"...Shoot. That used to work so well..."

"I've gotten better at ignoring you."

"We'll see about that. Could you answer the first question, please?"

"New kid's working at the desk. He's been answering the phone all day."

"Oh. Poor boy."

"The manager doesn't like him."

"...Kouji?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Tomoki _supposed_ to be working here? He doesn't exactly look eighteen."

"Who knows. Want to check on him?"

"Yes."

"I figured. Come on, I'll take you to the back."

"Don't you have a customer?"

"She can wait."

"She?"

"Mmhmm. Repeat customer. I have to finish the celtic design on her back."

"Wow, so pretty."

"The tattoos or the woman?"

"Both, I guess. Er, is she looking at me?"

"Well, is she just watching...or is she staring with a dropped jaw?"

"Um...definitely closer to the second one."

"Oh, okay. She probably thinks that you're my girlfriend. It's nothing to worry about. "


	113. Chapter 113

The simple pains of life, finally finished.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What are you doing, Kouji?"

"Getting some orange juice."

"Mmmkay."

"Want any?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

"..."

"...You're quiet tonight."

"Yeah, don't feel like bossing you around right now."

"Something happen?"

"My best friend told me to propose to you."

"...say...say _what_?"

"It was a joke. I mean - _she_ was joking."

"Don't you have a boyfriend, Orimoto Izumi?"

"We broke up last week."

"Oh. I can see why. He was...um...suicidal."

"What? Since when?"

"Well, didn't you hear him? Something about wanting to die for you?"

"...Uh, Kouji, that's supposed to be romantic."

"...when did suicide become romantic?"

"I think you're biased."

"Of course I am. Never really liked the guy."

"Yeah, you made that pretty clear."

"I'm surprised he lasted this long."

"I guess..."

"Want to go on another date? With me, I mean?"

"..."

"...What?"

"I never thought _you_ would make the first move."

"Well, deal with it. Maybe your woman's intuition is dying, Orimoto Izumi."

"Haha. You're just trying to distract me, aren't you?"

"Is it working?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Kouji."

"Good. Now go get your orange juice."

"...Orange juice doesn't solve breakup drama, Kouji."

"Maybe not, but it sure makes your mouth hurt like nothing else. Chances are, you won't be in the mood to stew over your ex-boyfriend after that."


	114. Chapter 114

In which Kouji is both sensitive and insensitive.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why does the weather want to go haywire so much this week? It was storming yesterday!"

"I don't know...You okay?"

"Kind of. Do you have a pack of ice anywhere, Izumi?"

"No, sorry. My freezer doesn't make ice anymore, remember? It's broken."

"Damn."

"You'll live, won't you?"

"Maybe. My skin feels disgusting."

"...?"

"I hate sunscreen."

"Kouji, why exactly are you wearing sunscreen _indoors_?"

"There's a window in my room."

"...You're not making any sense."

"Why not? There's a window. The sun shines through. Therefore...sunscreen."

"Why don't you just draw the blinds?"

"See, that _would've _been the perfect solution."

"...but?"

"But I don't exactly have blinds anymore."

"Okay, Kouji,_ what happened?_"

"Nothing much. The microwave exploded."

"I'm not going to ask."

"Good."

"_Good?_"

"Yeah. Good. Because I'm not going to tell you."


	115. Chapter 115

Canon AU, playing Japanese Monopoly.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"That's not fair, Kouji."

"Hey, there's nothing I can do about it. My luck is just better than yours."

"It still isn't fair! You have all the yellow properties!"

"Well, then...stop _landing_ on them."

"I can't, that's the whole point."

"..."

"That's why it isn't fair."

"Izumi, unless spirits have taken over the dice-"

"It could happen. You never know."

"...Why do you care so much? It's just Monopoly."

"There's nothing else to do."

"What about breathing?"

"...besides the obvious, Kouji."

"What about meditation?"

"That's just another way to spend time doing nothing."

"I think you would benefit a lot from it."

"But it would be so _boring_."

"Come back to the Monopoly game, then. It's your turn."

"I don't really feel like playing..."

"Fine. Do you want one of my properties?"

"...Shibuya?"

"No way."

"What about Harajuku?"

"I want fifty thousand yen for it."

"What? Kouji, I'm already in debt!"

"So?"

"You have so much money already! What are you going to _do_ with all of it?"

"...I'm going to _win_."


	116. Chapter 116

Guy-girl talk. Canon.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Um..."

"Izumi, honestly. The dress looks fine."

"Kou-kun? I need you to be your usual painfully honest self for a minute."

"No need to tell me. That's how I always am."

"Okay. Good."

"What's your question?"

"Am I fat?"

"...what...the hell."

"Well? _Am_ I?"

"Izumi, where on earth did you get that idea?"

"Nowhere, really. One of the girls in my class said something, and I thought...well..."

"From now on, you are going to _ignore_ everything that your classmates say. Especially the female ones."

"Wha - but..."

"No buts!"

"Kou-kun, isn't that a little drastic?"

"It's not drastic at all. I'm also going to throw away your bathroom scale."

"...not drastic at all, he says..."

"Hmph."

"Hey, Kou-kun?"

"What?"

"Are you sure that you want me to ignore the girls in my class?"

"Why not?"

"Well, if I don't talk to any girls...then I'll be talking to other _guys_ all day. You do realize that, right?"


	117. Chapter 117

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"For god's sake, stop shooting at me!"

"I can't help it! You're in my way!"

"Can't you just _move__ to another roof_?"

"..."

"Orimoto!"

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said, can't you just move?"

"...maybe...Duck!"

"Goddamnit! Didn't you hear me? I'm sick of dodging bullets from my own team!"

"Hey, at least I warned you this time!"

"Orimoto, if you weren't such a good shot, I would have fucking killed you for that."

"Bastard...I'm trying to _help_ you here!"

"Che. I'm turning off the radio."

"Hey, wait...if you do that, we won't be able to talk anymore."

"Doesn't matter. I'll be out of range in a few minutes."

"Do you need me to follow - "

"No. Stay put."

"Roger...wait, Minamoto!"

"What?"

"How long do you want me to wait?"

"Until I get out."

"What if you don't come out for a long, long time?"

"In that case, I'm probably dead."


	118. Chapter 118

Continuation of yesterday...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Minamoto...you are such an _fucking idiot_!"

"Why do I have to listen to this right after waking up...?"

"Shut up! You deserve it!"

"Why?"

"The Army was planning to kill you!"

"Of course. I've blown up at least twenty of their ships."

"Then why the hell did you go waltzing into their headquarters like that?"

"I had backup."

"Yeah, backup - one sniper!"

"You're more than just a sniper, Orimoto. Mind you, not _much _more..."

"I hate it when you act like this."

"If you can't stand watching people die, why are you in this industry?"

"_See? _This is why you're such a retard! You don't have an ounce of self-preservation!"

"Like I said...what's the big deal?"

"You almost died. That's not a big enough deal?"

"Orimoto, people die every day."

"That doesn't give you the right to go on a suicidal rampage!"

"Newsflash. I'm a free man...I can do whatever the fuck I want with my life."

"...there's no helping you, is there?"

"Why are you always trying to help me?"

"Why are you even asking?"

"Well..."

"Some people actually care about their partners, you know."

"Orimoto, just because I'm moderately fond of you - "

"Moderately? Wow, what an upgrade! You were only _mildly_ fond of me last time!"


	119. Chapter 119

Continuation of yesterday...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: mature themes.  
**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey."

"...what?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No. Not really."

"Good."

"But if you ever do that again, I'm going to kick your ass."

"I'd like to see you try, Orimoto-chan."

"Shut up."

"Orimoto?"

"..."

"Look at me."

"...Bastard."

"It's rude to look away when someone's talking to you."

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever meet another guy as aggravating as you."

"Orimoto."

"_What_?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how angry are you?"

"I don't know. Be quiet. Go to sleep."

"Why are you even here? It's past visiting hours. If the nurses catch you - "

"I'll bribe them."

"...With what?"

"Don't know. I'll think of something."

"You know, Orimoto...sometimes I wonder why we're so stubborn."

"Easy. It's because we both want to win."

"There can't be two winners."

"Says who?"

"Common sense."

"Not a viable argument, Minamoto."

"Hm?"

"We both know that common sense is like a foreign language to you."

"Well, if common sense is a foreign language that I don't speak..._you_ would be the worst translator in the world."


	120. Chapter 120

Continuation of yesterday...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Shoot. I need more ammo."

"How the _hell_ did you manage to run out? Oh, wait. You're a trigger-happy blonde girl. Never mind."

"What does being blonde have to do with anything?"

"Well, you're blonde."

"I...don't get it."

"Whatever. I lost my train of thought a few explosions back."

"...Explosions? Minamoto, get out! Get out _now_!"

"What the hell?"

"Do it!"

"Fine, fine. Why are you so - fuck!"

"What happened? Minamoto?"

"Shit. Hey, listen! I want you to fire on the fourth floor. Got that? Fourth!"

"Got it, but what do you want me to shoot?"

"The security guards."

"Roger..."

"...Fuck..."

"Minamoto? Is your arm okay?"

"I'm fine. Concentrate on the little bastards."

"You're a little bastard too."

"Ha. Hey, Orimoto, I'm going to take some time off-"

"...You...are? Oh my god. This is probably a first in the history of the world."

"Shut it. Fourth floor, remember?"

"Right, right."

"What was I saying? Oh, right, taking time off."

"Uh huh."

"I'm going to visit my hometown."

"You have a _hometown_? Oh, wait, that's a stupid question..."

"Nice catch, Orimoto."

"Uh huh."

"Do you want to tag along?"

"Uh huh...Wait...what?"

"Too late. You already agreed."

"What the hell did I agree to?"

"I'll...tell you later."

"Oh, okay."


	121. Chapter 121

Continuation of yesterday...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You are such a...such a..."

"A what?"

"_Douchebag!_"

"Not bad. You're expanding your insulting vocabulary."

"Minamoto Kouji, I am going to cut you into tiny little chunks of meat and feed you to a wild pig!"

"Overreacting much?"

"I am not overreacting!"

"Orimoto, it's just a short visit."

"You exploited my short attention span!"

"Does that _surprise _you?"

"...I guess not..."

"Then you have nothing to complain about."

"I don't want to go."

"Why not?"

"I just don't. Is it illegal to have an _opinion_?"

"Listen, Orimoto..."

"I'm listening."

"The country is going through a fucking _civil war_. If I start traveling alone, the Army is going to jump at the chance to kill me."

"_I _would jump at the chance to kill you. Any day."

"Well, yes, but they're just a little more pissed off than you are."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"I thought you were going to listen."

"I _am _listening."

"Orimoto, people usually have to shut up to listen."

"Yeah, well, I'm special."

"Indeed. _Very _special."

"Are you trying to imply something?"

"Not at all."


	122. Chapter 122

Canon. Short interruption of the current saga XD

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"A little more to the left."

"Alright."

"Mmm. That feels really good..."

"I finished my exams today."

"So did I..."

"How does it feel to be a free woman?"

"Pretty damn good. What did you have today?"

"Calculus."

"...I'm sorry."

"Nah, it wasn't that bad. What about you?"

"Philosophy."

"Ouch."

"It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, though."

"What did you have to do?"

"Write four pages analyzing suspended disbelief."

"Izumi, I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but it doesn't sound good."

"Nah. Suspended disbelief is basically the feeling you get when you read fantasy books and...stuff."

"Oh. It should be _very_ easy for you, then...Miss Twilight junkie."

"Hey, I'm not a junkie!"

"You're consuming junk. That's the definition of a junkie."

"Hmph. Don't be such a mood-killer, Kouji."

"I'm not killing anything. _Twilight_ is the mood-killer here."

"You're not that different from Edward, you know."

"...You just scarred me for life, Izumi."

"It's true! You're good at running - like Edward - and good at piano - like Edward - and extremely protective - like Edward..."

"..."

"What are you doing?"

"Leave me alone. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that my girlfriend compares me to a stalkerish vampire who glitters in the sunlight and feeds on animal carcasses."

"...technically, normal people also feed on animal carcasses. It's called meat."

* * *

Warning in advance, I might not be able to post for a while...road trips aren't too good for internet access.


	123. Chapter 123

Continuation of the day before yesterday...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Minamoto, where's the water skin?"

"You...woke me up...at the crack of dawn...to ask for a _water skin_?"

"I'm thirsty."

"You can't possibly find it yourself?"

"I'm on watch duty."

"And you can't leave long enough to reach over me and grab your bag?"

"_You_ tell _me_. You're the paranoid one."

"..."

"Be nice to the ladies, Minamoto."

"Right. Fine. I'll get you your damn water."

"Thank you."

"You're not welcome."

"How _polite_. Notice the sarcasm."

"I noticed. Just didn't care."

"Jerk."

"Love you too, Orimoto."

"Your motto in life should be _'Misery loves company.' _It fits you perfectly."

"I'm not miserable."

"Oh really now?"

"Orimoto, I've had three godforsaken hours of sleep. Could you please leave me _alone_?"

"See? Miserable!"

"Fine. You're right. I'm fucking miserable - and if you keep talking, I'll make you even more miserable for the rest of your natural life!"

"But it's already time to go."

"..."

"Woah!"

"..."

"What did that poor boulder ever do to you?"

"It tempted me to hit you, that's what."

"You're such a bastard."

"Maybe I am. Too bad it didn't actually hit you."

"Minamoto..._you_'re the one who taught me how to dodge..."

"Unfortunately."

* * *

Had internet today! Waiting to see if my luck holds.


	124. Chapter 124

Continuation of the day before yesterday...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"And that's the chapel."

"Chapel?"

"There were some foreigners a few decades ago who decided to move in - and they commissioned someone to build a church. Never got finished, though."

"..."

"What?"

"That's probably the longest sentence I've ever heard you say without cursing _once_."

"I don't curse that much."

"..."

"...Maybe a little."

"..."

"Fine, so I do curse a lot."

"Like every other man who owns a machine gun."

"Not all of them. Just the ones in our business. It's a pretty good stress reliever."

"True, but that's no excuse - what are you doing?"

"Breaking in."

"But it's a chapel!"

"So? Free lodging for the night."

"...Minamoto, you're not religious at all, are you?"

"Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"If I didn't believe in hell, I'd be denying my first few decades of existence. So...kind of."

"Your life was that bad?"

"No, it was _sunshine and rainbows_. Why would you ever think otherwise?"

"Fuck, Minamoto, could you be any more sarcastic?"

"No, of _course not_."

* * *

Uggh, I'm so behind now...This one's the one from last Sunday, so enjoy! I'll catch them up this weekend.


	125. Chapter 125

End of this universe. Thinking about writing a one-shot for it...

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: lots of swearing.**

**Warning: Read the warnings.  
**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Quick question."

"Ask away."

"How the _hell_ did we get from sleeping in the chapel to fighting the town militia?"

"Hm...might be because I'm not welcome here."

"That would have been _good to know_!"

"Orimoto, quit talking and start shooting."

"I _am_ shooting."

"Then quit talking."

"...ass."

"What a waste. The chapel's not going to last very long..."

"Minamoto?"

"Hm?"

"I'm out of ammo."

"Then use napalm."

"But they're villagers!"

"If you can't handle it, get out of my way. Ow!"

"That was the stupidest thing you've ever said to me."

"Orimoto, you hit me on the head with a fucking assault rifle."

"You deserved it."

"Che. Let's go. I think they're out of bullets."

"And you were going to use napalm on them? Is your head screwed on right?"

"Who knows."

"Sheesh. Men."

"Hey, if you've got such a problem with my gender, why are you still heterosexual?"

"Some guys make it worth my time."

"...Really. Have you met any of those guys yet?"

"Nope."

"I'm hurt."

"Minamoto, you have no right to say that. There's a reason girls stay away from you."

"Thankfully."

"Bastard."

"You wouldn't have me any other way."

"...you might be right."


	126. Chapter 126

Canon. Mild cursing.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji?"

"What?"

"I just realized. You're a lot like vanilla extract."

"...Izumi, how on earth did you come up with something like that in the middle of history class?"

"It just came to me, that's all!"

"And I ask again - _how_? The teacher's been lecturing non-stop for fifty minutes."

"Are you telling me that _you_ actually pay attention in this class?"

"...You have a point."

"Of course...aren't you curious?"

"Curious?"

"About why you're like vanilla extract?"

"No."

"Really? It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Knowing you, that doesn't mean a damn thing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"What? Kouji, I want an answer! A real answer!"

"...Crap, the professor heard you."

"Does he look mad?"

"Yeah."

"...I guess that it's detention time again."

"This happens way too often, Izumi. Why don't you just learn to sleep in class instead of talking to me?"

"There's something wrong with that sentence..."

"So you noticed. Wonders never cease."

"Hey, I'm not _that_ clueless, you know."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Shh...it's okay. The first step to resolving denial is admitting that you have a problem."

* * *

I still owe you guys three extra posts! Watch for them. Today I did two, one for Monday, one for today. By the way, I'm sorry about not updating my other stories. Please don't hurt me.


	127. Chapter 127

Canon. Mild cursing. Continuation of yesterday.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Is your detention over yet, Izumi?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Can you come over?"

"Sure. Why-"

"Please dress nice."

"Wha-"

"Please."

"...Kouji, I had no idea you were even capable of saying that word. What the hell is going on?"

"It's an emergency."

"Then call 911."

"Not _that_ kind of emergency. Are you going to come?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Good."

"Could I get a little bit more information, at least?"

"No."

"Then...can I ask a question?"

"You already did, Izumi."

"...Jerk. If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'm not going."

"My father invited a girl to dinner...and she's had a crush on me since fifth grade."

"Wow."

"I know. You can imagine the awkwardness."

"No - I'm just surprised that you actually _noticed_."


	128. Chapter 128

Canon. Mild cursing. Continuation of yesterday.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Well, uh...that was awkward."

"You _think_?"

"Kouji, you have a really strange look on your face."

"Let me guess. I look really pissed off."

"No...well, kind of. You look like a teenager that just went through a really bad sex talk."

"That sounds about right."

"Please don't make me go to something like that again."

"Well, it was better than the alternative."

"You sure about that, Kouji?"

"Believe me, that girl can be really straightforward when she wants to be."

"She didn't know that you were taken?"

"Neither did my father, actually."

"Oh. Is that why he was choking?"

"No, that was because he had no idea that you existed."

"Of course I exist!"

"In concept, I mean. He had no idea that there were girls in the world who would put up with me this long."

"But there are a lot at school."

"I never told him about them. Or about how often they get pregnant."

"Did you actually...?"

"Yep."

"Kouji, what _possessed_ you to tell your father about _that_?"

"Well, I figured it was time to be honest. He decided to repay me by talking about contraceptives."

"...really? Is that - I mean - is that really what your father was talking about when he pulled you aside?"

"Basically."

"Oh, god. I will never look at him the same way again."

"Neither will I."


	129. Chapter 129

Sigh. I still owe you guys two extras. No time, no time...I'm working on a long-term project right now...

**EDIT: Uploaded the wrong one...sorry, guys!**

By the way, this is the Neighbors AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Ugh...Izumi?"

"Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Kind of. It's alright."

"...Okay..."

"I thought your flight was going to be late."

"It was, but we caught up a little bit."

"Ah. What do you need?"

"Um...do you have any trash bags?"

"Sure. I'll get some."

"Thanks...What a gentleman."

"Gentleman? _Me_? Since when?"

"It was a compliment. Shut your mouth and accept it."

"Fine, fine. How many do you need?"

"Well...how big are they? Would they cover me?"

"You're small enough to live in them. Not much of a standard there."

"Who on earth would want to live in a trash bag?"

"Have faith in the homeless people."

"Kouji!"

"Plus, high density polyethylene bags are pretty strong. It takes a lot of mooing - I mean, _moving -_ to break them."

"That sounded so intelligent until the mooing part."

"I'm tired. It's late."

"It's the same time for everyone."

"But you have jet lag. That give you an unfair advantage."

"Life isn't fair, Kouji."

"I noticed."


	130. Chapter 130

Sigh. I still owe you guys two extras. No time, no time...I'm working on a long-term project right now...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Okay, I think that's enough trash bags. Bye!"

"..."

"...Uh, Kouji? You need to say bye now."

"..."

"Hello? Are you still with us?"

"..."

"Kouji? Ack! That wasn't fair!"

"Sorry."

"...It's fine. I missed you."

"How was Italy?"

"Good! It was nice to see my family again. I was so happy - you know, the silly kind of happy."

"As opposed to what?"

"Jerk...can you let go of me now? I can't breathe."

"Just so you know, Izumi...people who can't breathe can't talk, either."

"What if you go underwater?"

"That doesn't count...God damn it. Did you grow witty overnight or something?"

"No, I grew witty over _two_ nights."

"I knew I shouldn't have let you go to Italy."

"Stop crying over the spilt milk. It's already rotten."

"...I'm going back to bed."

"Wha - hey! You haven't let go of me yet!"

"That's the point."

"I am _not_ sleeping over tonight!"

"Hm, what a good idea..."

"Mother is going to kill us."

"Yours or mine?"

"Mine, Kouji."

"Well...at least we'll die in our sleep. That's the most peaceful way to go."


	131. Chapter 131

I'm horribly busy, but I ditched Physics for you guys...don't you feel loved?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...I'm so upset..."

"Sit down for a minute, Izumi."

"I think I need more than a minute."

"Then take however long you need."

"You're so freaking calm about this..."

"I've gotten over the shock."

"I haven't."

"Obviously."

"When...?"

"I'm leaving on the twenty fifth."

"That's tomorrow!"

"Look, there's nothing we can do about it. Calm down."

"...Okay. Okay. I'm calm."

"There you go. I'm going to pack, okay?"

"Why do you need to leave _now_?"

"Izumi..."

"This isn't fair."

"I'll be back soon."

"That's what you said last time. Two years is _not_ soon, Kouji."

"We have time. Be patient."

"..."

"Look at me."

"...what?"

"If you want to get me home faster, talk to the Prime Minister."

"Maybe I will!"

"Dear god, I was _joking_."

"I'm not. He's been using up too much of your time, Kouji!"

"Izumi, you've been red in the face for over ten minutes. That _can't_ be healthy."

"Stop trying to distract me."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. And you're really bad at it."


	132. Chapter 132

I have decided. Homework sucks. Hence why this is late.

New AU!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey."

"Oh...it's you."

"What kind of greeting was _that_, Kouji?"

"Sorry."

"...did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"I guess. Can you blame me?"

"Not really. Do you have guard duty tomorrow too?"

"Yeah."

"...How...well..."

"The family's fine."

"And the funeral?"

"It was fine."

"You seem to be holding up pretty well."

"Yeah, but I think I need another vacation."

"Then take another one - or better yet, just go home."

"Will you cover for me?"

"Maybe. Will do you a favor for me?"

"What kind of favor?"

"I need a fake brother."

"Alright. Stalker problems again?"

"Well, why else would I need a fake brother?"

"You have a real brother."

"Stepbrother, actually, and I'm currently ignoring his existence."

"What did Takuya do this time?"

"Well, he made death threats to a perfectly nice parking valet."

"What did he do? The valet, I mean."

"He _smiled_ at me."

"...the hell?"

"Yep."

"I'm guessing you don't want me to go that far."

"Well...do whatever you want...but don't get caught."

"Ah. So that's the _real _reason you want me to deal with it."

"Shh. If anyone asks, I never told you anything."

"Kind of hard to do that. Shira saw you."

"...really?"

"Yeah."

"Damn. I'll think of something."

"Don't overwhelm yourself. Thinking is something that takes adjusting, you know...especially if you're out of practice."

"...you're such a jerk."

"I try."


	133. Chapter 133

I have decided. Homework sucks. Hence why this is late.

New AU! **PART TWO!**

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"They call it Death Valley. They weren't kidding."

"What did you think it would be like? Sunshine and rainbows?"

"Well...there's plenty of the first one. Not that it's always a bad thing."

"Says the girl whose skin is all burned up."

"You're not much better, Kouji."

"I'm still _better_."

"Why the hell are you so competitive about _sunburns_?"

"I'm just saying."

"You are horrible."

"Uh huh. You know, if you keep talking, you'll lose more moisture to the environment."

"In other words, shut up?"

"Now you're getting the idea."

"Why do I even bother? It's too hot to argue with you today."

"Che."

"Neh."

"Izumi, did you just stick your tongue out at me? How _old_ are you?"

"Twenty."

"Really? You look younger."

"Good genes."

"...how many of those twenty years have you spent running away from random kidnappers?"

"I don't know...ten?"

"Damn."

"Yeah, I know. It's annoying. No need to tell me."

"At least you're not completely helpless this time."

"Always a good thing."

"Just remember not to point the gun at yourself, alright?"

"I'm not stupid, Kouji."

"Hmm."

"...tracks."

"I see them. You know, for a stalker, he's pretty damn good at getting far away from you."

"He has a high-powered telescope. Doesn't need to get close."

"Probably wants to, though. Don't you get sick of being kidnapped for money?"

"Yeah...sometimes I don't even mind the stalkers. At least they look at me as a human being."

"...You have such a sad life, Izumi."

"Last I checked, your life was pretty miserable too. You don't have any room to talk."

"Actually, I do."

"Oh?"

"I'm less sunburned than you are."

* * *

I did two of these today...still owe you guys the extra two. Geez. School is so uncooperative.


	134. Chapter 134

"Hand me a magnifying glass."

"Sure. What do you need it for?"

"I'm trying to find all the beetle eggs."

"Wha - beetles?"

"Uh huh."

"How on earth - ?"

"They were scattered in the rice."

"...Kouji, what did you do this time?"

"Why do you always think it's _my_ fault?"

"Because it usually is. Am I wrong?"

"This time you are. I had nothing to do with the beetle eggs."

"Uh-huh. So why were they in the rice?"

"That's...well..."

"Okay, Kouji. You have a guilty look on your face. What's up?"

"Did you buy this from the Thai restaurant on the corner?"

"The rice? Yes."

"Well, that's exactly why there are beetle eggs inside."

"I don't follow you."

"The waitress used to be my girlfriend. We didn't exactly part on the best terms."

"So it _is_ your fault!"

"No - it - well - _kind of_."

"Kouji, I swear...you have no social skills with the fairer sex. None."

"Then why did you marry me?"

"It was against my better judgment."

"That doesn't answer my question, Izumi."

"So?"

"If you don't tell me, I'm going to leave the eggs in the rice."

"...sneaky. Eek! Don't wave it so close to my face!"

"Don't freak out so much. They aren't even moving."

"Why exactly am I married to you?"

"That was _my_ question."

* * *

This is the first of three that I'll be posting today. Watch for the other two.


	135. Chapter 135

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Oh...oh my god."

"...Well, I didn't expect _that_."

"You punched the door, and you didn't expect it to break?"

"You didn't answer when I knocked."

"You could have knocked _again_."

"I did, Izumi. Three times, in fact."

"...Well...did it ever cross your mind that knocking it down wouldn't be the greatest of ideas?"

"Why are you giving me such a hard time about this? I was worried that you passed out or something."

"I have a _cell phone_, Kouji."

"You didn't answer your door, why should I expect you to answer your cell phone?"

"Because - oh, whatever. Arguing about this is just a waste of time."

"Do you want another door?"

"Uh...yes?"

"Okay. Let's go."

"Wha - ? But there's nothing to keep the thieves from getting in!"

"There's nothing of value in there, Izumi."

"My computer?"

"Take it out."

"My television?"

"Nobody is going to steal a microwave-sized thing like that, Izumi."

"...but..."

"Izumi, there's nothing of value in your room, besides you yourself."

"I'm valuable? Aw, thanks."

"You're welcome?"

"I'm still mad, by the way."

"Of course."

"No, really."

"Of course."


	136. Chapter 136

"Do you want some ice cream?"

"Not really. "

"You don't look good."

"Oh?"

"...well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Which is why you're rejecting _ice cream_."

"..."

"Your universal comfort food."

"..."

"That always makes you feel better."

"Fine. I'll take some."

"Honestly, Izumi, you don't have to tell me what's wrong...just give me a sign that you're not plotting my death."

"..."

"Ah. That's better."

"Thanks."

"No problem. What's up?"

"Just got back from a parent teacher conference."

"What happened?"

"Well...let's just say that the teacher isn't so happy that I ignore her in class."

"But you get decent grades."

"She's a new teacher, Kouji. Doesn't really understand the culture here."

"I don't blame her. Sometimes even I don't understand it."

"I don't blame her either, but she's trying to get me suspended."

"What?"

"Yeah..."

"Is that all?"

"...Suspension isn't a big deal to you?"

"Not really. You can get homeschooled and still go to college. Not that important."

"You're so weird, Kouji..."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"It's disputable."

"Ah...but back to your story?"

"Oh, fine. Can't we just argue about how weird you are?"

"No, that's not interesting."

"I guess not, since it's already a proven fact."


	137. Chapter 137

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, you are going to sit down and explain this to me."

"...Wait...why are you here?"

"Because I figured that it would be better to talk to you in person."

"Oh. Well..."

"...well?"

"What's the problem?"

"It's right in front of you. Have you gone blind within the last two seconds or something? Do I need to move closer?"

"Smart aleck."

"Whatever works."

"Why don't we sit down? This might take a while."

"I just want a short, brief, rational explanation..."

"Kouji, that's not possible. You're a teenager asking a teenager about something that's been in the workings for as long as humans have been around."

"So? Figure out how to do the impossible, then."

"I'm not omnipotent or anything, you know."

"Whatever you say, Izumi."

"Plus, I have to go soon."

"You have enough time to deal with _this_."

"I'm not kidding, Kouji. I really need to leave."

"That's the excuse you used last time. _And_ the time before that. Stop avoiding the subject."

"But - "

"No buts."

"I - "

"No. None of that. Sit down."

"Fine...Why are people staring at us?"

"It's probably your fault. Now turn around and explain this physics problem to me."

"You don't have to be so persistent about it..."


	138. Chapter 138

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Whatcha reading, Kouji?"

"Nothing."

"...But you're looking at the computer."

"It's called staring blankly at the screen."

"But if there's something _on_ the screen, you're _subconsciously_ reading it."

"I'm already finished with it."

"...Fine. What _were_ you reading?"

"Something so strange and bizarre that it took me fifteen minutes to fully absorb the implications."

"Why are you talking like a professor? You only do that when you want to make fun of someone."

"I guess that you know what to expect, then."

"...I guess. Here we go again."

"Did you know that you're not supposed to be blond anymore?"

"Huh? Wait - what?"

"I'm trying to answer your question. The first one, I mean."

"You were reading about blonds?"

"Blond hair, actually."

"But blond hair isn't strange or bizarre...it's just normal."

"Not in Japan."

"Kouji, I've been friends with you since we were ten. It took you this long to get curious about my hair?"

"Well, you see...the article was about the extinction of blonds."

"..."

"But that's not the important part."

"...what was the _important_ part, then?"

"Supposedly, blond hair fades when people get older. That means that you - as in_ you_ specifically - aren't supposed to be blond anymore."

"I'm not. My natural hair color is actually light brown now."

"...wait, _what_?"

"I've been dying it for five years."

"..."

"Wow, Kouji. You never realized that?"

"..."

"You look like a kid who just discovered that his childhood was a lie."

"That's a pretty accurate description, actually..."


	139. Chapter 139

Try to guess what kind of relationship they have. It may or may not be obvious.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I hate it when you act like this."

"You hate it no matter what I do."

"That's not true..."

"It might as well be."

"You've already been in three fights this month. I think I have the right to be pissed off."

"Hey, _he_ threw the first punch. Not my fault."

"Chances are, it's _completely_ your fault."

"You don't even know what happened."

"I don't need to."

"Look, Izumi, I don't mind it when you get mad at me, but I _do_ mind when you assume that I'm always the bad guy."

"...Sorry."

"Whatever."

"You could at least say that _it's okay_, you know."

"But it's not okay. You throw tantrums at the wrong people. That's just stupid and childish."

"I'm not stupid _or_ childish."

"Really?"

"_Yes, _really."

"Is that why you don't like to be alone?"

"...that was a low blow, Kouji."

"It was. I'm sorry."

"It's not okay."

"Oh, fine. We'll talk about this later. I have to go to the marketplace."

"Go ahead. It's not like you'll miss me."

"...that's not entirely true."

"But it's _partially_ true, isn't it?"

"...Let's go inside, Izumi."

"What about dinner?"

"We'll buy some from the corner shop. We really need to talk."

"We're talking right now, aren't we?"

"No, I mean...whatever. Fine. I'll go to the market."

"..."

"..."

"Are you going to go or not? Make up your damn mind."

"I can't decide. Should I risk your wrath by going to the store, or should I risk your wrath by staying here?"


	140. Chapter 140

Continued from yesterday. Just realized that asking you to guess what kind of relationship they have is really unfair. Ah, whatever.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why are you so impatient? We can talk later, can't we?"

"No, because then we'll keep putting it off."

"I want to find a crowbar, Kouji..."

"Junpei has one. You can ask him for it later."

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Nothing much. I just wanted to make some things clear."

"Fine."

"Just now, you said that I wouldn't really miss you."

"Are you telling me that I'm wrong?"

"Not really."

"Well, then..."

"Just listen to me for a bit, you little idiot."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do."

"No, it isn't."

"Get back on topic, Kouji. Back on topic."

"Fine. There's a reason I wouldn't miss you too much. I'm not stupid enough to get attached to random strangers. Most people don't survive very long out here."

"I'm not exactly a random stranger, you know."

"Still. I hardly know you."

"Fine. I get it. I wasn't being fair. Can I go now?"

"You sound like a moody teenager, Izumi."

"I have the right to be moody."

"No more than anyone else."

"You're probably right. There are lots of orphans nowadays..."

"I guess I'm one of the lucky ones."

"Lucky? Your father threw you out."

"At least I have a father."

"But he doesn't care about you, Kouji."

"I should hope not. He gets violent when he cares."

"...our lives really, really suck, don't they?"

"Depends on who you're asking."


	141. Chapter 141

Continued from yesterday. I guess I'll tell you what kind of living situation they're in, because I completely forgot. This is the Quarantine AU. You could say that it's like a village for the terminally ill...only, not really.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why didn't you just go to the market, Kouji? I don't like the food at the corner store."

"We spent too much time talking. The vendors already left."

"Oh. It's only five o'clock, though."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Why do they leave so early?"

"No reason."

"I doubt that."

"Doubt it all you like. Nobody cares."

"Jerk."

"Sometimes it's better to be an honest jerk than a kind idiot."

"I'd rather be a kind idiot than an honest jerk, Kouji."

"Then you really _are_ an idiot."

"I don't care, Kouji."

"Fine."

"...Ugh."

"What?"

"I have no idea what this is, but it doesn't look good."

"That's meat."

"It looks like liver."

"Liver _is_ meat."

"Not for normal people."

"How many times do we have to go over this? You're not considered a person anymore. Suck it up and start eating."

"Why, Kouji, I had no idea that you cared."

"Well, neither did I."

"..."

"...I didn't mean it."

"Mean what?_ Suck it up and start eating?_"

"No, the stuff before that."

"Ah."

"..."

"Apology accepted."

"...okay."

"You're welcome."


	142. Chapter 142

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...why is our mailbox so full today?"

"Another group is going to move in with us."

"What? But - "

"The west side of town burned down. They lost their apartment."

"_What_? How come I didn't know about this?"

"Because people avoid me, and you hang around me, and therefore people avoid _you_."

"But you're really not that bad."

"Tell that to the guy I put in the hospital."

"You put someone in the hospital?"

"Yes."

"But there aren't any hospitals around here."

"…it was a figure of speech."

"Ah, I see. Did you beat him up? What am I saying...Of course you beat him up."

"They sent him to the clinic. It's been three weeks. He's still there."

"...what did you do?"

"We fought."

"Obviously, but _why_?"

"There are a number of very good reasons."

"Like?"

"He was stealing food."

"…"

"Well? Are you going to lecture me?"

"I hate to say it, Kouji…but you did the right thing."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did. Now _hush_ before I change my mind."

"I did the right thing?"

"Hush!"

"_I_ did the right thing?"

"Huuuush!"

"I did the _right thing_?"

"For Christ's sake–"

"You should have a funeral for your conscience."

"That's beyond the point!"

"My work here is done."

"Didn't I tell you to hush?"

"You did, in fact. On the other hand, I don't remember agreeing to it."


	143. Chapter 143

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You know, Kouji..."

"What?"

"I used to think you were way too pretty to be heterosexual."

"..._WHAT_?"

"No need to get so upset, sheesh."

"I am _not_ a girl."

"Of course you aren't - but there's nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side. Don't get so defensive."

"Izumi...how would _you_ react if I called you a manly girl?"

"...Hmm."

"You actually have to think about it?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"...and?"

"I would probably assume that you were teasing me."

"Are _you_ teasing _me_?"

"Not really..."

"..."

"Kouji, if you keep rubbing your forehead like that, you're going to get acne."

"I honestly don't care."

"But you have nice skin."

"I. Don't. Care."

"You should."

"..."

"Stop that! Your fingers have oil on them and it's not good for your pores."

"..."

"What?"

"I'm done with this conversation."

"Oh. Okay."

"...That was too easy. What kind of conspiracy are you planning _this_ time?"

"What? I'm not planning anything."

"Lies."

"I'm not lying!"

"Then why're you smiling like that?"

"I was just thinking...if you were a girl and I were a guy, would we still be dating?"

* * *

Going to post the continuation of this today. In total, that's three posts...I don't owe you guys anymore, hooray!


	144. Chapter 144

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I was just thinking...if you were a girl and I were a guy, would we still be dating?"

"That's actually an interesting question. Would we?"

"I don't know, Kouji. It might have been easier."

"How?"

"Well, it's kind of awkward when your boyfriend is prettier than you."

"I am _not_ prettier than you."

"Stop denying it, Kouji. Denial is bad for you."

"Why don't you take your own advice?"

"Well...I'm not in denial."

"See? You're even in denial about being in denial."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"You're so stubborn. Don't you know how many girls like you?"

"Popularity and attractiveness aren't necessarily the same thing, Izumi."

"They're usually related, though."

"Usually. Maybe."

"You know what? Let's flip a coin. Loser has to accept being prettier than the winner."

"But coin tosses aren't completely fair."

"Uh, Kouji...if coin tosses aren't fair, then what _is_?"

"Well, it's easier to land on heads than tails."

"..."

"Statistically proven."

"Fine. Rock, paper, scissors?"

"What about a dice roll?"

"...Fine, I'll be even numbers."

"I'll be odds."

"...six. Oh, it fell on the floor. Doesn't count."

"Do it again, Izumi."

"Five. Drat."

"I win. That means _you're_ prettier."

"...Don't rub it in."

"I'll try not to."

* * *

And that's all. Hooray for random conversations. The person who requested this - you know who you are - I hope you enjoyed it.


	145. Chapter 145

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You need to eat this, Izumi."

"But...it doesn't...look good."

"What are you talking about? Sushi is delicious."

"It's raw!"

"So? You eat fruits and vegetables raw, don't you?"

"That's different!"

"How?"

"_Meat_ is supposed to be cooked!"

"But you've eaten a rare steak before, haven't you?"

"...that's steak, though."

"And this is sushi. It's the same principle. Leaving it raw makes the flavor come out."

"Kouji, you don't understand."

"You're right. I don't."

"Can't I just have a California roll?"

"No. You should try new things every once in a while."

"Fine. If I get salmonella, I'm blaming you."

"Go ahead."

"..."

"How is it?"

"It's...odd."

"But not bad."

"No, it's not bad. I just need some time to get used to it."

"I told you so."

"Oh, shut up."

"I can't. I'm enjoying this too much."

"...enjoying my suffering? Typical, Kouji."

"Last I checked, suffering is _not_ defined by eating sushi at a nice restaurant."

"Well...definitions change."

"I'm sure they do."

"...I need to take you to Italy next time. Maybe you can try some Casu Marzu."

"Some what?"

"It's a kind of cheese."

"Oh, alright."

"..."

"Why are you laughing?"

* * *

To be continued...for those who don't know what Casu Marzu is, the Internet is your friend.


	146. Chapter 146

I have good news and bad things. The good news is that I have the time to post this. The bad news is that I'm posting late. Which means I'm behind. Again.

This is to be continued...tomorrow...or later today...depending on my schedule.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So this...is Casu Marzu."

"Yep."

"Maggot cheese."

"Yep."

"...why on earth would _anyone_ eat that? It's basically rotten."

"Lots of tasty foods are basically rotten, Kouji."

"But they don't have live maggots in them."

"So? Blue cheese has _mold_."

"I don't like blue cheese either."

"Have you ever tried it?"

"Yes - kind of."

"Hmph. How is it possible to _kind of_ try something? You've either had it or you haven't."

"I had a teaspoon."

"Then you _have_ tried it. Simple as that."

"Fine."

"...Well, are you going to eat it or not?"

"Izumi, how on earth do you expect me to eat this? The maggots are...jumping."

"That's because they're alive."

"Wow, _I didn't know that_."

"Shush. It's a good sign."

"How on earth is that a good sign?"

"It means that the cheese isn't too rotten to eat."

"I beg to differ."

"Hey, the people around here have been eating this stuff for years and it hasn't killed them yet."

"Must have killed their brain cells, though. That's why they keep eating it."


	147. Chapter 147

Just to keep a tally...I owe you guys one extra.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I think that I'm going to be sick."

"I think so too."

"You're such a nurturing, loving human being."

"...I think so too."

"Izumi..."

"Woah, you okay?"

"...Fine. I'm fine."

You didn't even eat that much."

"One teaspoon. God. Never going to do that again."

"Idiot. I didn't expect you to actually _eat _it."

"Then why did you get it?"

"Um...I wanted to see your reaction?"

"What a well thought out plan, Izumi. Very well thought out."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"...No comment."

"Maybe next time I'll let you try something else - "

"_No_."

"Come on! It won't be as bad as the cheese. That was a one-time deal, I promise."

"That's not saying very much, Izumi."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you, but I do _not_ trust your food sense."

"It hasn't killed you yet, has it?"

"_Yet_."

"Don't be so stubborn. Try something new for once."

"I did. That was the entire point of eating maggot cheese. I'm not doing it again, Izumi. Not unless you pay me well."

"...Just curious, Kouji...what would I have to pay you to make it worth your while?"

"Do my homework for two weeks."

"Done."

"...wait, _what_?"

"You didn't specify _which_ two weeks. How about summer vacation?"

"..."

"Well?"

"...Damn it."


	148. Chapter 148

Just to keep a tally...I owe you guys one extra.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"It wasn't so bad this time."

"That's because you ate less, Kouji."

"Probably...but there will be no more maggot cheese. Ever."

"Oh, fine."

"You owe me a visit to the sushi bar."

"Not again!"

"Hey, I'm not even going to make you eat anything."

"That's a first."

"Trust me, I know."

"Why do you want to go?"

"I want to wash out the taste of rotten cheese."

"It's not rotten. We've gone over this."

"I'm still not convinced, Izumi."

"No surprise there..."

"..."

"...Hey, Kouji?"

"Hm?"

"Did the maggots really bother you?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you eat the cheese?"

"I don't know. Stupid pride, I guess. Why did _you_ eat the sushi?"

"Because I was curious. You always have sushi for lunch."

"You actually notice these things, Izumi?"

"Only because there's nothing else to do at lunchtime. You're pretty much the master of awkward silences."

"Not anymore."

"Who are you kidding?"

"What do you mean? I'm not that awkward."

"..."

"...Right?"

"Uh-huh. Sure. You're not awkward, and pigs can fly."

"Actually, they can...if you put them on a plane."

"..."

"..."

"...maybe you _have_ gotten better at this whole conversation thing."


	149. Chapter 149

Just to keep a tally...I owe you guys one extra.

New universe! Prompt: modern arranged marriage.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, do my eyes deceive me...or is that a black eye?"

"It's not a black eye."

"...Really?"

"Really."

"Then why is your eyelid all puffy?"

"I got a mosquito bite."

"On your _eyelid_?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"Don't they usually bite arms and legs?"

"Yes."

"But - but - your reflexes."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're fast enough to slap a mosquito before it even lands on you. I know you are. You've done it in front of me. Repeatedly."

"I think the mosquito bit me while I was asleep."

"But you never sleep."

"What? Where did you get that idea?"

"I've called you at four in the morning. You always pick up at the _first ring_."

"To be fair, that was during exam week, and very few people sleep well during exam week."

"I do."

"That's because you don't really care, Izumi."

"Who actually does?"

"I don't know. Parents, maybe?"

"Do yours?"

"Do mine what?"

"Do yours care? Because my parents don't."

"Izumi..."

"What?"

"I don't understand how your parents can be so obnoxiously nice and so obnoxiously mean at the same time."

"I don't either - but it's just the way they are. They don't want to change."

"...Is that always a bad thing?"

"Well - it's kind of convenient, actually. I've got a good excuse when the douchebags at school ask me out."


	150. Chapter 150

Continuation from yesterday! Except, you know, it's all disjointed because I skipped a lot of time.

Modern arranged marriage.

ALSO, one hundred reviews. Hooray!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why the hell does this have to happen now?"

"Why are you asking _me_?"

"I don't know. I don't _know_. Just...go away."

"I live here, Izumi. And I'm studying."

"Then shut up and study."

"That's what I'm trying to do."

"Okay. Okay. Then...oh, fine. I'm going for a walk."

"It's pouring outside."

"I have an - "

"Your umbrella broke two weeks ago."

"Then - "

"And your poncho is too small for you."

"How on earth do you know these things, Kouji?"

"You complain about them all the time."

"...and you _listen_?"

"Not purposefully, no."

"That sounds more like you."

"Is there a point to this conversation?"

"...Kouji, doesn't it bother you at all?"

"Not really. If we're going to get married, there's no difference between doing it now and doing it later."

"But they told me that I would have time to get used to the idea."

"There won't be an actual wedding until we're in college."

"..."

"Does that help?"

"Is it _supposed_ to help?"


	151. Chapter 151

Continuation from yesterday!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi."

"What."

"I think I found a loophole."

"What?"

"I said - "

"I know what you said. What do you _mean_? I've looked over the contract a hundred times. There's nothing."

"You haven't been looking hard enough."

"Uh-huh."

"There _is_ something."

"Do tell."

"But you're not going to like it."

"Of course I won't. Tell me anyway."

"The contract says that if we get married legally before your twentieth birthday - then we'll be stuck. No divorce."

"Right...I already knew that, Kouji."

"Do you know what it means to be legally married?"

"Of course - "

"Then listen carefully. The easiest way to nullify our marriage is to get married to other people."

"...wait, what?"

"Let me put it this way. If you're already married to someone else, it definitely won't be legal to marry _me._"

"That's good and all, but do you really think I'll be able to find someone else in _two weeks_?"

"You're rich, Izumi. It should be a piece of cake."

"That...well...maybe."

"Something wrong?"

"...No, not really. I'm just surprised."

"About?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Hm."

"...You're not going to interrogate me until I tell you everything?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No! I mean...no."

"Then there's no point."

"You're not even the slightest bit curious?"

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back."

"Tell me, Izumi, have you _ever_ known me to be satisfied with _anything_?"

"...Oh. Good point."


	152. Chapter 152

Continuation from yesterday!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Twelve days left, Izumi."

"Yeah, I know. I haven't seen anyone interesting yet."

"They don't have to be interesting."

"I don't want to have a boring marriage."

"You only have to put up with it until you're twenty."

"I won't be able to put up with it for a _week,_ much less two years, Kouji."

"Interesting people aren't _that_ hard to come by."

"What's _your_ definition of interesting?"

"Someone who's willing to go to jail for their beliefs."

"...You know what, Kouji, I have a better idea."

"What kind of better idea?"

"Why don't _you_ go find yourself a wife?"

"Not worth the effort."

"Really? It'd be easy for you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Easier for me than for you?"

"Of course. All _you_ have to do is run to some random prison and bail somebody out."

"...Izumi, I didn't mean that _literally_."

"Then say what you mean next time."

"..."

"...Kouji?"

"Hm?"

"You're the one who found the loophole. Why aren't you using it?"

"Not really interested."

"...seriously?"

"Mmhmm."

"You don't mind having your wife _chosen for you?_"

"Why would I? You're entertaining."


	153. Chapter 153

Continuation from two days ago. Sorry for being late.

I now owe you guys two extras.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Two days."

"I know."

"Are you ready to give up yet?"

"I don't know."

"You should decide quickly."

"Decide what?"

"Whether or not you'll go through with it."

"...Hey, Kouji. If I run away from home until I'm twenty, wouldn't that work just as well?"

"Yeah."

"...then why am I looking for a guy to elope with?"

"Because you want to?"

"Not really."

"Then don't do it."

"...it sounds so simple when you put it like that."

"It _is_ that simple."

"Are you telling me that I should run away instead?"

"If you like."

"Aaargh. You make it sound like you don't care at all."

"Probably because I don't."

"...I find that hard to believe."

"I'm not nearly as opinionated as you are, Izumi."

"It's not about being opinionated. If you don't care, then why did you help me?"

"I helped you?"

"You're the one who found the loophole."

"Oh. Right. That."

"Yes. _That_."

"I guess you could always chalk it up to temporary insanity."

"..."

"You have a hard slap. It actually hurts."

"It does?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course it does."

"Good."


	154. Chapter 154

Continuation from today. Here's the end of this arc.

I now owe you guys one extra.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Nngh. Kouji, I think I just stabbed myself with a rose thorn."

"Are you - damn it. Where's the first aid kit?"

"Did anybody think to _bring_ one?"

"Your whole family is here. Chances are, _somebody_ remembered."

"I still don't get why they came. We're just doing the paperwork today."

"I don't get your family in general."

"Neither do I."

"That makes two of us. Here. Bandaids."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"..."

"...Well, this is awkward."

"Yeah...it is. Thank you, by the way."

"No need to thank me. You were bleeding. It was just common sense."

"I'm not really talking about the bandaid, Kouji."

"Oh. Well, no need to thank me for the roses, either. That was also common sense."

"What - never mind. I'm not talking about the _roses_ either."

"Then what _are_ you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your _patience_."

"But I don't really have any...?"

"For crying out loud - do you have some kind of problem with people thanking you?"

"Yes, I do."

"...At least you don't have problems with denial, I guess."

"Well, actually..."

"Don't tell me. You _do_?"

"No, no, I was going to say that you have enough problems with denial for both of us."

"...Kouji?"

"Hm?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that shutting your mouth every once in a while would be a good thing to do?"

"I _do_. Otherwise, it would be impossible to swallow food."


	155. Chapter 155

Scientists AU.

I owe you guys two extra again...thank god it's Friday.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Good god, Orimoto, can you go _one freaking day_ without breaking something?"

"I don't know - I don't - I'm sorry."

"..."

"It was only a volumetric flask, signor."

"Yes. Only a volumetric flask. Only the _third_ volumetric flask that you've dropped."

"Well...yes?"

"And you've only been here for a week."

"Well..."

"You're seriously a walking health hazard."

"I'm _sorry_."

"You should be."

"Signor, really. That was unnecessary. Give me the bill and let me go finish the last test."

"If I let you go, you'll just break something else."

"No, I won't. Seriously."

"..."

"Alright. Fine. I won't touch anything."

"Good."

"...the gel's done. Could you please move it to the staining tray?"

"Get the assistant to do it."

"He's not here right now."

"...Fine."

"Thank you, signor."

"Are you done yet?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"I suppose I'll leave you to your experiments."

"Good."

"...Signor."

"What."

"Could you open the door for me? I don't think I can do it without touching something."

".._._"

"Signor, hitting your head against the desk is not going to help me open the door."


	156. Chapter 156

Scientists AU.

I owe you guys one extra now.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Over a hundred dollars in broken glassware. How on earth do you do that?"

"It isn't my fault that the flasks are so delicate."

"Don't you ever work with glass in your lab?"

"...I don't have a lab."

"Wait - then why did they send you over here?"

"Good recommendations."

"From who?"

"A professor at the University."

"...You're a _student_?"

"Not really."

"What does _that_ mean? Either you are or you aren't."

"It's not that simple, signor."

"Fine. Let me rephrase. Are you taking classes?"

"No."

"Then you aren't."

"Signor, I've never taken a college class before. Why would I take one now?"

"..."

"...Signor, what are you doing?"

"I'm sending my employer a request to have his sanity checked."

"I'm afraid that I don't understand."

"What don't you understand, Orimoto?"

"Why are you so worried about me being a student or not?"

"Why? _Why_? Are you seriously asking that question?"

"Yes, I am - and I'd like an answer."

"Hm, well, I don't know. Maybe I actually _like_ having competent people in my lab."

"I'm competent enough."

"At breaking things, maybe."

"That's not the only thing I'm good at."

"That's true. You're also extraordinarily good at making me want to kill someone."

"...I was under the impression that you don't need my help for that."


	157. Chapter 157

Scientists AU.

I owe you guys one extra.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You don't seem to be terribly happy with me, Signor."

"Really. Can't possibly imagine why."

"How was I supposed to know that you were going to use the entire lab today?"

"It's Thursday."

"...and I'm supposed to assume that you were going to use the entire lab because it's _Thursday_?"

"Everyone but me has time off on Thursdays."

"Why didn't anyone tell me about that?"

"Who knows."

"I think that your lab assistants hate me."

"No, they don't hate _you_."

"...huh?"

"They hate _me_."

"...Oh. Well...at least it makes sense."

"What makes sense?"

"Them hating you."

"Orimoto, I'm only going to say this once - and if anyone asks, it didn't happen."

"Say what?"

"Fuck you."

"...You actually curse a lot, don't you?"

"No. Like I said, it _didn't happen_."


	158. Chapter 158

Scientists AU.

I owe you guys one extra. Also, I'm trying to pick which multichapter fic to update first...any suggestions?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What about this?"

"That's not going to work."

"You didn't even look at it."

"I did. It's not going to work."

"Signor, a millisecond is not enough to tell if something's wrong!"

"It wasn't a millisecond."

"Well, fine. A _nano_second."

"It was _not_ a nanosecond - why am I even arguing this with you?"

"It's because some secret part of you actually enjoys social interaction. No matter how small."

"..."

"...you're right. That just sounds wrong. I take it back."

"You'd _better_."

"Do you really enjoy being anti-social that much?"

"No."

"...do you enjoy anything at all?"

"Not really."

"That's a shame."

"Orimoto, my personal life is not your business."

"Signor, I don't think you _have_ a personal life."

"Well, that's not your business either."

"I notice that you don't deny it..."


	159. Chapter 159

To Hana, thank you! And as a matter of fact, AYDSTU is not complete. Not by a long shot.

Sorry for the inbox spam, but it refused to upload properly...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to reorganize data."

"But we haven't gotten the final results back yet."

"I'm not doing anything to the final results."

"...then what are you doing?"

"None of your business."

"Signor...what is...that's the virus."

"Didn't I say that it was none of your business?"

"When did you get this? I thought that only members of the original team could access the files - "

"..."

"Oh. _Oh_."

"Orimoto, you're going to turn around and forget that you ever saw this."

"I wish I could. What you're doing right now is probably illegal and _definitely_ immoral - "

"But somebody has do it."

"Does Lobo-san know?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Signor..."

"Are you going to try to talk me out of it?"

"I would if I thought it would help."

"At this point, it's too late for anyone to help, much less _you_."

"I'm still going to try."

"You're setting yourself up for disappointment."

"No more than you are."

"Hm?"

"I mean, you're trying to _save the world_. I'd be shocked if you succeeded."

"I'd be even more shocked than you."


	160. Chapter 160

Scientists AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What the hell did you do to my computer?"

"...Signor?"

"What. The Hell. Did you do. To my computer?"

"I didn't do anything. I just got here."

"You were the first one here this morning."

"Yes, I was. What does that have to do with - "

"And somebody cut the power cord."

"...Oh."

"Explain yourself."

"I didn't do it."

"Huh."

"You don't believe me?"

"I locked up the lab last night. You opened up this morning."

"But I didn't do it!"

"..."

"I don't have a good enough reason to do something like that, signor."

"Huh."

"You don't believe me."

"Unfortunately, I do."

"Wait, so why did you accuse me?"

"It was the easiest way to rule you out, Orimoto."

"As a suspect?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

"You...you..."

"What?"

"That was scary. I thought you were going to fire me."

"Why would I fire you? You're too useful - and easy to use."

"I'm going to assume that you were trying to compliment me."

"Not really, but if it helps you sleep at night..."

"Signor, I haven't slept for days - and you _know it_."

"In that case, maybe you should have let me fire you."


	161. Chapter 161

Scientists AU - and now we get to the action.

Also, I don't owe you guys anymore!

Thanks to all my readers for being patient.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey."

"...nngh?"

"Get up. We're going to the lab."

"Signor, it's too late for this..."

"Actually, it's too _early_."

"Then why are you here...?"

"Because you need to get up."

"Why?"

"Someone broke in."

"...into my apartment?"

"No, you idiot! The lab!"

"Oh. Oh! Oh, no."

"It looks like the power cord wasn't just a fluke."

"Damn. Did they take your computer?"

"No. That's the strange thing. It was completely untouched."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"I wish I knew."

"You don't sound too optimistic."

"I'm not."

"Great. Just great. The first night off I've had since you roped me into helping out with your pet project - and you ruined it."

"Not intentionally."

"So they all say."

"I mean it."

"_So they all say_. How on earth did you get into my room?"

"Sulfuric acid. Your lock isn't all that great."

"_What?_"

"It was a joke, Orimoto."

"You? Joke? Am I dreaming?"

"No."

"So _that_ was a joke?"

"Yes. It was a joke."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Signor...stick to your day job, okay?"


	162. Chapter 162

Scientists AU

It's annoying that every time I catch up, I fall behind again.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Godammit."

"What's going on, signor?"

"Take a look."

"Is that..."

"Yes."

"Why is the law enforcement involved?"

"Because attacking a federal building - even if it's not really connected to the government - is a felony."

"We didn't do anything."

"No, of course not."

"So why are they here?"

"It's just security - and surveillance."

"How are you so sure?"

"I've dealt with something like this before."

"...oh, really."

"Stop trying to sound clever. If you have something to say, say it."

"Fine. Why do you have the files, signor?"

"_The_ files?"

"Yes, of course. What other files would I be talking about?"

"My father was on the team that developed the virus for chemical warfare."

"He told you?"

"I found out."

"By asking him?"

"He's dead."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

"You're horrible."

"So was he."


	163. Chapter 163

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What - when - is that what I think it is?"

"I'm not psychic. How do you expect me to answer that question?"

"Answer to the best of your ability."

"What is this, a test?"

"It's a test of your sanity."

"Oh?"

"And a test of your sobriety."

"Did I pass?"

"Hell no...Give that bottle to me."

"No. Absolutely not."

"Have you gone _mad_?"

"Not really."

"Somehow, I can't bring myself to believe you."

"Believe what you like. It's not like it has anything to do with me."

"...You are the most coherent drunk I have ever met."

"I'm not drunk, actually."

"Huh."

"Honestly."

"Why were you drinking at all?"

"Complicated story, Orimoto."

"I've got time."

"We have a deadline for the apocalypse, and you have _time_?"

"Huh. We have a deadline for the apocalypse, and you have time to _drink_?"

"Point taken."


	164. Chapter 164

Scientists AU...

Forgot to tell you guys that the previous one is still set in the same universe.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Can you walk, signor?"

"I told you, I'm not drunk."

"I was just checking. Don't want you to drop any beakers today."

"You're a very considerate girl."

"Of course I am. I plan to completely revamp your finances by the end of the year."

"That is, _if_ we're still alive by then."

"I'd like to believe that your brain is good enough to get the country out of this mess."

"What confidence."

"Considering that your brain was good enough to get us _into_ this mess, it's not confidence at all."

"I did nothing of the sort."

"Wasn't it your fault that the infection went overseas?"

"Not intentionally."

"Which means...?"

"They asked me to engineer a new kind of virus - "

"How much?"

"Pardon?"

"How much did they pay you to do it?"

"...sixty million yen."

"I knew it. It was the money."

"Of course it was."

"I feel so much better knowing that the fate of the world is worth sixty million yen."

* * *

Caught up again! Two posts today!


	165. Chapter 165

Scientists AU, finale!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Somebody really, _really_ doesn't like you, signor."

"Huh. And here I was thinking...that breaking into my lab...was a sign of affection."

"Stop talking. You're bleeding."

"Not that much."

"You can't _stand_."

"Because I'm...bleeding."

"So how is it _not bad_?"

"Never said...it wasn't bad."

"But you - never mind. Forget everything I just said."

"I always do...but thanks for the...reminder."

"Signor?"

"What?"

"Your sarcasm is still pretty good when you're injured. I just thought you'd like to know that."

"Great, I can rest...in peace...now."

"Please don't. You need to solve the apocalypse first."

"...damn."

"How's the wound? I took the bullet out."

"Hurts..."

"Well, obviously. I'm just asking if it hurts too much to keep working on the second part of the antibody structure."

"...Don't think...so. Give me the chart."

"Here."

"Can't read this...my vision's..."

"Signor?"

"...damn."

"Signor, if you can't do it, it's fine."

"When did I say...that?"

"Don't be so stubborn. Here."

"What's..."

"It's a temporary bandage."

"From...a lab coat?"

"It was convenient."

"Don't go around...ripping my lab coats. They're good...quality."

"I'm sure they are, but I'm also sure that they're not worth as much as your life."

"Some people would...disagree."

"Like the guy who shot you?"

"Precisely."

"Well, he probably had a good reason for it..."

"_Comforting_. And I...figured it out. Here."

"Excellent! I knew we could count on you until the very end!"

"Now...can I go...die in peace?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"I don't know what name to put on your grave."

"You don't know my...name? Idiot."

"Nope. Why do you think I've been calling you signor?"

"Do you want to...know?"

"What do you think?"

"Well...it's - "

"I'm not listening...Lalala. I'm not listening."

"What on earth...?"

"I'm not listening, so you might as well give up on dying."

"That's...the stupidest reason to live...I've ever heard."

"Is it working?"

"...not really, but I'll try...to stay alive...so that you have time to think of a better one. Don't want to die...listening to something...so pathetic."

"Whatever you say, signor. Whatever you say."


	166. Chapter 166

Let's go fishing AU

Running behind by four. Physics, how I dislike you.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What on earth are you doing?"

"Going out."

"With a can of _worms_?"

"I found them in the garden."

"...That's not what I was asking."

"I don't see how it's any of your business."

"It's not."

"Then leave me alone."

"I'll consider it, Minamoto-_kun_."

"Please _do_."

"...is that a _fishing pole_?"

"No."

"Liar. Why are you going fishing?"

"Because I want fish."

"But why? Is there something appealing about taking slimy things out of polluted water?"

"It's not polluted. That's just algae."

"No, that's the toxic waste from the factory upstream."

"I'll keep that in mind next time I want to poison someone."

"Why would you do that? There are better ways to get rid of people."

"Not people like _you_. Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"

"Didn't I tell you that I'll _consider it_?"

"There. You just proved my point."

"...and?"

"...Hey, how much do you weigh? I want to see if it's feasible to throw you into the water."


	167. Chapter 167

Let's go fishing AU

Running behind by four. Physics, how I dislike you.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You're like a mosquito."

"Am I bothering you? Sor-ry."

"...Why are you still following me?"

"I'm not following you. I'm just walking in the same direction."

"That's the same thing."

"Not really...I'm going to the _store_. You're going to the _lake_."

"No, I'm not."

"What? Then why are you holding a fishing rod?"

"There aren't any lakes around here, woman."

"Are you serious? Old Man Silvan has one. It's maybe fifty feet from here."

"You've never seen a real lake then. That's a _pond_."

"That's not a pond. It takes fifteen minutes to cross with a whole team of rowers."

"Weak rowers, maybe."

"Like you have any room to talk, city boy."

"I do, in fact. Take a look at this. What is it?"

"It's...a pebble."

"And this?"

"A boulder."

"Are they the same thing?"

"No, they aren't - but that doesn't mean ponds and lakes are as different as pebbles and boulders."

"Oh really?"

"...what?"

"Nothing. You're delusional, that's all."

"So I've heard."

"...that was an insult, you know."

"It wasn't a very good one. Minamoto-kun, maybe you should hang around me more often."

"But you're absolutely horrible at insulting people."

"Exactly. Learn from me. If you can't think of a good insult, don't even try."

"...in other words, you're nice to people because you're too lazy to insult them?"


	168. Chapter 168

Let's go fishing AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I'm out of worms."

"Same here."

"...why are you even here?"

"No reason, really. I just wanted to see if fish actually live in this lake."

"It's not a lake."

"According to _you_."

"According to people in general. Even the old man calls it a pond."

"What? He does not."

"He calls it _laghetto_. That means pond, doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't. It means...uh..."

"...Well?"

"Something like a small lake."

"Which is a _pond_."

"No way, Minamoto. A pond is a pond. A lake is a lake."

"And this is a pond."

"No, it isn't. It's not that small."

"Depends. It's very large compared to the size of your brain, for example."

"..."

"What? It's true."

"It's also very large compared to the quality of your personality, Minamoto."


	169. Chapter 169

Let's go fishing AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 3.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Whatever. Arguing about this is just a waste of time."

"So is fishing. You can't eat what you catch here."

"Have you tried?"

"...have you?"

"Not yet."

"What - are you insane? Don't do that! It's really bad for you!"

"It can't possibly be worse than fugu."

"...Fugu?"

"You don't know fugu?"

"I've heard of it before, but I don't know exactly what it is."

"Pufferfish meat."

"Oh! Isn't that poisonous?"

"I was hospitalized after eating it."

"...Damn. Are you a gourmet?"

"Not at all. It was a dare."

"And...is this also a dare?"

"This?"

"Eating fish from Silvan's lake."

"Not really. Is it really polluted? The water looks fine to me."

"Well, kind of. Actually, I'm not sure that you'll end up in the hospital. Maybe just the morgue."

"Oh."

"But if that's what you prefer, hey, go for it."

"No thanks. I'm not suicidal."

"...Hey, Minamoto. You were just screwing with me, weren't you?"

"Hm? When?"

"When you said that you were going to eat the fish."

"Of course. It took you this long to realize?"

"I'm not used to mean people like you, Minamoto."

"You know, if my personality bothers you, there's an easy way to fix it."

"Like what? Feeding you poisoned fish?"

"No, not _that_, although I guess it would work..."

"Then what did you mean?"

"You could just leave me alone."

"But then you'd be alone. And being alone is scary."

"...what are you, five?"

"Fifteen, actually."

"Fift - damn."

"Sorry, Minamoto, fiftdamn is not a real number. I'm _fifteen_."

"Oh, shut up."


	170. Chapter 170

Let's go fishing AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Mosquito."

"I am _not_ a mosquito."

"..."

"...What is it?"

"Why are you still here?"

"My parents sent me with you."

"Your parents?"

"They think that you're going to get lost."

"How on earth is it possible to get lost in a village like this?"

"I don't know. I really don't."

"Hmph. If you're going to be here anyway, hold this for me."

"Like this?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"..."

"Minamoto, you've gotten more patient."

"Not really. _You_'ve gotten more useful."

"I've always been useful. Took you long enough to realize it."

"Useful to who?"

"Useful in general."

"Quito, you're not that useful."

"Quito? _What_?"

"Quito. As in, Mosquito."

"Oh. I thought you were referring to the city in Ecuador."

"Right, because that makes absolute perfect sense."

"Well, you never know. I don't know how your twisted mind works, Minamoto."

"I'm not as twisted as you think."

"...Ahahaha. Very funny, Minamoto."

"That wasn't a joke."

"_Ahahaahahaha_."

"Stop laughing."

"Ah - ah..."

"If you don't stop, you're going to asphyxiate."

"...Minamoto, why on earth do you use words like that in normal conversations?"

"Is there a better way to say it?"

"Choke?"

"Only if there's something to choke _on_ - although I wouldn't be surprised if you somehow managed it with nothing."

"It's a special skill, Minamoto."

"I'm sure it is."


	171. Chapter 171

Let's go fishing AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 3.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Have you actually caught anything?"

"Yeah."

"Really? What kind of fish?"

"It was a boot."

"That's...not a fish."

"No, _really?_"

"Well, I was just pointing out that if you haven't caught a fish yet, there probably aren't any left in the lake."

"Of course."

"Then why are you still fishing?"

"Because I need to get rid of the worms."

"Couldn't you just...I don't know, drop them somewhere?"

"That would be a waste of money."

"...I can tell that you're _not_ an animal rights advocate."

"What does that have to do with anything - hang on."

"Did you get a bite?"

"..."

"Oh, wow. Need some help?"

"...I'm...fine...thanks."

"Okay, then."

"..."

"Er, do you want something to brace yourself against? Minamoto?"

"...No. I don't think it's a fish."

"Really? But your fishing rod looks like it's going to break..."

"Exactly. Whatever this is, it's heavier than _me_."

"Not exactly a big achievement, Minamoto - you look like a twig."

"...we'll argue about that later."

"Hey - "

"Quito, would you stop distracting me? I need to drag this thing out of the water."

"I offered to _help_."

"No need."

"What on earth is that thing? It looks kind of like a lobster."

"Lobsters don't eat worms, Quito."

"You shouldn't rule them out, though. They probably weigh more than you. It all makes sense now."

"Actually, I weigh about 65."

"65 grams? Oooh, no wonder."


	172. Chapter 172

Let's go fishing AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 2.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So...I'm guessing that you're going to sell that."

"I don't know what _else_ I could possibly do with it. Maybe I'll donate it to a museum or something."

"I still can't believe it. You found an antique scuba suit in Old Man Silvan's lake..."

"Apparently, it likes worms."

"I'm...not even going to reply to that."

"You just did."

"...can we talk about something else?"

"Like what?"

"...Oh, I don't know. Why are you in Italy?"

"Because I have nowhere better to be."

"You could always go home..."

"But your mother cooks free dinner for me."

"And _your_ mother doesn't?"

"Not really. I left home when I was eighteen so that I could go to Italy to go fishing for fish only to find an antique scuba suit."

"I thought we were going to change the subject."

"I don't see why, Quito."

"You know, my name's Izumi."

"I know, Quito."

"...stop calling me that."

"Why should I? Quito."

"Oh, for crying out loud - "

"I think it's a rather nice name."

"I don't want to be the capital of Ecuador!"

"What do you have against Ecuador?"

"Nothing, it's just...I don't want to be the capital of Ecuador."

"So you _do_ have something against Ecuador."

"No, I...forget it."

"_I_ will forget it, but I'm not sure about the 14 million Ecuadorians of the world."


	173. Chapter 173

Let's go fishing AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 2. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Are you going fishing again today?"

"No. I'm done."

"You don't want to find another antique scuba suit?"

"Can't. They're draining the lake."

"Oh. I see. Why?"

"That's what I want to know. Are you free today, Quito?"

"_Quito_ doesn't exist, so obviously she wouldn't be free."

"The capital of Ecuador doesn't exist anymore?"

"...Ugh. Why can't you just call me Rome or something? That would make more sense."

"More sense to who? I prefer Quito."

"That's only because it comes from mosquito."

"No, that's not it."

"...huh?"

"That's not why I call you Quito."

"Well, then...what's the real reason?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because I want to know!"

"But you'll get upset."

"I'm already upset. Since when did you care?"

"Well, if you get any more upset, it won't be as entertaining."

"You think this is _entertaining_?"

"Riling you up? Yes."

"Is _that_ why you call me Quito all the time?"

"You overreact. It amuses me."

"I do not overreact!"

"...Then why are you squeezing the life out of your sandwich?"

"I'm pretending that it's your head."

"...And that's not overreacting?"

"You want _overreacting_?"

"...that might have stung a little. Good job. You can throw harder than a six year old girl."

"Hmph. Now I've lost my sandwich."

"Completely your fault."

"I need to get a new one."

"Hurry back - and if you're planning to throw this one too, try not to put tuna into it."

"...Hmm...good idea..."


	174. Chapter 174

Let's go fishing AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So what are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can't fish anymore. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Breathe, maybe."

"...you say that like it's optional."

"Technically, it is."

"Breathing is not an option, Minamoto."

"Minamoto? I thought that moving to first names didn't take this long in Italy."

"You didn't tell me."

"Hmm?"

"You didn't tell me to switch to first names."

"Do I have to?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"...are you going to let me?"

"Why not."

"Oh, good. Kouji is much easier to say than Minamoto."

"...You know...we've known each other for almost a year."

"Yeah...almost too long."

"That's relative."

"Are you still living at Old Man Silvan's place?"

"No, I moved out a while ago."

"Really? To where?"

"To the nicer part of town."

"Oh. How are you paying for rent?"

"Rock skipping, Quito."

"...Say...say what?"

"People make bets to see how many times the rock will skip. If it's more than nine, I win money."

"Why don't you do something normal like...like catch butterflies?"

"Catch _butterflies_? **_Normal_?**"

"Maybe that wasn't the right word..."

"No, Quito. Normal is an excellent word. It was just in the wrong sentence."

* * *

So sorry that these updates are coming late...


	175. Chapter 175

Cars AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why are you taking away my hands?"

"You're tired. Let me drive."

"I don't like riding shotgun."

"Okay, but you're still going to do it."

"Kouji - "

"Seriously, Izumi. Stay there."

"..."

"And try not to death glare at me while I drive. It's distracting."

"Damn you."

"Learn to compromise a little, Izumi."

"Maybe when you do."

"I don't compromise with safety."

"Exactly. Learn to compromise a little."

"You _want_ to crash the car on a highway? You are an _idiot_."

"No - that's not it."

"Alright. Give me a good explanation then."

"You don't know where my house is, Kouji."

"That's where the GPS comes in."

"Kouji, really? Let me drive today. You always drive."

"That's because I don't get sleepy on the highway."

"But I still stay awake!"

"I'd rather not risk dying tonight, thanks."

"You trust me so much."

"I do. I trust you to stay in the other seat."

* * *

So sorry that these updates are coming late...


	176. Chapter 176

Cars AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi. Izumi, wake up."

"Nnngh...are we there yet...?"

"No, but we're off the highway."

"Why'd you wake me up?"

"There's a construction site up ahead and the GPS won't recognize that the road is blocked."

"...okay...um...turn left here."

"Sure."

"And then try a right."

"Try? Izumi, I have to say, you're not making me feel too confident here."

"Oh, shut up...I'm tired, let me think for a minute."

"What about thirty seconds?"

"...Fine."

"So, left or right?"

"It's right."

"Sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Positive?"

"Yes, I'm positive..."

"Certain?"

"_Yes_, I'm certain - "

"Annoying?"

"Yes, I'm annoying - wait. Kouji!"

"What? You agreed with me."

"Don't take advantage of my sleepiness!"

"What are you talking about? You're practically jumping in the seat. Not sleepy at all."

"That's because you took advantage of it!"

"Hah."

"Kouji, it's not funny!"

"Depends on your perspective."

"Kouji, I know for a fact that you can pretend to be polite for five minutes at least. It takes three minutes to get to my house. Can't you hold the snappy comments?"

"As a matter of fact, I can."

"..."

"But I won't."


	177. Chapter 177

Cars AU

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...okay, there it is."

"Yeah...Thanks for driving. No thanks for the teasing."

"You're welcome. On both counts."

"How are you going to get home, Kouji?"

"I don't live too far from here. I'll probably walk. Which way is Main Street?"

"...you're going to walk in this city at three in the morning?"

"Er...yes?"

"Don't. You'll get mugged or something."

"...Izumi, do you realize who you're talking to?"

"I'm talking to _you_. Obviously."

"I can take care of myself."

"Of course you can."

"...Then I should be able to go through the city alone."

"No, absolutely not."

"..."

"Sit down. I'll get you a blanket."

"I don't need a blanket. I need to get home."

"And what would you do there?"

"...sleep?"

"You can do that here."

"...what about a shower?"

"I have a bathroom. It's over there."

"You're incredibly insistent, Izumi. Do you actually want me to stay over?"

"You think I would let you into my house if I wasn't serious?"

"Good point. Give me a minute."

"Go ahead."

"..."

"...Er, Kouji? What're you doing?"

"I'm...taking off my shirt."

"..."

"You know, the piece of fabric that most humans wear on their torsos?"

"I know what a shirt is!"

"Oh, good. I was worried about you for a minute there."


	178. Chapter 178

Canon.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You should be a preppy cheerleader."

"What? Nuh-uh!"

"Think about it, Izumi. You're blond, you're happy all the time, and you're athletic."

"I'm definitely not happy all the time. Especially not right now."

"And you have mood swings."

"..."

"Ow! Okay, fine, you're not the preppy cheerleader."

"I'm not preppy."

"You're preppier than me."

"Kouji, a cactus would be preppier than you."

"I beg to differ."

"Do you _want_ to be preppier?"

"Not really..."

"Then why are you complaining?"

"Because I don't want to be compared to a cactus."

"...You don't like cacti?"

"_No_."

"...It sounds like there's a story behind this."

"There's no story behind this. There doesn't _need_ to be."

"Kouji. C'mon. Tell me."

"I really don't have anything to tell you."

"Are you sure? I never thought you would hate a poor, innocent desert plant for no reason."

"Not innocent. Not at all."

"What did they ever do to you?"

"...Nothing."

"You paused! What were you going to say?"

"I paused because I was _breathing in_, Izumi."


	179. Chapter 179

Canon.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. I think I'm miscounting something...oh, well.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji."

"What?"

"Give me advice."

"On what?"

"On life."

"What the hell am I supposed to say? You're so random, Izumi."

"It's just advice, seriously. I have to interview someone for the school newspaper and you're the prime candidate. Don't think too hard about it and _don't_ call me random."

"But you are."

"Grargh, why are you such an asshole?"

"I have a better question. Why do you still hang around if I'm such an asshole?"

"Because interesting things happen around you."

"They happen because of _you_."

"Kouji, do you see this face? It's the face of incredible sadness. And it's your job to fix it."

"I'm sure…why is there a tape recorder hanging out of your pocket?"

"It's an iPod."

"Izumi. You don't _have_ an iPod."

"I do now."

"…So that's what you spent your salary on this week?"

"Uh-huh. Ran out of blank CDs, you see."

"Then I have a piece of advice for you."

"Finally. Hang on, let me get a sheet of paper…"

"…"

"So what is it?"

"Don't leave an iPod out where people can steal it."

"…Hey! Hey, Kouji, give that back!"


	180. Chapter 180

In which Kouji is completely and utterly helpful.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 5. SO BEHIND. DX

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, you've been staring at the same page for three hours. What's up?"

"Nothing's up. I've got a test. That's what's up."

"...Wait, I heard two answers in that."

"Yes. Yes, you did. I'm also _seeing_ two answers to this problem."

"You sound frustrated."

"I am."

"Anything I can do?"

"You can take this test for me, if you like."

"...is that a serious suggestion?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Dang. I thought you liked Philosophy, Izumi."

"So did I."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Lemme put it this way, Kouji. If Philosophy were a person, it would be a serial killer."

"A sociopathic serial killer or a normal serial killer?"

"Does it matter? They're both awful."

"Well, actually, it _does_ matter. If it's like a normal serial killer, you should keep going."

"...what if it's sociopathic?"

"Throw it in the trash can and call it a day."

"...I wish I could."

"You can."

"God dammit, Kouji, stop tempting me! Shoo! Shoo! Get out of my room!"

"I'm trying to help you."

"You're trying to help me _fail._"

"That too."

"_That too_? What? Are you serious?"

"Of course not. I don't think you need any help with failing. It's not very hard to do."


	181. Chapter 181

In which Kouji is completely and utterly helpful.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. SO BEHIND. DX

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Didn't I throw you out, Kouji?"

"Your roommate let me in."

"...excuse me while I go wring her neck."

"Oh, she already left."

"GOD DAMN IT."

"Chill."

"I am not going to chill until I'm finished with this stupid test!"

"Which is when?"

"...maybe next month."

"Oh, dang. You might want to hurry up. I don't want to run out of popcorn."

"Run out of popcorn?"

"Of course. It's like a movie."

"I refuse to be your entertainment, Kouji."

"But you are."

"I am not - oh, god."

"What? Oh, geez. Do you need a paper towel?"

"My poor computer! $%&#!"

"How is it?"

"#$%$#**%!"

"Wow, alright."

"#$%$#*$%&#$#%*!"

"Um..."

"#$%$%&&##%&*&*$#!"

"...That's actually pretty impressive, Izumi. I had no idea you knew those words."


	182. Chapter 182

In which Kouji is completely and utterly helpful.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. SO BEHIND. DX

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Listen, Izumi, if you don't go outside right now, I'm going to _drag_ you out."

"No thanks. This is _my_ room, thank you very much."

"It's also your roommate's room."

"Yeah. And you aren't my roommate."

"Your roommate is the one who begged me to help."

"Help with what?"

"Help with getting you _out_. She wants to have the room to herself every once in a while."

"I _do_ leave the room."

"Prove it."

"I ate dinner yesterday - no, wait, that was take out...and so was the day before that...um...maybe...no, wait..."

"I rest my case."

"I'll think of something, just you wait."

"I don't feel like waiting. Up you go."

"Oof!"

"...you've lost weight."

"Nnnnngh. I can walk by myself, you know!"

"Yes, you can, but I'm not sure that you _would_."

"I don't like you right now, Kouji."

"There's not a lot that you _do_ like right now."

"...I'm going to be _very_ upset with you if you keep pushing me."

"I'll make it up to you."

"..."

"We'll go get ice cream."

"..."

"It'll be good."

"..."

"And I'll pay."

"Money can't buy forgiveness, Kouji."

"Well, no, but it can buy ice cream - which is basically the same thing."


	183. Chapter 183

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. SO BEHIND. DX

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji...can you turn the thermostat up?"

"I'll try, but I don't think it'll help much."

"I just need it to be a teensy bit warmer. My fingers aren't going to survive this."

"Welcome to boarding school."

"..."

"What?"

"I've been here _longer_ than you, you know."

"Oh, I know."

"If you're trying to be condescending, you're doing it well."

"I'm not trying."

"...Incredible. You're an absolute natural at being a douche-bag."

"...do you know what a douche-bag _is_?"

"It's what you are."

"No, Izumi, I meant the dictionary definition."

"It means that you're a jerk."

"...that's not what I was referring to."

"Oh, really?"

"Real douche-bags are used in the medical profession."

"...something tells me that I don't want to know."

"You probably don't, but you're still going to look it up on the Internet."

"No, I'm not!"

"...Then what are you doing right now?"

"I'm...doing research for class."

"Uh-huh. Which class?"

"...Chemistry."

"You're not even taking Chemistry this year."

"..."

"Admit it. I was right."

"Kouji, it will be a cold day in hell before I do that willingly."

"Look. It's cold right now, and boarding school _is_ hell. Your cold day in hell is happening right _now_."


	184. Chapter 184

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. SO BEHIND. DX

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I wonder if we argue too much."

"...what?"

"I said, I wonder if we argue too much. You dropped your straw, by the way."

"Izumi, you have no idea how ironic that is..."

"What? Why?"

"I was just on the phone arguing with my mother about how I treat you."

"What did she say?"

"To stop using so much sarcasm."

"...well, I wouldn't mind that."

"Of course you wouldn't. Doesn't mean that I'm going to stop."

"You're terribly considerate."

"Oh, I know."

"Kouji, where exactly did you get such a sassy mouth?"

"Adolescence."

"Hey, _I'm_ an adolescent too, but I'm not nearly as mean."

"If it bothers you, tell me."

"...If I tell you, are you going to stop?"

"Probably not."

"There you go. It'd be a waste of breath."

"I notice that you're still wasting your breath on me, though. I must be doing _something_ right."

"Either that, or I'm just masochistic."

"...Izumi?"

"Yeah?"

"The thought of you being masochistic makes me want to laugh hysterically."

"...Well, the thought of _you_ laughing hysterically makes me want to laugh. Hysterically."

"Hey, it could happen."

"Maybe in a parallel universe."


	185. Chapter 185

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 5. Today is catch-up day because my big midterm is finally. Over. =D

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hang on...let me open the windows."

"Kouji. Why are your walls neon yellow?"

"Long story. Does the paint smell bother you?"

"The smell's fine...but _why_ is it neon yellow?"

"Why not?"

"Is that a serious question?"

"Of course."

"Kouji. Your walls look like they've been assaulted by an army of _highlighters_. That's not exactly a good thing."

"It's not like I spend time in my room anyway."

"Not even to sleep?"

"Newsflash, Izumi - you have to _close your eyes_ to sleep."

"I know that!"

"...congratulations. You've figured out basic human anatomy."

"Oh, for crying out loud - wait. Kouji. You still haven't answered my question. Why are your walls fluorescent yellow?"

"Well...that's...a long story."

"I've got time. Especially for long stories that embarrass you."

"I can just feel the love, Izumi."

"Stay on topic, Kouji."

"..."

"Kooooouji. C'mon."

"Could we just forget this?"

"Hey, if I have to stare at fluorescent yellow every time I hang out with you, I think I deserve to know why."

"...It's Kouichi's fault."

"I see. Kouichi's fault."

"Right."

"So he made you color your walls yellow?"

"I didn't say that he made me do anything. I said that it was his fault."

"Which is the same thing."

"No no no."

"I think you're confusing me, Kouji."

"That's alright. I think I'm confusing myself."


	186. Chapter 186

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. Today is catch-up day because my big midterm is finally. Over. =D

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, is the neon yellow going to be a permanent thing? I don't know how I feel about this."

"That's alright. It's only going to be there for a week or so."

"Only a week? Why'd you get it painted, then?"

"I told you, it's Kouichi's fault."

"You still haven't told me why."

"...have you asked _him_?"

"No, not really."

"Izumi, that's just unfair. Why don't you badger the other guys as much as you badger me?"

"Well - well - let me put it this way. Every relationship has one person who wears the pants, right?"

"Not sure where you're going with this..."

"Well, in _our_ relationship, you let me wear the pants a lot."

"...which leaves me...pantless?"

"No! I was just trying - "

"Izumi, that has to be the most awkward thing I've ever heard."

"That's because you _mis_heard it!"

"My ears are fine, thanks."

"You know what, Kouji? If you keep teasing me like this, I'm not going to talk to you anymore."

"..."

"...What?"

"You just talked to me."


	187. Chapter 187

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 5. Today is catch-up day because my big midterm is finally. Over. =D

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"This is so gross."

"...You're right, Izumi. That's probably the most unappetizing thing I've ever seen."

"A pig wouldn't eat that."

"Well...that might be pushing it a bit."

"I'm serious, Kouji. A pig. Would not. Eat that."

"Pigs eat anything."

"Exactly. What does that say about cafeteria food?"

"Izumi, while I agree wholeheartedly that the food is crappy..."

"Who wouldn't?"

"...I don't think a pig is going to reject food, no matter how bad it is."

"Kouji, I don't want to talk about pigs eating this."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to talk about _anyone_ eating this. It makes me feel nauseous."

"...Okay."

"..."

"..."

"...For god's sake, isn't there _something else_ you want to talk about?"

"Not really."

"Do you _really_ want to argue about what pigs eat?"

"...Not really."

"Oh. Then what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, Izumi. Why are you asking _me_?"

"I don't know."

"..."

"...You know, Kouji...there's an easy way to settle this."

"Do I sense a harebrained idea on the horizon? Yes, I do."

"Oh, shut up."


	188. Chapter 188

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. Today is catch-up day because my big midterm is finally. Over. =D

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I stand uncorrected. This _is_ a harebrained idea. One of the _most_ harebrained you've ever come up with."

"Kouji, just hand me the plate already."

"Why on earth is there a pig at school anyway?"

"It's for the Future Farmers of Japan. They bought a pig to get experience."

"...I'm...not even going to question that sentence. There are way too many things wrong with it."

"Really? It makes sense to me."

"That's because you're you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Kouji! Stop being evasive!"

"No."

"Fine. You can sit there and see if the pig eats it."

"..."

"What?"

"This is such a waste of time."

"Well, you were the one who argued with me, Kouji."

"Yes."

"So it's your fault that I had to find the pig."

"You're right. Next time I want to argue with you, I will remember this...and make fun of you for it."


	189. Chapter 189

Carefree days.

Time to play catch-up! Current debt: 4. Today is catch-up day because my big midterm is finally. Over. =D

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I told you it was a waste of time."

"And I told you to shut up."

"Izumi, don't make me say I told you so."

"I still can't believe the pig actually ate it."

"Well, pigs aren't exactly picky eaters."

"Still! How on earth did evolution favor an animal without _taste buds_?"

"Erm, Izumi? Evolution had nothing to do with it. Pigs are domesticated."

"...Right."

"Uh huh."

"Still can't believe it."

"Honestly? I can't believe it either."

"Kouji, that...stuff...smelled like rotten milk."

"And mushrooms."

"And mushro-wait, mushrooms? Mushrooms don't smell that bad."

"They do with rotten milk."

"...you've smelled mushrooms with rotten milk before?"

"Well, no, but I can imagine."

"Ick. Stop talking about it. It makes my stomach churn."

"...hey, Izumi, aren't you hungry?"

"Mmmhmm. I just want to go home. That'd be so nice."

"Yeah. You know, there's still some food left on the plate."

"...Kouji? I am _not _eating that."

"Why not? Aren't you hungry?"

"Not hungry enough to eat rotten milk and mushrooms!"

"Have you ever tried it?"

"No!"

"Well, then, you never know."

"Yeah, right. Why don't _you_ try it first?"

"Sure."

"...wait, wait, are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Should I call the ambulance in advance? So that they can get ready to pump your stomach?"

"Nah."

"...So..."

"..."

"How is it?"

"...You know, Izumi...it actually tastes good."


	190. Chapter 190

Current debt: 4

New AU!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, I need a big favor..."

"Big favor? Really? You?"

"Can we talk somewhere else?"

"...for privacy?"

"Of course...uh...is that okay?"

"Izumi, you're asking _me_ if I mind privacy?"

"Oh...right."

"So? What's the problem?"

"Umm..."

"Izumi. Stop stammering and tell me what you want me to do."

"Youknowthedateauction?"

"What? Hang on, slow down. What did you just say?"

"You know the date auction?"

"The one next Thursday?"

"Yep."

"What about it?"

"Well..."

"Izumi, please stop blushing. You're making me nervous."

"I can't help it! They're going to auction _me_ off!"

"Wait - why the hell did you volunteer? What kind of idiot are you?"

"I know!"

"You don't even like going out on dates!"

"I know! I was an idiot! I'm sorry!"

"Idiot."

"I know."

"Idiot."

"I know..."

"Idiot."

"Okay, Kouji, I think that's enough insulting for today."

"No, it's not enough. Why on earth would you do something like that?"

"I don't know. It's not _that_ bad, is it?"

"Izumi, maybe you need to get your sense of reality checked. Date auctions are some of the most awkward things _ever._"

"...really?"

"It's almost as awkward as watching your parents get cozy."

"...I could have lived _without_ that mental image, Kouji."


	191. Chapter 191

Current debt: 4

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Thanks for coming, Kouji."

"You owe me for this."

"You're a horrible person."

"I still don't understand what I'm supposed to do here."

"Well..."

"Well? I'm attending this stupid auction for you. Would you mind telling me why I'm here?"

"I don't want to be the only person who doesn't get any bets."

"Hold on. Hold _on_."

"What?"

"Izumi, are you listening to yourself right now?"

"Not really, is my voice funny or something?"

"No - I mean, Izumi, do you honestly think that nobody is going to bet on you?"

"Kind of..."

"You're delusional."

"What? Why?"

"Izumi, first off, people who have to buy themselves dates are kind of _desperate_."

"...Okay, I see your point."

"Second, you're not ugly at all. Someone's bound to want you."

"That's almost...sweet of you."

"It's not sweet at all. I speak from experience."

"You mean Junpei?"

"Well, him...and maybe three other people."

"Three?"

"Mmmhmm...although Takuya stopped liking you two years ago...and it was a mild crush for Tomoki."

"So, wait, who's the third guy?"

"..."


	192. Chapter 192

Current debt: 5. I hate essays.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...All that fuss, and you still end up with me. Typical, Izumi."

"Hey, it's not my fault! You were the one betting on me!"

"Only because the other guy looked like a hobo."

"Well, as long as he pays for dinner..."

"Wow, Izumi. Just wow. You'd put up with dating a hobo for the free meals?"

"A free _meal_. Singular."

"Still. I had no idea you were so practical."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind. It's a moot point anyway."

"Right. So. Do you actually want to go on a date or...?"

"...what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"I don't know either."

"...Well, this is awkward."

"Tell me about it. Kouichi would have a field day."

"Does he know?"

"Know?"

"Does he know that you...?"

"Probably."

"Oh."

"I think everyone knew."

"Except me."

"Except you."

"...This is so awkward, Kouji."

"Only if you make it awkward."

"I don't _mean _to make it awkward, it just - it just happens. I mean, you were the one who told me - I mean..."

"You're stuttering. It's not helping, Izumi."

"...Should I just shut up now?"

"Maybe after you tell me what you want to do."

"But I don't know what I want you to do."

"...Izumi?"

"Uh huh?"

"Maybe we should forget that this ever happened."

"But I'm not very good at forgetting."

"...God damn it, liking you is so inconvenient."

"Err, Kouji?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not sure that inconvenient is the right word to use."


	193. Chapter 193

Current debt: 5. I hate essays.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What about Italian?"

"No...I don't actually like Italian food that much."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Dang. Was _not_ expecting that."

"...Do I look like the kind of person who likes Italian food?"

"Izumi, is that a trick question?"

"Well, it wasn't supposed to be...but..."

"Izumi. Izumi. You're free to stop talking at _any time_."

"Kouji. Kouji. So are you."

"Touche."

"Seriously, though. Pick a restaurant and we'll go. You don't have to think about this too much."

"I'm trying not to."

"And how is that working for you?"

"It's not. At all."

"Well...in that case, maybe you should just stop thinking."

"Izumi, telling me to stop thinking is like...like telling a jelly fish to stop glowing."

"Some jelly fish don't."

"But that's because they weren't born to glow. Kind of like how some people weren't born to think."

"And like how _some_ people weren't meant to share their thoughts with the world."


	194. Chapter 194

Current debt: 5. God, I'm so tired...

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Well, that was...interesting."

"Quite."

"I don't think that's ever happened to me before."

"Oh, really? I thought overexuberant French waiters stuffed you into romantic dining rooms _on a daily basis_."

"Sarcasm, Kouji. Mind the sarcasm."

"I'll try."

"Did you tell them to put us here?"

"Hell no."

"...oh...of course not."

"Are you okay with it?"

"I don't know how to feel."

"How is _that_ anything new?"

"Point taken, Kouji. Although you have no room to be talking."

"Actually, I haven't been doing too badly on that front. At least I'm not in denial."

"_Front_? You make it sound like some kind of war."

"...isn't it kind of like a war?"

"Relationships are _not_ wars, Kouji. They're more like...like revolutions."

"Izumi, most revolutions come with wars."

"But revolutions can be good things. Wars can't."

"I don't agree."

"You don't agree that wars can't be good things?"

"Not at all. Sometimes it's good to fight."

"Fighting is unnecessary, Kouji. People always get hurt."

"A little hurt is good for you."

"...I get the feeling we're talking about two completely different things."

"That's because we are."

"Could we go back to having just one conversation, please?"

"...But that's so boring."

"I don't know about you, Kouji, but I like knowing what I'm talking about."


	195. Chapter 195

Current debt: 5. God, I'm so tired...

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So...Kouji?"

"Yeah?"

"_Why_ are we here?"

"Because we're eating dinner?"

"No, I mean - why are we on a date?"

"Because I bought one?"

"But - but - we didn't really have to go on a real date."

"If we didn't, then I would have wasted money in that auction."

"...So?"

"SO? Are you serious?"

"Money isn't everything."

"Maybe not, but it certainly makes life easier."

"...Kouji?"

"Hm?"

"Were you serious?"

"Serious about what?"

"Liking me."

"Oh, hell - are we back to this subject?"

"Hey, I'll shut up when you give me a good answer."

"...Yes. I do. Are you happy now?"

"..."

"I'm guessing you don't like me."

"I do!"

"As more of a friend, I mean."

"...It's complicated."

"I call BS, Izumi. It's not that complicated."

"Kouji..."

"You don't like talking about this, _I_ don't like talking about this. Could we please get onto a better topic?"

"Well - I mean - Kouji -"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"It's not a yes. We need to talk."

"I'd prefer not to."

"Just one more question. Please? For me?"

"...Fine. Ask."

"How long?"

"...What?"

"How long have you...?"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea. It kind of snuck up on me. Like a ninja."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So."

"Could we just talk about the food now?"

"I'm not sure it's possible to spend an entire date talking about food, Kouji."

"Of course it's possible. Anything's possible if you're desperate enough."


	196. Chapter 196

Current debt: 5. God, I'm so tired...

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey. Kou."

"You haven't called me that since we were twelve."

"Actually, I haven't called you that since ten seconds ago."

"Touche."

"Anyways. I just wanted to say...if you're going to be this awkward on a date, I'm not going on another one with you."

"Was there ever any chance of that?"

"I don't know. Maybe. If I had the time."

"...If you had the _time_."

"What?"

"Izumi, I'm sure that you'll agree when I say that it's not easy to piss me off."

"Of course not. It's also not that easy to make you care."

"That's besides the point. Even though it's not that easy to piss me off, you're coming pretty damn close right now."

"...I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"Kouji, just so you know, you're coming pretty damn close to pissing me off too."

"Oh. I thought I was the only one."

"..."

"..."

"Well..."

"So..."

"..."

"..."

"Kouji, are you sure?"

"Izumi, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Are you sure that you like me? Because you really don't act like it."

"No, I like you."

"..."

"Most of the time."

"...Sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"I _do_ blame you for being so like-able."


	197. Chapter 197

Current debt: 5. God, I'm so tired...

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Bleeeeh."

"Hmmm? Something wrong?"

"Nothing really. Just a few idiots who need to shut up."

"Like who?"

"Like Takuya."

"Kouji, you don't mean that. Takuya's a good guy."

"Oh, no, I mean it with _all my heart_."

"What did he do?"

"It's not what he did."

"What did he say, then?"

"He asked me how far."

"How far?"

"..."

"...I don't get it."

"Meaning how far we got."

"Oh!"

"And now you get it."

"What a jerk!"

"You see?"

"Absolutely! Let's get back at him!"

"Agreed. How should we do it?"

"Maybe we should give him a few prank calls."

"But that won't do much..."

"Oh, they will. Trust me. They will."

"..."

"Especially if we pretend to be the police."

"...Izumi, you're actually starting to scare me a little."

"Really? Cool."

"Not cool, Izumi. Not cool at all. What would you do to _me_ if I really pissed you off?"

"If you don't piss me off, you'll never find out."


	198. Chapter 198

Current debt: 5. God, I'm so tired...

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Izumi, do you remember what I said about liking you most of the time?"

"Uh huh?"

"I stand corrected. I'm going to like you forever if this actually works."

"Well, I _am_ an evil genius."

"...I don't even have a witty comeback for that anymore."

"..."

"..."

"Great. Now you're making me feel like I've gone too far."

"No, no, it's a good idea."

"But you just said - "

"I said that I didn't have a witty comeback. That doesn't mean _jack_."

"It doesn't?"

"It doesn't."

"Since when? You and witty comebacks go hand in hand, Kouji. I never told you to change."

"...What's that supposed to mean? Do I need to have permission to stop being witty?"

"Yes, of course! Every time you open your mouth, I expect something witty. Don't disappoint me."

"Izumi...that doesn't make sense. I have to open my mouth to _breathe_, don't I?"

"See, like that!"

"I wasn't trying to be witty. I was trying to be _logical_."

"Yes, but your logic is witty."

"...My logic is witty."

"Yes, your logic is witty."

"I should take that as a compliment and not as a sign that you're going senile."

"Wait, what? Why would it be a sign that I'm going senile?"

"Because you've been repeating yourself over and over again."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Think. How many times did you say the word witty in the past five minutes?"

"...Uh..."

"You see? Repeating yourself. Senile."


	199. Chapter 199

Current debt: 5. God, I'm so tired...

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Did you see that?"

"Yes! Ohmygoshthatwasawesome!"

"It was. I have to admit, it was."

"He was freaking out. I can't imagine anything funnier."

"I can't either."

"Did you see what he did with the phone?"

"You mean when he dropped it and it almost fell into the sewer?"

"Yeah."

"That was incredible."

"Yeah."

"...so..."

"Do you feel better now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You got your revenge."

"...Oh. You're right."

"Kouji, why are you so...unexcitable?"

"I don't know. It was funny at the time, but I think the hysteria's worn off."

"Why does your excitation last only two minutes?"

"Why does yours last two hours?"

"Good questions. I have no idea."

"You never do."

"Kouji, shut up. I know some things."

"Oh?"

"You don't have to sound so doubtful."

"Doubtful? On the contrary. I agree that you know some things. I agree completely."

"Fine. You don't have to sound so condescending."

"Izumi, have you thought about what would happen to my personality if you took all the condescension out?"

"...Oh, right. You wouldn't _have_ a personality."

"...That might be going a little too far."

"Meh. I guess you're right."

"..."

"Although sometimes I think that you would make a really good robot."

"You are too kind, Izumi. Too. Kind."


	200. Chapter 200

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU, though it's merged into canon at the end...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji! Did Takuya call you last night?"

"No."

"Really? He said something about talking to you..."

"Right."

"Soooo?"

"He didn't call. He showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night."

"_Why_?"

"He was worried about the police finding him."

"He was worried about the police, so he ran to _your_ house? I'd hate to see what happens if they really do call him."

"So would I."

"...did you tell him it was a joke?"

"Yes."

"...But?"

"What makes you think there's going to be a 'but'?"

"You never use that tone of voice unless you're in the mood to complain about something."

"...Really?"

"Really."

"It's kind of scary that you know me so well, Izumi."

"Yeah, well...we've _only_ saved each others' lives two or three or four times."

"That was when we were ten."

"So? Are you trying to say that your life wasn't worth as much back then?"

"...Point taken."

"Good. Now. What were you going to say?"

"Nothing."

"..."

"What?"

"I'm going to get it out of you. Even if I have to call your mother and tell her about the _incident_."

"...Izumi, you're the reason I've lost faith in the goodness of humanity."

"Kouji, I could say the same for you."


	201. Chapter 201

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, why are we meeting at such a weird place today?"

"It's not that weird."

"You don't even like sweets."

"Don't generalize so much, Izumi. I don't mind a lump or two of sugar in my coffee."

"A little bit of sugar is very different from a bowl of frozen yogurt."

"Well, if I'm going to be eating something sweet, it might as well be healthy."

"...Frozen yogurt is healthy?"

"Comparatively."

"Compared to _what_?"

"Ice cream."

"...Oh. Well, that's true."

"Mmmhmmm."

"...I still think it's weird, Kouji."

"What's weird?"

"Meeting you alone in a cafe in the middle of nowhere."

"...We've done that before."

"That was before I knew you liked me."

"Like."

"Huh?"

"I _like _you. Not liked."

"...Kouji, if you were anyone else, I would have considered that a _confession_, not a grammar correction."

"It's not a confession if you already know."

"...Fair enough, I guess. Doesn't it...bother you?"

"Why should I feel bothered?"

"...Do I really have to say it?"

"Oh. That."

"Yes, _that_. What else would I be talking about, Kouji?"

"I'm not really bothered. Nothing's changed. You haven't started acting awkward."

"..."

"That wasn't an invitation to start, by the way."


	202. Chapter 202

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji."

"Hey."

"What's your next class?"

"Horrible."

"...No, I mean, what kind of class do you have?"

"The kind you find in hell."

"Kouji!"

"What?"

"Would you stop doing that for a few minutes so that we can have a normal conversation?"

"Sorry. Not in a good mood, Mi."

"...what did you just call me?"

"Oh. Sorry."

"Kouji, you're not making any sense."

"I'm running on two hours of sleep. Give me a break."

"Oh, fine. So what _is_ your next class?"

"Accelerated Physics."

"Ouch."

"It's not that bad, it's just...bad."

"...do you want to skip with me?"

"You're skipping?"

"Uh-huh. I got a pass from my band director."

"Is anyone else coming?"

"Takuya's at the nurse's office, talking to the pretty secretary."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I feel like he's doing much better than I am."

"Better how?"

"Better in the relationship department."

"...If it makes you feel any better, I know the secretary and she doesn't really like Takuya."

"...Oh."

"Uh huh."

"I don't feel any better, Izumi."

"I figured, but it was worth a shot."

"Thank you for trying."

"...was that sarcastic?"

"Hell, I don't even know. Let's skip class. Maybe it'll make me feel better."

"I'm not sure that's how it works, but ok~ay!"


	203. Chapter 203

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Technically, this is a date, isn't it?"

"...Izumi. We're skipping class together and hiding out in your backyard. In what way does this resemble a _date_?"

"I was joking."

"..."

"Ne...Kouji?"

"Yeah?"

"Does it bother you when I joke about stuff like that?"

"Not as much as it should. You've always been a cheeky little girl."

"I'm not little!"

"..."

"Hey! Give me my scarf back!"

"You have to get it back yourself."

"But you're holding it too high."

"That's the point."

"Kouji, that's not fair! You're a guy, you're supposed to be taller than me!"

"Of course."

"_Kouji_! Give me my scarf back - mmpph."

"Shush. Do you want to tell the whole world that we're hiding out here?"

"...You didn't have to suffocate me with my scarf."

"You wanted it back, didn't you?"

"Not against my mouth."

"Then you should have specified."

"Scarves don't belong in people's mouths!"

"Yes, I know."

"..."

"What's your point?"

"Kouji, sometimes...I want to strangle you with a pitchfork."

"How does one _strangle_ with a pitchfork?"

"...Oh, shut up."


	204. Chapter 204

Dating Auction AU. Debt: 5

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I guess what I'm trying to say is...I want a boyfriend, but I don't want my boyfriend to be _you_. Does that make sense?"

"...Is there a specific reason for that?"

"Yeah. Do you want to know?"

"Sure."

"..."

"Well?"

"Actually, this is a bad idea. We shouldn't talk about relationships."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to talk about them."

"What if I do?"

"Then you can. Just not with me."

"Izumi, is a little bit of closure too much to ask for?"

"I thought you had closure already."

"Avoiding the subject isn't closure."

"We haven't been avoiding the subject."

"Yes, we have."

"No, we haven't."

"Yes."

"No."

"Absolutely."

"Absolutely not."

"Of course we have."

"Of course _not_."

"Kouji, stop contradicting everything I say."

"I am _not_ contradicting. I'm disagreeing."

"Same thing."

"No, not the same thing. Not at all."

"...All joking aside, Kouji-"

"Who's joking?"

"...Fine. All_ sarcasm_ aside, I'm being serious here. Talking about it just makes things more awkward than they need to be."

"So you want me to shut up?"

"I think so, yes."

"What if I don't want to shut up?"

"Do you really want to find out? After what I did to Takuya?"

"...Good point. Okay, I'll try not to mention it."

"Please don't use the word _try_. You're not very good at that."

"What do you want me to do, make a blood pact?"

"...That would be nice, yeah."

"..."

"Wait. Waaaaait, Kouji, come back! I was kidding!"


	205. Chapter 205

Dating Auction AU. Debt: 5

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You know, school ended three hours ago."

"...wait, it did?"

"Er...you didn't notice?"

"I was too busy trying to stay warm."

"Oh! Why didn't you say so, Kouji?"

"Because it wouldn't have helped?"

"You should have said something. I have one of your jackets."

"...You do?"

"Yeah. It's been sitting in my room for almost a year."

"...Why on earth do you have one of my jackets?"

"You gave it to me when it was raining."

"Oh. Was that the day you broke up with your boyfriend?"

"...Yeah, I think so. Jackass."

"What did I do?"

"No, no, not you. I'm talking about my ex."

"...Oh, him. Yeah, he was a jackass."

"You know, that's kind of ironic..."

"What's ironic?"

"Well, you're a jackass too."

"Hmph. Are we talking about the same person who gave you his jacket last year when it was raining?"

"...I guess so. We're also talking about the person who insists that everything is based on logic."

"It is!"

"Do we _really_ have to have this conversation again?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Kouji - if everything is logical, _why do you like me_?"

"..."

"You see?"

"It's not that I don't have an answer for that question, Izumi. I just don't want you to get mad at me."

"...Wait, you actually have a _logical reason_ for liking me?"

"Of course. Why not?"

"You honestly think that you can rationalize liking someone?"

"Of _course_."

"...Kouji, you need a good, hard dose of reality."

"I'll pass."


	206. Chapter 206

Dating Auction AU. Debt: 5

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You're still hanging around, Kouji?"

"Your mother invited me to dinner."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Parental interference is a wonderful thing, isn't it?"

"_Wonderful_ might be a little too optimistic."

"A _little too optimistic_ might be too optimistic."

"Meh. Fair enough, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yes, I _guess_. Do you need a dictionary, Izumi?"

"That's not - that's not what - never mind."

"Were you going to say something important?"

"No."

"In that case, we should go inside for food."

"My mother's still cooking."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"We should still go inside."

"But she's not done yet."

"But it's _cold_ outside."

"Not that much..."

"Izumi, it's the middle of winter, there's almost no sunlight even at lunchtime, and it's past sunset - and you still want to say that it's not cold?"

"..."

"Drop the tough act."

"...maybe you should take your own advice."

"I don't have a tough act."

"..."

"...do I?"

"Kouji, it's pretty sad that I have to answer that question."


	207. Chapter 207

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji, since _when_ were you vegetarian?"

"Since almost two years ago. You seriously didn't notice?"

"..."

"You didn't?"

"Not at all."

"Damn. Really?"

"You don't exactly advertise it, Kouji."

"How am I supposed to..._advertise_ it?"

"You should just tell people."

"I shouldn't have to. It's pretty obvious."

"But I never noticed it."

"That's because you never eat lunch with us anymore."

"...Takuya and Junpei eat with you, but they never mention it."

"That's because _Taku-chan_ and _Jun-kun_ are too busy stuffing their faces."

"Who else - oh, I see. Tomoki knows?"

"He's known for at least a year."

"_Sheesh_. I feel so out of the loop."

"Don't worry. You're just as out of the loop as Takuya and Junpei."

"...But I'm a girl. I'm supposed to notice these things."

"Wow, sexism."

"It's true! Girls are supposed to notice things!"

"I didn't know there was a stereotype like that."

"There is. You'll have to take my word for it."

"Okay, okay. Fine. It's not like I'm an expert in stereotypes."

"Of course not, you break pretty much all of them."

"Oh. Like what?"

"Well, sometimes - um...I dunno."

"Izumi, if you can't give me any evidence, you shouldn't say anything at all."

"Kouji, by your logic, people shouldn't even get up in the morning unless there's evidence that the sun is going to rise."

"What's wrong with that?"

"...Never mind."


	208. Chapter 208

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Hey, Kouji, check the time."

"Hmm? Oh, it's four o'clock."

"...FOUR?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"It's four on a weeknight, and you're still hanging out in my house, and my mother _hasn't_ kicked you out yet?"

"What can I say? She likes having me around."

"Apparently."

"Is that a problem?"

"Only because it's so late. I have to get to bed at some point, you know."

"Tomorrow is Friday. Not too many people actually care about what happens in class when the weekend is just ahead."

"Technically, _today_ is Friday. It's four in the morning."

"Mmm-hmm. You might as well stay up. People say that it's worse to sleep a little bit than to stay awake."

"It's worse?"

"Yeah."

"That makes no sense."

"If you don't believe me, you can go to sleep."

"Hey, I never said that I don't believe you."

"...Hmph."

"..."

"..."

"...Hey, Kouji?"

"What?"

"I just remembered. I haven't taken a shower yet."

"...Wonderful to know."

"Oh, shut up. I'm going to take one. You can...stay on the couch, I guess."

"...that makes me sound like a homeless person."

"Hmmm. I can see the resemblance."

"I'm _flattered_."

"Oh, you should be."

"..."

"No, seriously. It's a step up from what you used to be."

"...what I used to be?"

"A delinquent."

"I was never a - oh. Right. I guess I was."

"How exactly did you forget that? Wait. Don't answer that question."


	209. Chapter 209

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, how many times have you said _Hey Kouji_ today?"

"...Um...probably at least five."

"I think it's probably more like seventeen. Why do you begin every single conversation with that?"

"Because it's easy, and it's late at night, and I don't want to get creative."

"You know, people are supposed to have deep, philosophical conversations late at night."

"I don't do the whole deep and philosophical too well, Kouji. You know that."

"...I guess that's true."

"Yeah."

"We have two hours until school starts."

"Uh huh. I wonder if any of our teachers noticed that we were missing."

"I'm sure they did. I'm just as sure that I'm going to get another detention tomorrow."

"Kouji, do your parents mind when you get in trouble?"

"...What do you _think_, Izumi?"

"Well..."

"Of course they mind. That's half the reason why I do it."

"What's the other half?"

"It's fun."

"...It's fun getting into trouble?"

"No, it's fun to see my friends trip all over themselves trying to get me to stop."

"...Kouji, you're incorrigible."

"It's four in the morning, and you can use words like that, but you _can't_ figure out a better way to begin a conversation than _Hey Kouji_?"


	210. Chapter 210

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"It's almost time to get up."

"We're already up."

"I mean, from the the bed."

"Ugh. I don't really want to..."

"You think _anyone_ does?"

"Maybe Kouichi."

"...As much as I'd like to defend my twin, I don't think it's possible this time."

"Mmm...yeah. He's probably the only one I know who actually enjoys school."

"No, there are definitely others. It's just that Kouichi kind of overshadows them."

"How did you end up with him as a brother?"

"A better question would be, how did he end up with _me_?"

"Ooh, that's a tough one."

"Agreed."

"You guys are nothing alike, you know."

"Absolutely not. I'm pretty sure my father regrets choosing me over him."

"That's sad, Kouji."

"Not really. I could be like Kouichi if I wanted to. I just don't want to."

"What about entrance exams?"

"Oh, I'll study for those. Normal school is just a waste of time, though."

"...you should still do your work."

"Says the girl who skipped all of her afternoon classes today - and then convinced me to do the same."

"You didn't really need the convincing."

"...Fair enough."


	211. Chapter 211

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU - wow, this is getting really long, isn't it?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, get down from there!"

"What? It's not like I'm going to fall."

"It's not like you're safe, either."

"I'm not sure why you're trying to tell me what to do, Izumi."

"Oh, cut it out. You're not a moody teenager going through a difficult time."

"Really?"

"...Actually...that's _exactly_ what you are."

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Then get down!"

"Ugh. Fine."

"Much better."

"I don't see why you like ordering me around so much."

"Who wouldn't?"

"...Good point."

"Besides, you're really bad at making decisions for yourself. It's only natural."

"Izumi, I'm not _that_ bad...am I?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"

"...No, not really."

"Good."

"By the way, if you really want to be a responsible student for once - "

"Kouji, your definition of a responsible student is someone who actually goes to class."

"Well, that's true, but it's not what I'm trying to say."

"Really."

"_Really_."

"Okay, Kouji, I'm all ears."

"We're going to be late in about two minutes."

"_What?_"

"We're going to be late, Izumi."

"Why couldn't you tell me that five minutes ago?"

"Because we weren't almost late five minutes ago."


	212. Chapter 212

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU - wow, this is getting really long, isn't it?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey. Izumi..."

"Shhh!"

"...Izumi?"

"Okay, what is it?"

"You just made me forget what I was going to say."

"Must not have been important, then."

"No, no, I'm sure it was was important. I think I'm sure. I think."

"The more you talk, the less I believe you."

"I should keep quiet, then, shouldn't I?"

"Probably."

"Hmm. I'm not convinced."

"Kouji, this is why I don't want to date you. Oh, damn, I didn't mean to say that."

"...Well, you've already said it, so you might as well keep going."

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not a good idea."

"Why NOT?"

"Argh - this is exactly what I'm talking about!"

"It would help if you actually tried to make sense, you know."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about too!"

"...Izumi. Slow down, take a deep breath, collect your thoughts, and spit it out."

"Okay."

"You good?"

"Yeah."

"So what was it?"

"You always make everything into a contest."

"Oh."

"Every time I turn around and say something to you, you just _have _to say something back. It gets kind of old."

"I thought that saying something back was just part of a normal conversation, Izumi. Unless you want to talk to a wall."

"..."

"...Ah. I just proved your point, didn't I?"

"Yep."


	213. Chapter 213

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU - wow, this is getting really long, isn't it?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...So...I guess today's over."

"Uh-huh."

"You know, we've been hanging out for more than thirty hours straight."

"...Oh, dang, no wonder I feel so tired."

"Hey!"

"Hey yourself. At least I didn't name off all of _your_ personality flaws, Izumi."

"I didn't name all of yours either. Just the biggest ones. The ones that my mother would hate to see in her son-in-law."

"Well, I don't know about that."

"Hm?"

"Your mother seems to like me."

"My mother is also _completely_ unaware that you started your own gang in junior high school."

"Really? I thought you told her."

"Nah. It wasn't a big surprise."

"...is that supposed to be an insult?"

"Well, it wasn't supposed to be a _compliment_."

"Ah."

"Hey, Kouji..."

"You did it again."

"Huh?"

"You started with Hey Kouji again."

"...well, excuse _me_ for trying to change the subject."

"Why were you going to change the subject?"

"Because it would've been awkward."

"Izumi. Could you be any more vague?"

"Erm...well..."

"Why are you turning red?"

"I'm not turning red!"

"Fine. Why are you blushing?"

"I'm not blushing!"

"..._FINE_. Why are you _vasodilating_?"


	214. Chapter 214

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU - wow, this is getting really long, isn't it?

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I fail to see the point."

"Are you just being stubborn - or am I explaining this the wrong way?"

"A little bit of both."

"Oh, great."

"Run it by me one more time."

"Okay, sure, fine, whatever."

"Just do it, Izumi."

"It's embarrassing because my father was part of the mafia back home."

"How incredibly kick-ass of him."

"That's not the point!"

"Obviously, because you seem to think it's a bad thing."

"It's _not_ a bad thing, Kouji?"

"...Let me rephrase. You seem to think it's a really bad thing."

"...It's not a _really bad thing_?"

"Okay, fine...maybe it is."

"Maybe."

"Anyways, what's your point?"

"The _point_ is that my mother obviously knows about the whole mafia thing..."

"I should hope so."

"...plus, they started dating or courting or whatever while the mafia thing was still going on..."

"Uh huh?"

"Are you connecting the dots yet?"

"...Oh."

"Right. And that's the whole reason she won't be bothered too much by your delinquency."

"I already told you it's not delinquency."

"Oh, so your gang did nothing but sit around and make cards for homeless children, right?"

"...That might be stretching it a little bit."

"Just a little."

"Right, just a little."


	215. Chapter 215

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU - This is getting out of control. It's actually gained _plot_. It's not supposed to have plot! DX

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Kouji, why _did_ you join a gang?"

"...Hell, I don't know."

"Did you have - oh, this is going to sound so wrong - did you have fun?"

"...There were some parts of it that were fun."

"Oh."

"Like playing hooky."

"But you do that anyway."

"Nowadays, I only do it when you do."

"Oh. Dang it."

"Why?"

"That means I'm responsible for your irresponsibility."

"Quite."

"Kouji, you really know how to make a girl feel loved."

"...In all honesty, I wouldn't mind knowing how to do that."

"How am I supposed to answer that?"

"I guess you aren't. Oh, well, I'll figure it out."

"...Oh! Back to what I was saying before..."

"Mmm-hmm?"

"Why'd you quit?"

"Hmm. That's a hard question. It'd be nice if I actually knew why I joined in the first place."

"Do you feel bad about it?"

"About being a stupid adolescent male?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"No, not really. I don't see why I should."

"Why not?"

"It's almost like an investment for the future."

"..._what_?"

"If I ever end up destitute on the streets, I can sell my memoirs."


	216. Chapter 216

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU. I'm going to let it go to its natural conclusion...

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi, before you say anything - try not to argue with me today."

"Is that even possible?"

"Just...try not to.

"Why not?"

"I'm not having a good day."

"But you always say that arguing helps with your bad moods."

"It does."

"Then why don't you want to argue?"

"I'm not in a bad _mood_. I'm just having a bad day."

"I never knew you could have one without the other, Kouji."

"Like I said. It's not that kind of bad day."

"What kind of bad day, then?"

"It's a bad smart aleck day."

"...What?"

"You know, a bad smart aleck day. Kind of like a bad hair day, except for smart alecks."

"Kouji, that doesn't make an ounce of sense."

"It doesn't have to. All you have to know is that I'm not willing to argue today."

"What if I want to argue?"

"You don't."

"But what if?"

"You _don't_."

"Kouji, don't be so inflexible. Sometimes I like arguing just as much as you."

"Not possible."

"I disagree!"

"You're wrong, then."

"...Hey, Kouji, aren't we arguing right now?"

"...Are we? Oh shoot, we are."


	217. Chapter 217

Current debt: 5.

Date Auction AU. FINALE.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...So...uh...what was up with that letter?"

"I DIDN'T WRITE IT."

"Woah. Calm down."

"I DIDN'T WRITE IT."

"Yes, I heard you the first time."

"GOOD."

"Why so indignant?"

"I HATE TAKUYA."

"Relax. I didn't think it was you."

"...Really?"

"Really."

"How did you know?"

"You wouldn't sign a letter with _Love Izumi-chan_."

"HE WROTE THAT?"

"Errr..."

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"Please don't do that. He's an idiot half the time, but it's the good kind of idiot."

"He is _not_ a good idiot. He's just an idiot."

"If you insist, Izumi-chan."

"DON'T FOLLOW HIS LEAD."

"Izumi-chan, if you don't calm down, you're going to start hyperventilating."

"..."

"Don't hold your breath, either. Izumi-chan."

"..."

"...Oh, shit. Please don't cry. I'll stop."

"I'm not crying because I'm _sad_. I'm just really, really, really..."

"Upset?"

"Yes - "

"Pissed off?"

"Yes - "

"Murderous?"

"...Yes..."

"Should I stop?"

"Yes..."

"Okay. Here's a tissue."

"...tissue?"

"What's wrong with the tissue?"

"You just happened to have a tissue in your pocket?"

"Yeah. Lucky me."


	218. Chapter 218

Current debt: 4.

Date Auction AU. FINALE.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why are you crying again?"

"No reason, really. I owe you."

"You owe me?"

"Uh-huh. For not believing that stupid letter. You just made my life so much easier."

"Glad to help."

"..."

"..."

"You know, Kouji, people don't usually kiss and run away."

"I wasn't running away! And that wasn't even a real kiss."

"What, was it supposed to be a fake kiss?"

"Kisses on the forehead don't count."

"Whatever. I'm just saying...it's usually easier to just ask."

"Ask?"

"You know. Ask the question. Again, I mean."

"...Oh. _That _question?"

"_That_ question."

"The big one?"

"Uh-huh."

"Oh. Will you marry me?"

"Not _that_ question!"

"Which _that_ question are you talking about, then?"

"The other one."

"_Which_ other one?"

"Oh, fine! I'll ask. Minamoto Kouji, do you want to go on a date with me this Saturday?"

"Orimoto Izumi, I would love to go on a date with you this Saturday."

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Not at all."

"By the way, if you ever ask me the other _that_ question again, you better get on one knee."

"Even if there are thumbtacks on the ground?"

"_Why_ would you propose in a place that has thumbtacks on the ground?"

"...Oh. Good point."

* * *

Thus concludes the longest DC arc ever. Dang. That took a while. I actually had to split the finale into two parts.


	219. Chapter 219

Current debt: 5

Library AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Wake up."

"...Hey."

"Hey. You fell asleep on the books again."

"Sorry."

"No worries."

"...Ow!"

"Minamoto, why do you hit your head on the ceiling so much? You've been coming to this library for years."

"I forgot about it."

"That's what you said last time. And the time before. And the time before that."

"Oh, shut up. I usually don't forget about it."

"Actually, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Shh. The librarian's listening."

"It's fine. Father's upset with me."

"He's upset with you, so it's _fine_?"

"He doesn't like confrontation."

"Ah. So he's just ignoring you."

"Right."

"Convenient."

"Mmm-hmmm. Absolutely. Come on, I'll make you some hot chocolate."

"That'd be nice."

"Why are you still here?"

"Reading, obviously."

"But you don't have to study anymore. I heard from Father that you passed the Professorship Exam. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"...You don't sound too happy about it."

"I'm not."

"..."

"...Why are you laughing?"

"Sorry."

"I didn't ask for an apology, Orimoto. I asked why you were laughing."

"It's kind of hard to imagine you as a teacher."

"God, don't remind me."

"Think about all the young minds you'll be molding..."

"Oh, hell."

"Oh, yes. Here's your hot chocolate, by the way."

"Orimoto, I don't need lukewarm chocolate water. I need hard liquor."


	220. Chapter 220

Current debt: 5

Library AU, continued.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Good afternoon, Professor."

"...What are you doing here, Orimoto?"

"It's a very long story."

"I figured as much. Sit down. No, not there, sit in the other chair."

"Why does it matter?"

"_That_ chair is only for troublemakers."

"...You have a special chair for them?"

"Mmm. It's the most uncomfortable chair I could find."

"...it looks alright."

"It feels much worse than it looks, Orimoto. Trust me."

"Really? Let me try."

"Go ahead."

"..._Ow_."

"You see?"

"That really hurts. It's like there's a tray of needles right under my leg."

"That's the point."

"You must be a pretty harsh teacher, Minamoto."

"Not always."

"No?"

"No."

"I find that kind of hard to believe."

"It's true. I'm not always a harsh teacher."

"...and when you're not harsh, what _are_ you?"

"Not teaching."


	221. Chapter 221

Current debt: 5

Library AU, continued.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Let's get to the point, Orimoto. Why are you here?"

"My Father asked me how you were doing."

"And?"

"And I told him you were doing fine."

"And?"

"And he decided that my word wasn't enough."

"Ah."

"I'm supposed to come here and give him a nice, detailed, written report about how you're doing."

"Sounds like something he would say."

"Tell me about it."

"Couldn't you just show him the letters?"

"Minamoto...do you really want me to show him your letters?"

"Why not?"

"...do you remember what you wrote in them?"

"Work?"

"Kouji, you practically made your own language out of profanity. I can't even count how many times you damned the world to hell."

"...Oh. You didn't show him, right?"

"Of course not!"

"Good."

"Kouji, you _do_ realize that you wouldn't be alive right now if I showed my father the letters, right?"

"You're not supposed to call me that."

"Oh! Sorry. I'm not used to calling you by your last name."

"It's for show."

"I know."

"Let's hope that no one heard you."

"Right...do the students like to eavesdrop?"

"You might as well ask if humans like to _breathe_."


	222. Chapter 222

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Well, since you're already here, you might as well make yourself useful."

"Mmm...how?"

"Grade these."

"What? But I - "

"No buts. If you want food and board, you're going to have to work for it."

"You're so cheap, Kou - Minamoto."

"I'm not cheap. I'm just running on a deadline."

"Well, _I_'m not free labor. Go find yourself an assistant."

"I had one."

"...So...where is he?"

"She."

"Oh. Where is _she_?"

"Quit when I rejected her."

"She liked you _that_ way? But - you're technically - "

"Taken. I know. She didn't."

"...You're not taken, Kou - Minamoto."

"For god's sake, I give up. Just call me Kouji."

"_Finally_. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to stop and think every single time I want to say your name?"

"I bet. It's almost as annoying as listening to you change the subject whenever I feel like the conversation's actually going somewhere."

"Fine."

"So. Yes, Orimoto, I'm taken."

"...No, not really."

"Okay, let me put it this way. Would you mind if I went out with another girl?"

"Depends on what you went out _for_. If it was just to buy eggs or something..."


	223. Chapter 223

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"I don't understand the answer key for this problem, Kouji."

"Why not?"

"What's this arrow supposed to mean?"

"Oh, that?"

"Yeah."

"It's just to remind myself not to give partial credit on that problem."

"...You really are a harsh teacher."

"No, no, it's just a really easy problem."

"Kouji, half of your class is failing. I checked."

"Well, that's not my problem, is it?"

"Are you even trying to teach them?"

"If 'them' refers to the people who _want _to learn, then yes, I am."

"...Oh, Kouji. Should I even bother with grading anymore?"

"Of course. There are a few good students in that stack."

"But the grades are depressing...and I'm not even getting paid."

"Now you're just being difficult."

"Glad you noticed, dear."

"...It's one thing to call me _Kouji_...but _dear_?"

"It's a term of endearment, Kouji. Like honey bun or sweetheart."

"..."

"Don't worry, I don't really like those nicknames either."

"Thank god."


	224. Chapter 224

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Wake up, Izumi."

"...what time is it?"

"It's time for you to go back home."

"Oh. Mmm."

"Come on. Out."

"..."

"Give me those papers. I'll finish up."

"Okay."

"...Hey. Are you sick?"

"What? No. I'm just tired. We got a new shipment of books back home."

"Oh, I see."

"..."

"..."

"I guess I'll see you later, Kouji."

"How are you getting home?"

"By horse."

"Oh."

"What a _joy_."

"Horses aren't that bad."

"Tell that to my bruises."

"You're not bruised at all."

"That's because I didn't ride a horse to get here."

"No?"

"No, Father paid for a carriage."

"...A _carriage_."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Why not just use a horse?"

"Well - he's kind of traditional, I guess. Not that I'm complaining. Carriages are much more comfortable than horses."

"No, not really."

"Yes really. How on earth did people ride horses without saddles in the old days?"

"I'm...pretty sure they still had knees and legs back then, Izumi."


	225. Chapter 225

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

Dear Kouji (and I'm going to keep using _dear_, so get used to it),

Things have been going well over here. My Father has finally gotten used to the idea that you're gone, but it hasn't helped his temper very much, if at all. He wants to know how his favorite student is doing, by the way. Maybe you should send him a few letters. Or, better yet, you could come back home for a visit. No pressure. Not from _my_ end, anyway. Father's a different story.

I've finally finished translating all the books that he wanted. You should send me more letters - he gives me less busy work when you do.

The government decided to extend the draft. I'm sure you already heard about it, but I don't think you need to worry yet. They're probably not looking for newly hired professors from the middle of nowhere.

We haven't had any serious problems with officers recently. What about you? Have you gotten a new assistant yet? If so, you should probably warn him about how cranky you get after twelve at night. It's like some kind of personality disorder, seriously. Are you paying the poor people, at least?

Yours truly,

Izumi


	226. Chapter 226

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

Izumi (Notice that I did _not_ use Dear. _Dear_ is for love letters and firing people),

I'm perfectly aware that your Father wants to know how I'm doing. In fact, he's sent me about three shelves worth of books that are almost completely unrelated to my job. I think most of those books were translated by you - or at least, I hope so. There doesn't need to be another person in the world with such unreadable calligraphy.

At any point, I hope he realizes that I'm only fluent in about three of the languages that he sent me. Yes, I admit it, you're much better at that than I am.

I'm not sure I have _anything_ to do with how much busy work your Father gives you, Izumi...maybe you're just paranoid, did you ever consider that? By the way, happy birthday. I would have sent your present with this letter, but the mail carriers around here are a bit flaky, to say the least. I'll bring it to you when I come for a visit.

Yours,

Kouji

P.S. I do _not_ get cranky after twelve at night.


	227. Chapter 227

Current debt: 5

Library AU

In which Kouji and Izumi have the exact same personality flaw.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji?"

"Hey. Long time no see - "

"Kouji! I'm so relieved!"

"...what on earth?"

"Get inside. Get inside right now."

"What...on _earth_? Don't drag me."

"Shh."

"...Okay, fine. What are you _doing_?"

"The officers are here."

"And? I have residency in another province. They can't do anything about me."

"It's better to be safe than sorry."

"This is over the _top_, Izumi."

"Shh."

"Don't worry so much."

"It's not my fault that I worry. Most of the men around here have gotten their notices already."

"Again - I don't even live around here anymore."

"You used to."

"And how would they know that, Izumi?"

"My father keeps good records."

"And he _showed them_?"

"Of course. You read my letter, right?"

"You said, and I quote, that there weren't many problems with the officers."

"Right, Kouji. Not _many_."

"...God damn it. You could have made that clear the first time!"

"I thought that you and your annoying habit of _reading too much into things_ would've come to the right conclusion."

"How was I supposed to know that you were counting on me to be paranoid?"


	228. Chapter 228

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey. What happened?"

"Not much, actually. You fell asleep on the tower."

"Oh."

"If you get sick, it's not my fault."

"I'm not going to get sick."

"I didn't say you were going to."

"Then what was the point of saying something like that, Kouji?"

"I was stating the obvious."

"If it was obvious, it didn't need to be stated."

"Somebody woke up cranky this morning."

"Oh, hush. It's not like you haven't had bad mornings."

"According to you, I don't have _good_ ones."

"When did I say that, Kouji? You're perfectly fine as long as you get enough sleep - which doesn't happen very much."

"Hey, that's not my fault."

"You _could_ just go to bed, you know."

"I guess. You're really cranking up the nagging today, aren't you? Practicing for married life?"

"Shut up. I don't nag. I argue. And debate."

"Uh huh."

"Besides, I'm not ready to get married, and I won't be for a _very_ long time."

"Technically, you could..."

"What are you talking about?"

"...you turned eighteen, didn't you?"

"The sixteenth already passed?"

"Three days ago."

"Oh."

"...you forgot your own birthday?"

"I guess I did..."

"Izumi, why are you so oblivious? The apocalypse could have come and you'd still be toiling away in the basement."

"Not always - "

"Or sleeping in the tower."

"No - "

"Or getting engaged to random men on the street."

"...Okay, that one was an _accident_, alright?"

"I was an accident?"

"..."


	229. Chapter 229

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, Kouji..."

"Mmm?"

"It's time for dinner."

"Okay."

"Do you want mashed potatoes?"

"That'd be nice."

"What about a cup of tea?"

"That'd be nice."

"Pass the bowl."

"...What on earth is in there?"

"It's just a kind of root, Kouji."

"It looks like dried grass."

"That's basically what it is. Don't worry. It tastes better than it looks."

"God, I hope so."

"It does."

"Hm. Do I trust you? Ow! I was kidding, woman."

"Do you want a bagel?"

"Maybe later."

"...Do you want to get married?"

"Maybe lat - wait. _What?_"


	230. Chapter 230

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji?"

"..."

"Er...Kouji? You're not _broken_, are you?"

"I think I might be."

"Oh. Why?"

"Izumi, how would _you_ react if I proposed while serving you mashed potatoes?"

"Well, technically we're already engaged..."

"I mean, proposed in a stricter sense."

"I would probably ask if you were kidding."

"...What if I was serious?"

"Well, first off, that's not going to happen."

"Marry me."

"..."

"There. I just proved you wrong."

"Kouji, I'm very tempted to say _no_ right now."

"But?"

"But since we're already engaged..."

"Ah. Good. Come with me."

"Wait - where are we going?"

"To get married."

"But - I don't have a white dress!"

"...I'm dragging you to the temple at night, in the middle of dinner, in the freezing cold...and the only complaint you have is that you don't have a white dress?"


	231. Chapter 231

Current debt: 5

Library AU

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...oh, Father...I can explain."

"Actually, no, she can't."

"Kouji! Try and help me out!"

"I don't think I _can_, Izumi."

"Well, don't just - I'm sorry, Father."

"I think he's traumatized."

"That's mostly your fault."

"How is it my fault? He's not even my father."

"Which is why you shouldn't talk."

"I don't think _talking_ is the problem here. I think it's lack of privacy."

"Shush - oh, Father, are you alright?"

"..."

"...he left. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?"

"I'm pretty sure it's a very, very bad sign."

"Oh, god. I didn't mean to let him see..."

"So you were planning on getting married without him knowing about it?"

"No - I mean...well...yes."

"...God, I would hate to be your father."


	232. Chapter 232

Library AU: finale part 1

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...are you going back to the University now?"

"Of course."

"Oh."

"What, are you going to miss me?"

"Of course!"

"..."

"What?"

"I wasn't expecting an honest answer, to tell you the truth."

"You wanted me to lie?"

"No, I just expected a little bit of - denial."

"Kouji, you dragged me to the temple to get married on a _whim_ late at night without my father's permission - _and __I let you_. I don't think denial's going to be a problem."

"Ah. You have a point."

"Yes, I know. I _always_ do."

"...Pfff."

"What?"

"You have a better pompous-rich-man look than _I_ do."

"You're not rich, Kouji."

"...what about pompous?"

"Well, maybe a little."

"...You really are honest."

"Of course. You know, I'm going to miss you, pompousness and all."

"Me too."

"..."

"..."

"...well, that was a little awkward. Should we try that again?"

"Definitely. More sarcasm this time."

"Oh...why _more_ sarcasm?"

"Because it's easier that way."

"Fine. Minamoto Kouji, I am going to miss you, so you should send letters as often as you can."

"Orimoto - no - _Minamoto_ Izumi, I will _only_ send letters if you do."

"Done. Shake on it?"

"Of course."

* * *

First part of the finale...and hiatus breaker. I am so sorry for my lateness...real life got in the way. Rest assured I will do my best to stop it from happening again. I'm over halfway done, after all.

The second part is going up later today.


	233. Chapter 233

Library AU: finale part 2

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Is that the one?"

"No. Look for a carriage with blue cushions."

"That one had blue cushions!"

"It was _full_ already, Izumi."

"...fine...is it that one?"

"Let me see...Yes."

"Oh."

"..."

"I guess it's time to say goodbye."

"..."

"Wha - hey! Kouji, you almost made me fall over!"

"Shut up...you feel lot warmer than you look."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you still look sick."

"And whose fault is that - I think the carriage driver is getting impatient."

"...Hey, Izumi, want to come with me?"

"Are you _insane_?"

"Maybe. Wasn't there a philosopher who thought that love was a mental illness?"

"Yeah - just like how there's been philosophers who think that food is optional."

"That's _fasting_, Izumi."

"That's _insanity_, love."

"Well, then. What's wrong with being insane?"

"Depends. What's your definition of insane?"

"Getting on that carriage and coming to the University with me."

"..."

"Okay, fine. Let's leave it up to fate."

"...Oh, no, Kouji, we are _not_ deciding this on a coin toss."

"Oops. Look. Heads."

"You didn't even ask me if I wanted Heads or tails - Kouji! Put me down! Kidnapping is a _crime_, you know that?"

"Well, are you going to tell the police?"

"..."

"I thought so. Now hush. I don't want the driver to kick us out."

"I don't even have my clothes, Kouji."

"We'll buy some."

"Or my glasses."

"You look better without them."

"Or my books."

"You can't read them without your glasses anyway."

"..."

"Now, do you have any more objections?"

"I'm not going to have anything to do, Kouji."

"As someone who's known for you years, Izumi...that's a _lie_."

"What about my father?"

"What about him? He's not crippled. He can take care of himself."

"...You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?"

"Hmm, well, you can definitely put it that way. Now, are you still going to complain?"

"No...except about the clothes thing. Hey, Kouji, what's this?"

"Those are the bags."

"Your bags?"

"Mmhm...why?"

"...If they're your bags, why do they have _my_ books?"

"...Let me see that."

"..."

"..."

"...Oh my god. I've got pretty much _everything_. Who packed this?"

"I don't know. I only packed my own things."

"...So then...it has to be _him_."

"Izumi...your father..."

"My father..."

"...is a great man."

"...Agreed."_  
_

* * *

Second part of the finale...read the previous one to get what's going on.

Omake coming up!


	234. Chapter 234

Library AU: Omake

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

Dear Kouji,

I _did_ promise to write you letters, so here's the first one. Come out for breakfast. I'm trying out a new recipe for pancakes. I hope you like it, because it actually took a while for me to figure out what a 'cup' was. Who wrote this thing? It's got the most ambiguous measurements I've ever seen. And the strangest names. What on earth is a tablespoon? I'm guessing it's not a spoon as big as a table.

Oh, and where's the sugar bag? The shaker doesn't have enough.

By the way, you have some packages from your students. I'm willing to bet that they're bribes from the parents to get them better grades.

Yours truly,

Izumi

* * *

Izumi,

Gretchen is a hawk, not a carrier pigeon.

Get out of the kitchen, stop abusing my poor bird, and come back to bed. It's way too cold to get up.


	235. Chapter 235

AU: Virtual Reality

Last serious AU arc before I get to the Holiday specials!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Why did you want to come here, Kouji?"

"It's nice."

"It's _creepy_. Couldn't we go somewhere else?"

"Hey, it's my turn to pick, remember?"

"Still! A _cave_?"

"I wanted to show you something. Come on."

"Kouji, don't _do_ that! What if you fall off?"

"I'm not going to fall _off_, woman. The wall's at least five feet wide."

"But it's dark - you won't be able to see if there's a rock in the way!"

"Quit worrying. It's not like I'll actually die."

"Crazier things have happened!"

"..."

"Just get down. Please?"

"Oh, fine."

"Thank you."

"You worry too much. It's going to give you gray hairs."

"I don't think that you can age in the Digital World, Kouji..."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not _real_."

"Hello? It's called the _Digital_ World for a reason, Izumi."

"Exactly! If they put aging in here, nobody would want to join."

"...Why not? They're already adding pain sensors. Why not a bit of arthritis?"

"Wait - they're adding pain sensors?"

"You didn't know? That was the whole point of you coming in early today."

"...They're adding _pain sensors_?"

"Yes, Izumi, that's what I said. You would make an excellent parrot."

"God, no wonder you're giving me an actual headache."


	236. Chapter 236

AU: Virtual Reality

Last serious AU arc before I get to the Holiday specials!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Ouch! Dang it!"

"How do you manage to trip over the same rock _twice_?"

"Oh, shut up, Kouji."

"You've lost ten HP already. If you keep this up, you'll be dead by morning."

"Then get me a health potion."

"Sure. Don't you wish these existed in real life?"

"...Well, in real life, tripping a few times can't kill you."

"You have a point."

"You know, adding pain sounds like a great idea, but it's actually really annoying."

"Tell me about it - oh, damn. I've only got a fifty-point health potion left."

"And?"

"You're only missing ten points. Such a waste."

"...Kouji, just hand it over. Do you really want me to complain all the way to the next town?"

"Not at all. Here, catch."

"Thanks. Ugh, I'm so glad that the developers haven't put taste in. I bet these potions would be disgusting."

"Don't jinx us."


	237. Chapter 237

AU: Virtual Reality

Last serious AU arc before I get to the Holiday specials!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...As soon as we get out of here, I'm _quitting_."

"Ha ha. I doubt it, Kouji."

"I'm serious - OW. Damn it!"

"Careful, or you'll lose more HP."

"It's not like I'm _trying_ to lose more."

"Sure. How on _earth_ you managed to break the rock?"

"It's not my fault that the cliff decided to collapse."

"It shouldn't have. People must have been walking on it too much. Or you might have gained weight."

"..._Or_ it's a glitch in the system. I made a bug report just in case."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The _problem_ is that I'm hovering at six HP, and we're miles away from town - and you took my last health potion."

"Sorry?"

"At least we know that the pain sensors work."

"Yeah...a little _too_ well. Want to log out?"

"Definitely. And then I'm quitting, dammit."

"Why?"

"..."

"Right, right. Bad question...how's the leg?"

"It actually feels broken. Fuck."

"...points for realism?"

"Shut up and give me the terminal."

"Okay. See you later...well, _if _I see you later. Are you serious about quitting?"

"Yes."

"I thought you liked this job, though."

"Not if it hurts like a bitch."

"Oh. Okay..."

"You gonna miss me?"

"Maybe. You were a good partner, Kouji."

"...Hey. Izumi."

"What?"

"Find me in the real world sometime."

"Wait what?"

"See you."

"_Wait_...oh. My. God. He did _not_ just leave in the middle of a conversation. I am going to teach that man some manners..."


	238. Chapter 238

Holiday specials until Jan 1!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Izumi."

"..."

"...Izumi!"

"What? What?"

"It's Christmas."

"...Oh!"

"Are you going to get up?"

"If you get me my bathrobe."

"What? Oh, fine. Here."

"Yes! It's time to open presents! Pres-ents!"

"You're like a little kid."

"Don't spoil my fun, Anata."

"Should I wake the kids?"

"Knowing them, they're probably already awake."

"Course they are..."

"Hey, Kouji, did we ever hear back from the brunette lady about adopting Haruka?"

"Shh."

"Why do I have to be quiet...? Oh! That's fantastic!"

"Yes, but try not to give it away before New Year's."

"Alright."

"Wow, that certainly woke you up."

"I'm so happy, you have no idea, Kouji."

"You're a grown woman and you're jumping up and down. I think I have _some_ idea."


	239. Chapter 239

Holiday specials until Jan 1!

Continuation of yesterday!

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"..."

"Kouji, we should take that down, shouldn't we?"

"Definitely."

"Who would put mistletoe there?"

"I don't know. Kouichi, maybe."

"But why would your brother - ?"

"Who knows. Do the children know what mistletoe is for?"

"Haruka's too young, but Rin and Haku might."

"They might?"

"Well, I kind of told them. It was in one of the stories they borrowed from the library."

"...there was mistletoe in a children's story? No, never mind that. I guess I'm not surprised anymore."

"Well, at least we found it _now_ instead of later. Mistletoe's pretty poisonous."

"It's not like anyone's going to _eat_ it off the ceiling, though."

"Well..."

"...Izumi, don't tell me. You've done it before?"

"When I was eight!"

"Uh-huh. And did you manage that?"

"I found a ladder in the closet."

"...and decided to eat the mistletoe?"

"Well, I thought it looked like candy."

"..."

"Kouji, don't laugh!"

"Sorry. It's just that - now I understand why the kids are such troublemakers. It's probably in their blood."


	240. Chapter 240

Holiday specials until Jan 1!

Continuation of yesterday.

In which logic is sacrificed for matrimonial harmony.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why? You told Rin that Santa doesn't exist, Kouji!"

"It's true. And she's old enough to know better. When were _you_ planning to tell her?"

"When she gets a little older."

"How old?"

"Maybe...thirteen?"

"...you were going to wait until she was thirteen to tell her that Santa doesn't exist?"

"_You_ could have waited until she was eleven, at least!"

"She already knew."

"..."

"Ouch."

"Don't 'ouch' me. What were you expecting? A hug?"

"..."

"Promise me that you won't tell the others until they're thirteen."

"Thirteen? That's way too much, Izumi."

"Fine. Twelve."

"Eleven."

"Twelve."

"Eleven."

"Eleven and a half?"

"Haruka and Haku both have winter birthdays. That means that we'd tell them during the _summer_, Izumi."

"Right. They'll have six months to get used to the idea."

"...Izumi, they're not going to need six months. Learning that Santa doesn't exist is _not_ a traumatic experience. Just make it eleven."

"Do you really want them to start asking _you_ for presents instead of Santa, Kouji?"

"...Alright, twelve."


	241. Chapter 241

Holiday specials until Jan 1!

Continuation of yesterday.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"A-a-"

"Bless you."

"Achooo!"

"Should I say bless you again or is that part of the same sneeze?"

"I think it was the same - a - a - achoo!"

"And...we're out of tissues. Again."

"Mnnnggggh."

"What possessed you to go outside without a jacket?"

"It was snowing, Kouji - and the weatherman said it would melt by noon."

"Right, well, obviously the weatherman was _wrong_."

"I wasn't the only one!"

"Haku is hyper enough to generate heat for an electric blanket. Haruka actually wore a coat. And Rin...where did Rin go?"

"She went back to sleep. Said it was too cold."

"Oh. Like me."

"I swear, she's like a miniature version of you."

"Here, more tissues. Of course. And Haku is like a miniature version of _you_."

"Nah...I wasn't that hyper - a - a - achooo!"

"Or as cold-resistant, I bet."

"No, this, this is nothing. I'm going to go play outside with the kids later. No little cold is going to stop me."

"...Can I convince you to wear more layers, at least?"

"Of course. I am a woman on a mission. A mission that does not include pneumonia."

"Glad to hear it."


	242. Chapter 242

Holiday specials until Jan 1!

Continuation of yesterday.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Oh...hot chocolate...you shouldn't have."

"I was going to use it to thaw your frozen body if it came to that."

"..."

"What?"

"Kouji, I may be sick, but I'm pretty sure that it takes more than an hour of snow to freeze somebody."

"I used to be sure that you couldn't get a cold just from being cold, too, but then you had to prove me wrong..."

"I'm not actually sick, though."

"Right. Because there's a better explanation for why you've been bedridden with a fever for the past day or so."

"Well..."

"You can't possibly be sick, right?"

"...Well, at least I don't have pneumonia..."

"Yet. Oh, Rin."

"Hi."

"Is that more hot chocolate? Thank you."

"You're welcome, Daddy."

"Did you make sure to use the _new_ cocoa mix? Not the one that's expired?"

"Yep. What's expired?"

"It means that you shouldn't eat it."

"Oh. Okay."

"Aww. Hi, sweetheart."

"Hi, Mommy. Daddy says you're sick and if I touch you I'll get sick and then I'll make Haku sick and then he'll spread germs to everybody he talks to."

"Is that right?"

"Yep. Right, Daddy?"

"Er...right."


	243. Chapter 243

Holiday specials until Jan 1!

Continuation of yesterday.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Ow...My _ears_. Remind me never to buy the children New Year's horns again."

"Will do, Kouji. How was the cake?"

"It was a little - "

"Too sweet?"

"...How did you know?"

"Kouji, you say everything's too sweet. Even barbecue."

"That's because of the sauce!"

"...you know, I've had barbecue sauce many, many times, but it's never been sweet to me. I think you have a mutant tongue."

"To each his own."

"His and _her_."

"Ugh, don't do that. It's only the first day of the year."

"Right. You should make a resolution to be less sexist."

"I'm _not_ sexist."

"Suuuure."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let me ask you a question. When Rin turns sixteen - "

"God forbid."

"When she turns sixteen, would you get mad if she kissed a boy?"

"..._hell yes_."

"What about Haku? Would you get mad if he kissed a girl?"

"..."

"Well?"

"You have...a point."

* * *

I want to wish everyone a very happy New Year's - and post one of my biggest resolutions for the year.

It is...

Finishing Close Enough. (and optionally AYDSTU) Hold me to it, pm me, poke me, do whatever it takes to keep me motivated! I'm counting on you!


	244. Chapter 244

New AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hmmmmmm. What about this one?"

"I'm not sure that I need to have a dress that frilly, sir."

"It's not so much about need, is it?"

"...Right. Point taken. Do I need to have a mask?"

"Not that I'm aware of - unless my dear mother has changed her mind."

"Sir, with all due respect, I'm beginning to _not_ like this idea very, very much."

"Izumi, with all due respect, join the club."

"Could you please leave me out of this? I'm sure plenty of the other maids would love to be your escort service, sir."

"Right, but do the other maids know instinctively when I'm about to kill someone?"

"They would if they got stuck with you as long as I have, sir."

"I'm wounded."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit of a jerk, your Highness?"

"God, don't call me that."

"Your Highness, your Highness, your Highness."

"..."

"You've got a twitch in your left eyebrow, your Highness. Just thought I'd let you know."


	245. Chapter 245

New AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"So. How exactly did this happen, sir?"

"I'm really not sure. One of the girls just kind of fell over when the clock sounded - and then she ran out."

"And somehow, she dropped her shoe, too?"

"That's not really a surprise. I don't know how people ever run in high heel shoes."

"Oh, sir...this kind of thing really only happens to you."

"Should we return the shoe?"

"Hmmm. I don't know. She looked like she could afford to lose a shoe or two."

"That's true, but where would I _put_ it? It's a glass shoe. It'll probably break."

"It's really small, too..."

"...This is incredibly surreal, Izumi."

"What is?"

"I'm at a ball, dancing with a girl, some other girl comes running in _late_, and she's dressed up more than my _mother_, which I've never even seen before, but then she leaves at midnight and drops her shoe along the way. Honestly. _What_ on earth happened?"

"...Perhaps you're just popular with the crazy types, _your Highness_."

"What did I say about - ugh. Never mind. Call me whatever you want."

"Are you sure, Your Majesty Prince Minamoto Kouji, Heir to the Throne and Future Emperor of the Trans-Oceanic Commonwealth, Commander-in-chief of the Navy, Former - "

"I take it back! I take it back!"


	246. Chapter 246

New AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You alright, Izumi?"

"I'm - fine. Just...ouch."

"I'm sorry for dragging you along."

"I already told you it's _fine_."

"...I should've let you stay at home."

"Sir, if you keep apologizing, I might have to hit you."

"...Oh, fine..."

"Besides, it's not your fault that Ella's stepmother is a bit abusive."

"Her name is Ella? You're on a first-name basis now?"

"Yes, sir."

"Huh. That was fast. Weren't you the one calling her crazy yesterday?"

"She's not - or at least - she could be a _lot_ worse."

"I will never understand female bonding."

"Mmm..."

"Why did the old lady hit you?"

"I'm not sure...ouch. I don't need this - "

"Yes, you do. This is a cleaner. It'll keep the cuts from getting dirty."

"But it hurts!"

"That means it's working."

"It hurts..."

"Shhh. Alright. That should be enough."

"Hmmph."

"You can thank me later, when it heals up without scarring."

"Or I can thank you _now_, and feel absolutely free to complain about the pain for the rest of the carriage ride."

"...does it really hurt that much?"

"Sir...drop the guilty look. It's not your fault."

"You didn't answer the question."

"No, it's not that bad. It's like getting a paper cut, seriously."

"...being hit with a glass shoe is like getting a paper cut, Izumi?"

"...Sir..."

"You're an idiot. Don't do that again, do you hear me?"

"And how, exactly, was I supposed to avoid it? _Please ma'am, I'm the Prince's servant, and I reckon he'll be quite unhappy to see you hit me with that shoe_?"

"Leave out the _I reckon_ and sure, why not."


	247. Chapter 247

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"You...threw her stepmother in jail? Why on earth did you do that?"

"She hit you!"

"That's not a _crime_! Don't abuse your authority!"

"I am _not_ abusing my authority! She could have seriously hurt someone! She _did_ seriously hurt someone!"

"I'm not seriously hurt."

"..."

"Ouch."

"Oh, really?"

"...It's almost healed, sir."

"Almost isn't good enough. At any point, I don't want that to happen again."

"Sir, you do realize that if someone appeals to the Court, they're going to have to release her."

"No. They won't."

"...Sir, what did you do?"

"Ah...about that..."

"Sir. What. Did. You. Do?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Sir, I have access to your entire financial network. I know your contacts inside and out. I can tell you the number of times you've had _insomnia_ in the past month, for god's sake. Do _not_ try to hide things from me."

"So demanding."

"What have you done to her?"

"Nothing."

"...Do I hear a _yet_ at the end of that?"

"...Possibly."


	248. Chapter 248

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"What are you _going_ to do with her?"

"Well, she's going to live out a nice long life...probably in a dungeon somewhere."

"..."

"Don't look at me like that, Izumi. What would _you_ have done?"

"_I _would've just taken Ella out of the house."

"...So what's the problem?"

"Huh?"

"I did that too."

"...You took Ella out of the house?"

"She's living in the magician's tower now. As his apprentice."

"So I was right!"

"Yes, you were. Your woman's intuition is really scary, Izumi."

"She made up the fairy godmother, didn't she?"

"No - she actually created one. Spontaneous magical sentience."

"That is some incredible talent."

"Definitely."

"...you know, sir..."

"What?"

"Ella's rather pretty."

"...I guess she is."

"Is she not your type?"

"Well...let's just say that it's pretty awkward marrying a girl when I just threw her stepmother in jail."

"..."

"What?"

"Could you _stop_ being so honorable so that I can find you a decent _wife_? You're making my job so much harder!"


	249. Chapter 249

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Shit."

"Sir, not in public."

"Oh, for crying out loud, a little cursing isn't going to _kill_ my reputation."

"Your father is _right there_."

"He's not paying attention to me right now."

"That's...just pure luck."

"Either way, you have to agree with me. This is _not_ a good situation."

"Nope."

"Not at all."

"Nope."

"...do I really have to get married in two months?"

"That's what your father decided, yes."

"Izumi?"

"Yes?"

"Is it still possible to abdicate the throne?"

"Sir, don't be such a complainer. Just find yourself a pretty trophy wife and be done with it."

"But trophy wives have such...bland personalities."

"So? They make pretty children."

"With bland personalities!"

"Kouji, if you're the father, it's just not possible to have a bland personality."

"Thank you, I guess?"

"I can already hear the cries of the nannies who will lose their souls trying to take care of your offspring..."


	250. Chapter 250

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...quite a hiding place, your Majesty. I give you twenty minutes before the guards find you."

"Shh. They're coming."

"..."

"Seriously, your Majesty, you need to stop being such a child."

"Didn't I tell you not to call me that?"

"You also told me to call you whatever I like."

"Shhh...I changed my mind, didn't I?"

"Did you? I can't remember, your Majesty."

"But your memory is...my father told you to call me that, didn't he?"

"Your Majesty - "

"God damn it!"

"Your Majesty..."

"God damn it."

"I'll do my best not to say it."

"...What else does he want?"

"Well..."

"I'm _not_ going to call you Orimoto. That's what I call your _mother_."

"While I'm happy you can tell us apart, I don't think it's worth arguing with your father."

"You call _me_ childish? He's the one who's being a stubborn bastard!"

"It seems to run in the family, yes."


	251. Chapter 251

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...What on earth is this?"

"My father and I came to an agreement."

"...an agreement. This."

"Yes. It's a good idea, isn't it?"

"You want to find all the prettiest girls in the nation, have them fight each other, and see who wins?"

"You don't like it?"

"Kouji, why would you think of something like this? You're practically inviting girl assassins to come after you!"

"Ah, but _pretty_ girl assasins, who will make astoundingly well-adjusted children."

"...if you mean well-adjusted to a life of crime, you're probably right."

"Occupations are not inheritances, Izumi."

"Not unless you're the emperor."

"...Ah. You do have a point."

"Do you really want the world to know that you married a criminal?"

"Will they know that she's a criminal? No."

"It's still a _really bad idea_."

"But why? I have my dear bodyguard here to protect me."

"...Your Majesty - "

"Call me _sir_ at least. Or even _His Royal Idiocy_, like you used to."

"...You are an _idiot_."

"Ah, see, that's more like it."

"Right, right. Moving on. You do remember that I was hired to kill you, right?"

"I also remember that you decided not to because - what was your reason again, Izumi?"

"I thought you'd be a better ruler than the guy who wanted your head."

"Precisely."

"Clearly, I was mistaken."


	252. Chapter 252

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...So. What do you have to say about your brilliant plan now?"

"I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that you let nearly an army of women into the palace..._armed_, at that - "

"We've been over that part, and I'm not changing my mind."

"ARMED, I say, BAD IDEA."

"Not changing my mind - we've been _over this_."

"..."

"What's with that look, Izumi?"

"Don't blame me if you get a knife in your windpipe or something."

"Izumi, if I get a knife in my windpipe, I won't be _able_ to blame you."

"Fair enough..."

"You see? Nothing for you to worry about."

"...but you'd have a _knife in your windpipe_."

"Assassination is a pretty normal way to go for my family."


	253. Chapter 253

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Sir. I am _not_ sleeping with you."

"That's not the point. The point is that you don't have a room because for _some _reason the housekeeper decided to kick you _out_."

"It's your fault. She's just making room for the army of women you've unleashed."

"..."

"...what?"

"You are _not_ sleeping in a tent, Izumi."

"The other servants are - "

"There are _empty rooms_ in town, at least. Get the servants to the inn and tell the housekeeper I'm footing the bill."

"You're..."

"And you, you're going to sleep in my room."

"I am _not_ going to do that - "

"I'll sleep in the master bedroom."

"...but - but - "

"Izumi. Just do it."

"...this is insane. Do you have any idea how much people are going to _talk_ if you let your servant sleep in your rooms?"

"I have an idea, yes."

"But you don't care at all."

"Nope."

"..."

"..."

"Are you sure that your father didn't drop you on your head when you were a child?"

"He wasn't in charge of raising me until I was about ten, so...no, he couldn't have."


	254. Chapter 254

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Okay, Izumi. I know you didn't like the plan, but did you really have to do that?"

"It has nothing to do with the plan! _They_ attacked _me_!"

"Really."

"Sir, wipe that smirk off your face."

"And who are _you_ to order me around?"

"Shut up...I mean...Uuuugh."

"Hm."

"Didn't I tell you to stop smirking?"

"You did."

"...stubborn bastard."

"You really don't have much room to speak, Izumi."

"I'm not nearly as stubborn as you."

"..."

"I'm not! Do you see _me_ having to blackmail and bribe people to have my way?"

"No, no, of course not. You just whack them a few times. Sometimes until they plead for mercy. Usually quite a while after that."

"...You're laughing at me."

"No, I'm just...well...yeah, you're right, I'm laughing at you."


	255. Chapter 255

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Hmmmm."

"...Sir. Why are you in my room?"

"Technically, it's my room."

"Technically, _every_ room in this place is your room - so you _know_ what I mean."

"I'm hiding."

"Not this again!"

"Shhh."

"I am _not _getting between you and your father."

"Who said I'm hiding from my father? I'm hiding from the girls."

"..."

"Why are you looking at me like that, Izumi?"

"This is entirely, completely your fault."

"Certainly. If they come in, will you protect me?"

"Be a man and suck it up."

"Cruel, Izumi-chan, cruel."

"...Izumi..._chan_?"

"Hmm...did I say that?"

"Yes, you did."

"Hmmmmm...do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes, I do."

"Hmmmmmmm. Izumi-chan. It's got a ring to it."

"...sir, is this revenge for the week I called you Your Majesty?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"Maybe I just like calling you Izumi-chan."

"...as you wish, Your Majesty."

"Izumi-chan."

"Your Majesty."

"Izumi-chan."

"Your Majesty."

"Izumi-chan. Oh, is that breafast?"

"Your Majesty. Yes, I think so."

"Izumi-chan. Shall we go?"

"Your Majesty...if you call me that in front of everyone, they're going to think that you're _interested_."

"...so? It's not like they're wrong."


	256. Chapter 256

AU!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Your Majesty...if you weren't the almost-Emperor, I would've _killed_ you for saying that."

"I consider that an improvement. There was a time when you would've killed me for _being_ the almost-Emperor."

"..."

"At any point, if you'd like me to actually...well, if you want me to stop, I don't mind."

"..."

"Izumi, you're starting to scare me a little. Say something."

"..."

"Please?"

"I...really don't know what to say."

"Oh, great. I knew this was a bad idea."

"It's not even a bad idea...it's just not exactly what I expected from you."

"Oh. What _did_ you expect out of me?"

"Um...some pretty trophy wife?"

"Didn't I tell you how boring that would be?"

"...yeah, yeah, you did."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Do you still have a problem with my proposal?"

"No, not really...unless you lock me in a tower like you did with Ella."

"That was _her_ choice, remember?"

"...right. Just don't lock me in a tower."

"What is it with you and towers, Izumi?"

"Mmm, well...it's a long story."

"Spill."

"What if I don't want to?"

"As your employer and sovereign...I command - "

"That is _not_ fair, sir."

"But it works."

"If I marry you, you won't have that kind of leverage anymore."

"Precisely! It's a win-win situation for you."


	257. Chapter 257

More and more of this AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Why me, sir?"

"Why not? You manage my life incredibly well. Much better than I do."

"Most emperors have the same problem."

"I was looking for a wife who can handle being threatened at knife point."

"Why not train one yourself?"

"...Too much work."

"It's too much work trying to make sure that your wife stays alive?"

"I'd rather marry someone who doesn't need training to do it."

"You're incredibly lazy for an emperor, sir."

"What's the problem with that? More time to myself means less time spent on things that make me want to kill myself."

"...fair enough, considering your family's history of suicides..."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Will try, sir."

"One more thing. Stop with the _sir_. It's annoying, and I don't want to be called sir by my own wife."

"But it's so strange calling you _Kouji_."

"But it's much more comfortable for me. I mean, even the horse-master calls me Kouji."

"The horse-master is _also_ sixty years old, and he's known you all your life."

"And? You've _saved_ my life at least six times. That's not enough?"

"...Fine, I'll call you Kouji."

"...excellent. Now, what was that about towers?"

"Uuuugh, would you just forget it already?"

"No. Absolutely not. Why don't you like towers?"

"...It's personal."

"A lot of things are personal, but it doesn't mean they should be secret."

"...Kouji, I hate it when you're logical."

"Mmm. So? You still haven't told me."

"...I was locked in a tower when I was younger."

"...What?"

"I was locked - "

"No, no, that's not what I was asking. You were locked in the tower?"

"...yeah."

"And you couldn't have - I don't know - broken a hole in the door?"

"There wasn't a door!"

"Then how did you get in?"

"Hell if I know!"

"Izumi...how did you get _out_?"

"I grew my hair long and used it as a rope."

"..."

"...What?"

"Izumi, are you trying to tell me that you seriously couldn't find a better way to get out of a tower than growing your hair long and using it to rappel down? I'd hate to see you trying to fight off a seige..."


	258. Chapter 258

AU: Epilogue!

Prince Charming is having a ball, and all the eligible girls are invited...including a few people who really don't want to be there.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey."

"...Hey."

"Good morning."

"What time is it, Kouji?"

"It's about five in the morning. Why are you up so early?"

"I don't know. I didn't feel too good."

"You're not sick, are you?"

"No, I'm definitely not sick - "

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Good grief, Kouji. I'm not going to die because of a little nausea."

"..."

"Stop worrying! You're going to give yourself wrinkles."

"I can't help it!"

"Damn it, you're more worried than _I_ am, and I'm the one who's pregnant!"

"..."

"Lighten up, Kouji. You're going to have plenty of things to worry about after the birth. Look forward to it."

"...speaking of the birth, don't we have to throw some kind of celebratory feast?"

"Yep. Don't forget to invite Ella."

"I won't. Wouldn't want her to curse the baby."

"She wouldn't do _that_."

"Who knows. Ella's a little...insane."

"No, she isn't, Kouji..."

"Oh, really?"

"Well, she's sane when it counts."

"Got any proof?"

"...Kouji, you're just going to have to trust me on this one."

"I don't. What if she curses the baby to die on her sixteenth birthday?"

"Why is it always a _her_ to you? And why the sixteenth?"

"Just because. I don't know. It's a hypothetical question."

"...okay, fine. I still don't think Ella would do something like that. She's not exactly...well, her idea of a weapon is a _spinning wheel_. I don't think the baby's in any danger."


	259. Chapter 259

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Minamoto - that was _insane_! You shouldn't barge into a civilian area in the middle of an airfight!"

"Been doing it for years."

"...no wonder they've been keeping you at the front lines."

"..."

"You're basically their pet killing machine."

"..."

"No response?"

"Your opinion really doesn't matter to me."

"Che. You really make the rest of us look like saints, Minamoto."

"...Enemy at three o'clock."

"I see them. Blitz?"

"Go ahead."

"Alright. Commence fire in three...two..."

"One."

"Wait - where are you _aiming..._"

"Stay still."

"Augh! Did you seriously _have_ to shoot so close to my plane?"

"Did you seriously have to say that I'm a pet killing machine?"

"...Touche."

"So are you. Are you watching the radar, Orimoto?"

"Very closely. They're passing the cliff up ahead. I'm going to storm their side. You?"

"Never mind. Try to stay out of my way."

"...No way. That's like asking to be shot at. By my own teammate, no less!"

"Fine, then, you can stay where you are."

"..."

"Where you'll be completely useless."

"Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"You see the one that's hanging in the front? It's probably a spy."

"...Oh no. No, no, no. You have _got_ to be kidding me. I am _not_ going to jump in there!"

"Risking your life is a normal part of being in a mission."

"I'm not going to be _any_ use to you dead, Minamoto."

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On _how_ you die."

"...Comforting."


	260. Chapter 260

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Shit - Orimoto!"

"...d...sh..."

"Orimoto?"

"...ina..."

"Fucking static. Can you hear me?"

"...o..."

"If you can hear me, spin your plane around."

"..."

"...fuck, this isn't good. Headquarters, do you read me?"

"_Loud and clear, Lobo._"

"Kaze isn't responding. Seems to be a problem with the radio."

"_Copy that_. _Cause of malfunction?_"

"Probably the missiles."

"..._Missiles? Are you serious, Lobo? What did you do this time?"_

"Lecture me later, why don't you? I need permission to make an emergency landing."

"_Permission granted__. Is Kaze still in the air?_"

"Yes. Sort of."

"_...is she alive_?"

"She should be. Unless something's changed in the last two minutes."

"_...Lobo, you owe me thirty gold if you need another partner after this._"

"Screw you, brother."


	261. Chapter 261

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Orimoto, are you going to die on me?"

"You know, most people would ask _'Are you okay_?' first."

"Mm, but you're talking, which automatically means that you're okay. Stand up."

"Che - "

"Is your leg stuck?"

"No. My leg's fine, but I think that I dislocated my shoulder. Where's my pocketknife?"

"How should I know?"

"Fine. Can I borrow yours so that I can cut myself free?"

"Here, let me do it. You'll probably end up cutting yourself."

"No, I won't, now hand me the pocketknife."

"No."

"Dammit, Minamoto..."

"What were you thinking with that last shot? I could have taken care of him."

"Force of habit. I'm not used to working in a team."

"What a coincidence, neither am I."

"...Ow..."

"I'm going to ignore that."

"Don't look - "

"I need to bandage this...what the _fuck_."

"I told you not to look. Let go."

"When did you get these?"

"On my last training module."

"_When_, Orimoto?"

"Two days ago."

"...These are at least an inch deep. What did you get hit with, a tiger?"

"No, just a weird bullet."

"What on earth possessed you to go on a A-class mission already injured?"

"I'm not crippled."

"I'd like to keep it that way."

"Don't bother - I'm barely injured."

"Hmph."

"Ah - !"

"What was that about being barely injured?"

"Shut up, Minamoto."


	262. Chapter 262

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Hey...Morning..."

"Morning. Long time no see, Orimoto."

"Are we...back home?"

"No."

"Then where...?"

"This is a rebel hospital."

"_Rebel?_ _Hospital_?"

"I bribed them."

"You bri - I am _not_ staying in a rebel hospital, Minamoto!"

"Why not?"

"Why not? Why NOT? Are you insane? We were just fighting them a while ago!"

"Three days ago, actually."

"We were just fighting them three days ago!"

"So?"

"...do you seriously not see a problem with this? We won't even get paid unless we check in with HQ."

"It doesn't matter. Don't you have vacation time?"

"I don't want to spend my vacation time in a rebel hospital!"

"You were _injured_, in the middle of nowhere, with a half-broken plane - what did you expect me to do?"

"...You could have let me fly my own plane. It was only half-broken."

"Hell no. You would've crashed into a cliff."

"Well, it would've been less suicidal than going to the rebels for help!"

"In case you haven't noticed, you're not dead yet. You can thank me later."

"...Jerk."

"Look, Orimoto, you needed medical care, and it was either them or me."

"Either them or you...?"

"Do I need to spell this out for you? You have wounds on your chest. If _I_ were bandaging them, then I would have to - "

"Oh! Oh. I see."

"So it was really in our best interest."

"Yes, yes. Thank you!"


	263. Chapter 263

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Shoot! Shoot, for god's sake!"

"I can't - stop pushing me!"

"Shoooot - _yes_!"

"Good lord..."

"Oh, you missed the center."

"Only because _somebody_ was getting in the way, Orimoto."

"I wasn't getting in your way. I was just talking. Now, if I had jumped in front of you, _that_ would be getting in the way."

"You're distracting."

"Only bad shooters blame their misses on distractions."

"Yes, well, most distractions don't involve little chipmunk girls yelling in my ear every five seconds."

"Chipmunk? Oh, that does it."

"Does what?"

"I'm challenging you to a duel as soon as we land!"

"...Are you serious, Orimoto? You just got out of the hospital."

"So? Duel me!"

"I don't fight girls."

"..."

"Oh, did I strike a nerve? O-ri-mo-to."

"That _really _does it. You are going to fight me whether you want to or not!"

"Nope."

"You don't have a choice in the matter!"

"Yes, I do, and I'm choosing to ignore you."

"Bastard - "

"Can't _hear_ you."

"I am going to _kill you_."

"Threaten me all you like. I'm not fighting you."

"Why not? Give me a good reason!"

"It's almost lunchtime."

"...Well...well...maybe after lunch, then."


	264. Chapter 264

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...So...what do we do now?"

"Now?"

"Now that we're back."

"Well, _first_, we wait until the next mission."

"They're not going to send us to the front line again, are they?"

"Probably."

"Damn."

"As long as you're my partner, that's the way it's going to stay."

"...Hey, Minamoto. Do you like this job?"

"It's a job. It pays well."

"But you don't even spend the money."

"It's good to have some. I don't plan on fighting like this forever. As soon as the war's over, I can retire."

"And live off your riches, and marry well, and have tons of strange little children?"

"Strange little - except for the last part, that sounded disgustingly domestic."

"That's the life of a typical middle-aged man."

"Can you imagine me as a typical middle-aged man?"

"Would you find it strange if I said yes?"

"...Er...yes?"

"Oh. Well, I can. Actually, it's easier to picture you as a _grandfather_ than a father."

"_What_?"

"You'd be the perfect grumpy old man."


	265. Chapter 265

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"...Well, that was...easy."

"No kidding. I thought they would give us another suicide mission."

"Don't jinx us. We still have to make it all the way to the Northern Territories."

"_Fantastic_."

"How's your chest?"

"Oh - it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good."

"Aww, Minamoto, were you worried?"

"Shut up. Ugh. Knew I shouldn't have asked."

"..."

"...you still there?"

"Yeah. I'm trying to decide whether or not to feel offended."

"Why don't you concentrate on controlling your plane instead?"

"Because I don't need to."

"...what, are you _looking_ for ways to kill yourself?"

"Of course not! That's _your_ specialty."

"..."

"What?"

"Orimoto, _who_ was the one who went on a mission while injured?"

"Shut up, Minamoto - it was just that _once_!"

"It was on our first mission."

"So?"

"You know, most girls try to make a good impression when they first meet someone. If that's what you were going for, you kind of failed."

"You _know_, most men would avoid pissing a woman off - especially a woman with a sniper plane."

"That's only because most men have never seen _you_ in a sniper plane."

"What? Why? A sniper plane is a sniper plane."

"Not when the pilot is somebody like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're more likely to neglect yourself to death than pose a threat to anyone else."

"Argh! How many times do I have to prove myself before you stop teasing me about that?"

"Better question, when will you stop reacting to it?"

"..."

"See, it's not _all_ my fault."

"...maybe I should ask for a better partner."

"They won't be able to do anything. I'm the best they have."

"That's just sad, Minamoto. I'd hate to see the worst they have."

* * *

Long one to make up for my inactivity. Chemistry exams are the WORST!


	266. Chapter 266

New AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Do we have to come?"

"It was an invitation from the Prime Minister. Of course we have to come."

"I'd really prefer not."

"Why?"

"It's in another country, Orimoto."

"So? We go to other countries on a daily basis."

"But we won't be flying this time."

"That's right. They're paying us to go on a cruise. Pardon me, but I don't see the problem."

"I'd rather fly there."

"No, they already paid for the ticket. You're going."

"Orimoto, you don't understand."

"What don't I understand?"

"If it weren't for the fact that I need it to survive, I'd never go anywhere _near_ water."

"...Huh?"

"Do I have to spell this out for you? I. Get. Sick. On. Boats."

"Wait - Minamoto, let me get this straight. You get _seasick_?"

"Yes."

"You can take diving hundreds of feet through the air, but you still get seasick?"

"Yes. You finally got it."

"How on earth is that possible? Are you allergic to water or something?"

"..."

"Why are you pinching your nose? That's not an answer, Minamoto."

"God, I knew I shouldn't have told you."


	267. Chapter 267

AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Wow, you weren't kidding..."

"_No_, I wasn't. Why'd you make me go on the boat?"

"Because you need to get to know your coworkers. I mean, they might save your life one day."

"It's not worth getting to know them if I'm going to be _sick_ the entire time. Besides, I'm more likely to save _them_ than the other way around."

"You won't be saving _anyone_ on a boat."

"...Hm?"

"Oh. Did I forget to mention it? There's a group of assassins that followed us on board."

"...And why exactly didn't you tell me before?"

"I forgot?"

"You're telling me that we're stranded on a fucking boat with a bunch of assassins - and you _forgot_?"

"Err...yes?"

"You idiot!"

"So mean."

"This is not me being mean, this is me being logical. I knew I should have just flown there."

"But they wouldn't have given you clearance. You have a _fighter plane_, Minamoto."

"I wish I didn't come at all."

"You're so mean - oh my god!"

"What?"

"I just realized that I finally have something else to tease you about!"

"..."

"I mean, it's not everyday you get to find out that your macho partner has a really bad case of seasickness."

"..."

"Why are you staring at me like that, Minamoto?"

"Did that really deserve an 'oh my god'?"


	268. Chapter 268

AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Someone's following us."

"Yes, I know. Wait, is that why you keep stalking me?"

"Well, I don't trust you to stay alive by yourself. Not with _your_ track record."

"Shut _up_, Minamoto."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Why don't you pay more attention to the guy who's following us - "

"Because I don't need to. He's not a very good shadow."

"How can you tell?"

"Because."

"Because what...?"

_Bam_.

"...God damn it, I thought you were going to let _me_ take care of it!"

"I saw an opening."

"So did I."

"Well, obviously, because we shot him at the same damned time!"

"...this conversation is pointless, Orimoto. We're going to be late for dinner."

"Oh, you're right...I still have to get changed."

"Let's take a look at our man first."

"Do we have to? I mean, he's definitely dead."

"Orimoto. There's a group of assassins after us. What do you _think_?"

"Okay. Fine."

"Turn him over."

"Mmmph. He's heavy."

"Definitely the muscle. Huh...you got him right in the forehead. Not a bad shot."

"Could say the same for you. Straight through the heart."

"Of course."

"Not that you need the compliment. Your ego's way too big as it is."

"At least I can back it up."

"...is that supposed to be a good thing?"


	269. Chapter 269

AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Do you really have to take so long getting ready?"

"Do _you_ really have to spend your time waiting for me in the hallway?"

"Hey, give me some credit. I'm just trying to make sure that you don't die on me."

"Couldn't you do that without acting like a stalker?"

"I'm not."

"Minamoto. Has anyone ever told you that you really need to learn some manners?"

"_You_ have. Multiple times."

"...So why haven't you?"

"Well, first off, who would I learn better manners from?"

"Me."

"...again, _who_ would I learn better manners from?"

"I definitely have better manners than you, Minamoto."

"Liar."

"I do! Not that it's a big achievement, really."

"Orimoto, if you _do _have better manners than me, you're really good at hiding it."

"...If I wasn't half-dressed, I'd come out of this room and smack you halfway to the moon."

"Why not all the way?"

"Sometimes, Kouji-sempai, I wonder if you realize what you're actually saying when you try to be all smart-ass-ish."

* * *

In spite of my school's best efforts, I am still alive.


	270. Chapter 270

AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"Minamoto, if you don't answer me, I'm going to get really pissed off."

"...you don't look like a prepubescent boy anymore."

"I _never_ looked like a prepubescent boy. Prepubescent boys do not have long hair. Usually."

"Orimoto, I didn't even know you had long hair until now."

"Wow...next you're going to say that you didn't know I was a girl."

"I did have my doubts."

"...I'm not going to comment on how _ironic_ it is that _you_ of all people have trouble distinguishing between men and women."

"..."

"You don't have a snappy comeback?"

"...what were you saying?"

"Jerk."

"Don't blame _me_. I thought I heard something metal in the back."

"Stalker again?"

"Who else."

"It's alright. He won't strike while there's two of us."

"I'm not going to take any chances...hand me your gun."

"What gun?"

"The one you've got concealed under your corset, Orimoto."

"You want me to take it off? You're horrible."

"Didn't you already know that? Give it to me."

"Kouji-sempai."

"...He's about to shoot me, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Will you do the honors, then?"

"As long as you promise not to die while you're acting as my shield."

"No promises."

"...or you can try to duck."

"Yes, Orimoto, I'll do my _best_ to avoid a bullet going at several hundred meters per second..."

* * *

Full speed ahead to catch up! This little story arc should be over soon.


	271. Chapter 271

AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Look at that. No injuries."

"Lady luck smiled on you today."

"I don't believe in luck. We get off this cruise tomorrow, don't we?"

"Yes, Kouji-sempai. Is your stomach feeling better?"

"I think I got used to the nausea - for what it's worth."

"That's good. Maybe you'll even learn to like being on a boat."

"Ha."

"It's possible!"

"No, it isn't, end of story. By the way, when did you start calling me Kouji-sempai?"

"...mmm, I don't know. Minamoto is shorter and easier to say."

"Well, then, call me Minamoto."

"Or I could call you sempai."

"No. I'm barely even older than you."

"What about just Kouji?"

"..."

"...well?"

"That's not a bad idea, actually."

"..."

"What?"

"You realize that it goes both ways right? I call you Kouji, you call me Izumi?"

"...No. I'm not doing that."

"Why not?"

"Because you're...you."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"No, never mind."

"Could you at the very least explain why me being me is a problem?"

"It's not a problem, it just..._is_."

"..."

"I take it that's not very helpful."

"If you're _trying_ to confuse me, Kouji, then it's very helpful. Otherwise, not so much."


	272. Chapter 272

AU: Fighter Pilots

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji, what on earth are you doing with _my_ mail?"

"First off, it was delivered to _our_ box. I was just checking for my own mail."

"...okay, but that doesn't - "

"It looked important. Here, open it."

"I'm pretty sure that stealing mail is against the law, Kouji...oh, they finally signed the treaty."

"What?"

"They signed the treaty."

"..."

"They signed the treaty, Kouji. The war's over. The soldiers are being sent home. We have secured peace in our times. The government came to an agreement with a foreign government to terminate hostile relations. _They signed the treaty_."

"I know what a treaty is."

"Thank god for minor miracles."

"Wait, why'd they tell you but not me?"

"Well, you're basically unemployed now. Nobody wants to be the one to tell you."

"Good god, it's not like I'm going to go on a rampage..."

"They're also taking away our planes."

"What?"

"Our planes, Kouji. The army is going to take them away."

"_What_?"

"I guess it makes sense. I mean, we have to - "

"They're taking my plane away?"

"Not _just_ yours - "

"God damn it. God damn it."

"Kouji, it's just a plane."

"It's _my_ plane. I almost died in it, multiple times. The least they can do is let me have it."

"Kouji, I can see that you're upset, but my floorboards haven't done anything wrong. Would you stop pacing on them?"

"I'm going to find that, that...Who sent you the letter, Izumi?"

"The Director, Kouji, but if you'll just calm down - "

"Hang on, I'm going to find this guy."

"Kouji!"

...

"So much for not going on a rampage."


	273. Chapter 273

AU: Fighter Pilots

FINALE

Tomorrow I'll do another AU.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji."

"Hmmm?"

"I'm bored. Entertain me."

"How bored?"

"Really bored."

"Bored enough to break into the government hangar with me?"

"...what?"

"I asked, are you bored enough to break into the - "

"Kouji."

"Yes?"

"I'm not sure where you put your brain, but you need to find it as soon as possible."

"My brain is in my head."

"Are you sure you didn't drop it before you left to find the Director?"

"Izumi, you never answered my question."

"...No, Kouji, I will _not_ break into the government hangar with you. That would be a very bad idea."

"But you're bored."

"Yes, Kouji, but boredom isn't exactly the best reason to commit a felony."

"Actually, it is."

"...Kouji..."

"No, seriously. What other reasons are there?"

"I don't know, psycopathy?"

"Psycopathy, greed, aggression, sadism...take your pick. All of them are worse than boredom."

"Fine, you have a point, but it's still a bad idea to risk your life for a plane."

"What else have we been doing for the past three years?"

"...I can't win, can I?"

"Of course not, Izumi."

"If we get caught, I'm blaming you."

"Naturally."

"And where are we going to put the plane?"

"Overseas."

"...you're not planning on living a normal life, are you?"

"Not at all. Are you still bored enough to do this?"

"...I guess so. God, how am I going to tell my family that I got myself exiled over a plane?"

"You can blame me, if you want."

"Kind of hard to do. They have no idea that you exist."

"You haven't complained to them about me?"

"They'd kill me if they knew I was living with a guy."

"Probably wouldn't be too wild about our sleeping arrangements, either."

"Like I said. They'd kill me."

"But if you get yourself exiled, they can't kill you."

"...True."

"So. For the sake of your life expectancy, let's go steal some planes."

"Alright. You win."


	274. Chapter 274

AU: Ghosts

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Who the hell are you?"

"I think the better question is: who the hell are _you_?"

"I asked first."

"Fine. My name is Minamoto Kouji. Yours?"

"...what kind of name is Minamoto...?"

"It's Japanese, and it's a perfectly good name."

"You're Japanese?"

"Why else would I have a last name like Minamoto? Geez. Americans."

"I'm not American!"

"...Really."

"I'm Italian! Get that through your skull!"

"Why the _hell_ is there a dead Italian girl in my house?"

"It's _my_ house."

"Well, sorry, but it's going to take more than a see-through blond chick in an old-fashioned dress to threaten me."

"Why, I oughta..."

"...nope. Still not threatened."

"See that door? I want you to walk out and never come back."

"It's _my_ door, so it's not like I have to listen to you."

"It was mine first!"

"You're _dead_, woman."

"No, I'm a _ghost_. There's a difference."

"Right. Keep telling yourself that."

"You're so rude! Don't make me get the labor union over here, buster."

"Labor union?"

"Of course. The UOC."

"UOC?"

"The Union of Otherworldly Creatures, of course. You haven't heard of it?"

"...was I really supposed to know about something like that?"

"Well, the point is - "

"The point is, I'm living here now, so you either need to shut up or get out."

"You're going to regret saying that, Minyamoto."

"Mi-na-mo-to. If you're going to threaten me, get my name right at least."

"Mi-na-mo-tou?"

"Too much stress on the last syllable."

"Mi-na-mo-to?"

"Close."

"Okay. Minamoto."

"...for someone who's trying to throw me out, you're doing a really bad job."


	275. Chapter 275

AU: Ghosts

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Hey, woman."

"That is _not_ my name!"

"Girl."

"That's not my name either!"

"Blond."

"These names just keep getting worse and worse..."

"...Ghost?"

"Fine. I'll take that."

"You know, you could just tell me your real name."

"Well, I _would_, but."

"But?"

"The last time I did that, they tried to do research on me."

"Who's they?"

"The guys who came before you."

"Why would they do research on you?"

"To get rid of me."

"Oh, well, I don't blame them."

"Hey!"

"It's nothing personal. I just don't like sharing space with dead people."

"Or_ living _people, apparently...why would you rent an entire house by yourself, Minamoto?"

"Because I prefer to be left alone."

"That's sad."

"Says the ghost who's been living alone for decades, maybe even centuries."

"I'm not _that_ old."

"...out of pure curiosity, how old are you? Metaphysical age, not physical."

"You _jerk_!"

"What? What did I do this time?"

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's rude to ask a lady how old she is?"

"Well, you're not exactly a lady, so I don't see the problem."

"..."

"Oh. You can make things levitate when you're pissed off. That's kind of nifty."


	276. Chapter 276

AU: Ghosts

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Ow!"

"What?"

"I hit my head on the stove chimney again!"

"For the last time, it's called a _hood_...wait, ghosts can feel pain?"

"Of course we can. Why wouldn't we?"

"Oh, I don't know...maybe because you're _dead_?"

"So?"

"Do you not see the connection between being dead and not feeling pain?"

"I told you, I'm a ghost. That's different from being dead."

"I fail to see the difference."

"Oh, shut up...unless you want me to set fire to your hair."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would."

"No, you can't, because there's too much risk of the fire spreading to the rest of the house."

"...it might be worth it."


	277. Chapter 277

Canon, because I haven't done that in a while.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Kouji...how much are you going to _eat_?"

"It's a buffet."

"And we're the last customers."

"So? It's not closing time."

"Well, yes, but there has to be a limit to how much your stomach can hold."

"If there is, I haven't found it yet."

"..."

"Plus, it's more cost-effective to eat as much as possible."

"...Where the hell does the food _go_?"

"I'm eating. Don't poke me."

"But where does it go?"

"Mmmmph. Don't - "

"Woah!"

"Che - jeez. Why'd you have to tackle me?"

"I wasn't trying to! It's like the ground kind of pushed me _up_."

"That's not possible, Izumi. The ground is solid."

"Yes, but I swear - "

"...what was that?"

"See? The ground is _definitely_ moving. I didn't tackle you!"

"...I can't believe you're more worried about that than about the fact that we're caught in the middle of an earthquake."


	278. Chapter 278

Canon, because I haven't done that in a while.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Where's the exit?"

"Um, Kouji..."

"What?"

"Look behind you - "

"Oh, _shit_. Get under the table!"

"Okay, okay!"

"Hold your head down - "

"I know that!"

"Fine, I was just _reminding_ you."

"I remember just fine, thank you - "

"You're fucking _welcome_, I was just trying to help."

"...is it over?"

"I don't feel anything else. Wait. Argh!"

"That must be an aftershock...are you okay, Kouji?"

"Hit my head on the table. It shouldn't be serious, though."

"Let me see."

"Don't worry about me. Just keep your head down."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"But..."

"I'm fine."

"...okay."

"..."

"...it's not shaking anymore."

"Apparently not."

"...Wow. We just survived an earthquake."

"Assuming that it's over."

"Look, there _has _to be a limit to how screwed we can get."

"Just like how there has to be a limit to how much I can eat at a buffet?"

"...You have a point."


	279. Chapter 279

Canon, because I haven't done that in a while.

* * *

Daily Conversations

* * *

"Did you read the paper, Kouji? There's been another explosion."

"I heard. We got _lucky_. The earthquake didn't do too much in Tokyo."

"If you can call that lucky."

"I do."

"...how's everyone else?"

"I just got off the phone with Tomoki."

"Oh. Okay. Good news or bad news?"

"He's alive."

"Definitely good news!"

"But his house is completely wrecked."

"...but he's still alive."

"Right."

"So it's good news."

"Yes and no."

"...what's wrong?"

"Well, he's in a hospital right now - "

"Oh _no_."

"But in the meantime, I invited his family to our place."

"...uh oh."

"What?"

"...Well, you see, I was talking to Takuya..."

"No, Izumi. You _didn't_."

"Yes, I did."

"...You invited him and his family over?"

"Just him and his brother! His parents are in Korea right now."

"How the hell are we supposed to fit all of those people?"

"I don't know. Make it happen."

"I'm not magic, Izumi. I can't bend the laws of time and space on demand..."

"Well, you're going to have to."

"That's _a little_ easier said than done."


End file.
